Author Topic: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help  (Read 10107 times)

darklord06

Hello,

Today, I am writing this post because I really need some help or advice, the once thing that used to work for me, sitting, doesn’t work anymore.

Ever since I graduated from a business school 10 years ago, my life has been a failure.  I never found a decent job , I could only find call center jobs that drove me crazy (I hated being a “phone monkey”) in between long periods of unemployment) and now, at 32 years old I still live with my parents.
I have no friend, a girlfriend is a distant memory and I just can’t see how I could get of the hole I am in, since I haven’t been able to build a career.

Because of this situation, I fell into depression, I tried to battle it on my own for years until I couldn’t take it anymore and I went to see a psychiatrist, he prescribed me an antidepressant (seroxat).

It seemed to work but I really reached a state of “balance” only after I discovered meditation and I started sitting daily, all of a sudden my life didn’t hurt as much. I just felt “lucky” for being alive and all my problems seemed “temporay”, just as my life on this earth.

After a while, and after a little research I grew more and worried about the potential long term effects of antidepressants on my brain, so I decided to stop being on meds. The first few months, sitting seemed to be enough, but my “demons” came back with a vengeance.

I used to be able to focus much easier, to “empty” my mind but all the progress I have made disappeared. I can barely focus anymore, I am haunted by random thoughts and I cannot detach myself from them anymore. Recently It has gotten even worst, I cannot even feel pleasure anymore, I can’t enjoy the things I liked in the past, when I listen to music it is just noise to me, when I surf I don’t feel anything, I just feel dead.

I keep on sitting, and when I sit I don’t expect anything to happen, I am glad to have at least 15min during the day in which I don’t feel like a complete looser, but it is much harder to reach a state of calmness necessary for introspection, my mind is way more agitated because of life (or my absence of life).

I have noticed that it is cyclical, I have periods where I feel a little better, where my mind is less agitated followed by periods of pure hell, but most of the time, it’s hell. The problem is also that when I am really down, I cannot make myself realize that it is indeed cyclical.
I intellectually know it, but It feels like my body isn’t convinced of it.


Any advice ?

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
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Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2010, 09:14:37 AM »
darklord,

Firstly meditation comes from the same Latin root as medication, both are methods of healing. For "psychological ills" meditation has often proven to be as effective or more so - especially than SSRI type drugs such as Seroxat. There can also be quite a heavy come down from Seroxat and similar family drugs.

Some practicalities: When you sit are you paying attention to the body? Bodily sensations? Air entering your nose? What is going on with your actual sitting practice? This may shed some light on your situation.

You say that you sit for 15 minutes. This is just long enough for the effects of meditation to start working and only just. So once we have an idea of how you are practicing and if adjustments are suited, it will also be that you would benefit greatly from extending the length of your practice.

The method of meditation I teach is body focussed and does not aim at "emptying the mind". It is aimed at reconnecting mind and body and leading to deeply relaxed but awake states. This calm imbues your whole body and the mind follows, slowly quieting the thoughts over time just as if you took the lid slowly off a pressure cooker to let out the steam. So the mind does empty but not by trying to empty the mind - this would be like trying to clean an oily rag with itself! - destined to fail.

You say "my 'demons' came back with a vengeance" - I could be wrong here but I suspect the manner and length of your meditations was sort of "tightening the lid on the pressure cooker", so you got your 'demons' under control for a while, but possibly by subtly using force to quiet your mind. If you use relaxation instead this cannot happen. The demons will not go away over night but with sustained right meditation born of right effort and right view, they most certainly will stop being demons and start being something you can comprehend, relate to and deal with. It taks a stable, calm and quiet mind to do this and it taks time to get there - but you can get there.

I also believe there is great value in this process for someone such as you (such as me when I started on this journey) in having a "spiritual friend" of some kind - someone you can learn to trust and unburden yourself on. Often as depressed people have limited relationships this can be hard to achieve but one way I do not discount is to see a good therapist and this can work very beneficially with meditation.

So please, tell more about the technique you are using, where you learned it and I will make some suggestions.

Warm regards,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

ivana

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2010, 12:02:35 PM »
I can offer friendship and advice fight for what you want. If you want better job you have to find a better job, if you do not want to live with parents you have to find something other. ....
Drugs does not do it, only you can do it.
Do not give up meditation.
 ;D

rideforever

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2010, 07:08:57 PM »
Hi there

Last year I walked right into an intentional community (in the uk).  I worked in the garden and kitchen, they fed me good food, and I made some friends.  (I have an MBA as well, it was recession time and there were no jobs).

Anyway, maybe you can try it.  It beats the hell of not going anywhere. 

Here's a map :

http://directory.ic.org/maps/

A lot of these places you can just call them and turn up.  Change your life around in 24 hours.  Whether it's permanent or temporary, it's a new perspective.


kidnovice

  • Member
    • Theravada: with nuts and bolts from Goenka-ji, and fine tuning from Thanissaro Bhikkhu
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2010, 07:44:01 PM »
Hi there

Last year I walked right into an intentional community (in the uk).  I worked in the garden and kitchen, they fed me good food, and I made some friends.  (I have an MBA as well, it was recession time and there were no jobs).

Anyway, maybe you can try it.  It beats the hell of not going anywhere. 

Here's a map :

http://directory.ic.org/maps/

A lot of these places you can just call them and turn up.  Change your life around in 24 hours.  Whether it's permanent or temporary, it's a new perspective.



I gotta say that this is some damn good advice. I'm sure there is alot going on with you, but a big part seems to be that you are lonely, plain and simple. Let your meditation practice be a source of support as Matthew advises, but also look for ways to make the personal connections that you need. A therapist could be a good start, but get yourself out there and meeting people.

I know that sounds hard when you feel stuck, but its actually the easiest thing on your list of things to do, and probably the most important. (finding a job and a girlfriend are much harder, but NOT as important in my opinion.  :P)

So, check out the intentional community that RF suggested, but don't stop there. There are many meditation/spiritual/retreat centers where you can stay/visit/volunteer. Just start looking. And often it costs little more than your service. Simply hanging out with good people can do wonders for you.  And don't forget about just going out to stuff that interests you: meditation groups, lectures, concerts, performances, book clubs, knitting circles. Whatever floats your boat. Being out there doing things that you love will make you happy, and increase the chances that you will make new friends. Its true.

Best of luck,
KN
May we cultivate the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the compassion to change the things we can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

maybeiam

  • Member
  • Nature is a beautiful peace to be
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2010, 03:51:00 AM »
he submitted to such, to where he is now.
 when one deals good with him self there is no needs
that community retreat in that way, wouldn't be that a runaway distraction for the phase hes into now? i guess so..


Bless you

Windex5

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2010, 04:28:54 AM »
Hey man!

Sounds like your on quite a trip about this unemployment business. From what I read maybe its time to do something completely different! Don't worry about getting a decent job, get a job that is low stress and hard work but its really cool. Live cheaply and just relax about these cultural expectations for a little while.Might want to google phantom ranch, a little inn at the bottom of the grand canyon! I love the commune idea too! Now seems like a perfect time to go off on a whim. once you have a wife, kids , mortgage, and career it will probably be far less satisfying then the social validation you imagine comes with it. I know tons of people with a wife , money, houses, and everything you could imagine but they aren't happy. By far, the happiest people I have met on this planet have been contemplatives.

On meditation. Meditate longer man! I really consider myself meditating after my nerves in my muscles get done spazzing out and oozing ecstasy juice. Then practice really starts. I actually started going backwards it seemed like. Some three weeks ago, it was like starting again. Except now you have a souped up mind to look at your thoughts with. I also made alot more progress when focusing on my whole body rather than a single point. Really use your concentration as a sponge to soak up every last detail of the breath.

Here's an exercise for you

Notice every time you have a thought about becoming. For instance ,I should go back to school. Or , I should get a haircut. Mostly shoulds  :). Just notice these thoughts. I was suprised about how much of my suffering was caused by becoming thoughts.

Good luck man. Please holla at me whenever ;D



kidnovice

  • Member
    • Theravada: with nuts and bolts from Goenka-ji, and fine tuning from Thanissaro Bhikkhu
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2010, 10:20:31 PM »
Now seems like a perfect time to go off on a whim. once you have a wife, kids , mortgage, and career it will probably be far less satisfying then the social validation you imagine comes with it.

Ha. Funny cause its true. And amazing how that desire for social validation can really nail you, huh?

wouldn't be that a runaway distraction for the phase hes into now? i guess so..

Seems to me to be more about knowing when to accept things and when to change things. As meditators, it is tempting to think that the right answer is always to just accept and observe. But this is not a sustainable practice, especially for a lay person. Indeed, it can be quite destructive and stifling. Even for monks, the Buddha did not advocate a purely "accept and do nothing" approach.

May we all feel loving kindness for ourselves... and know how to act upon it!
KN
May we cultivate the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the compassion to change the things we can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

Jeeprs

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2010, 07:53:05 AM »
I feel for you situation. A few points I would make are, first, that meditation is part of the eightfold path, not all of it. There is also, for example, right means of livelihood, which is a struggle for you.  I don't think we can view meditation as an alternative to dealing with those kinds of issues. Life goes on with its demands. But hey, I am a lot older than you, when I was your age, my occupation was Taxi Driver. I found a good career eventually in IT but it took a lot of doing.

It is good you have noticed the cyclical nature of your feelings. I experience the same thing. It is important to have insights into the way the mind and body works.

dragoneye

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    • Observant
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2010, 10:56:08 PM »
DL,
If you hadn't asked for advice, I wouldn't do this.
I'm sorry for your pain.
Along the lines of Jeepers, it appears to me that theres as much positive to your condition as negative.
You haven't a girlfriend to worry about and your parents are alive. You can surf and listen to music too!
If you can breathe, see what that really feels like... what it tastes like.
This is the blessing we have while on this side of the dirt. Other than to love, it may be the only reason we are here.
Love your self,
DE
Dragoneye

darklord06

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2010, 08:52:53 PM »
hello,

Thank you all for your advice, it really helps !!
Sorry if i took all this time to reply, but I have been quite busy, mostly preparing for a driving license test that I will have next week. I have tried to get a driving license for two years now, but it is really difficult for me to concentrate while driving and the last time I tried to pass the test, I failed because I was so nervous (maybe my numerous experiences with failure).

First to reply to Matthew, when I sit ,I try to focus on my breath, it worked in the past but like i said, since I stopped taking antidepressant, It is extremely harder to focus on one thing. I gave up focusing on my breath and now I just try to pain attention to body sensations. This technique seems to appease me, at least while I am sitting.
Not being able to concentrate is really an issue for me, I love learning foreign languages and I have noticed the impact of this inability to concentrate on my learning. When I was still under antidepressants and I could concentrate better, I managed to learn Swedish and speak it fluently in 2 years, I have been studying mandarin for 1 year and half and although my writing and speaking are somewhat ok, I just cannot relax and concentrate to have a good level of oral comprehension and it is very frustrating.

Usually, when I want to concentrate on something, my mind goes all over the place, I start thinking about the context of things instead of their content, I just cannot appreciate things for what they are.
I used to love listening to music, now, when I try to listen to music, instead of appreciating the beuty of the melody I start having thoughts about the singer,it’s audience, the instruments he or she uses, what I am supposed to feel….  And when I have all those thoughts, I just can’t enjoy the music !

I also know that sitting for 15minutes isn’t enough and I will definitely try to sit longer, I just have to find a way to last past the usual cramps that I have after 20minutes.

It has been mentioned that I should try to get past those “should” and “social/cultural obligations” that add fire to my suffering, in a way, I have already “mourned» those expectations that I had about my life. T
Ten years ago, I pictured myself being successful and having a great life, now I know that it most likely will never happen and I accepted it, I just want a job that “doesn’t suck too bad” and at least have my own independence again.
Because I need to start everything from scratch, I was thinking about going abroad, maybe Canada (I’m French) but I’m still considering it.

I now that I have written a long post and maybe it is all over the place but I guess that is a reflexion of what is going on n my mind, I just feel like my situation is getting more desperate, I can barely sleep anymore, my therapist thinks that I should start taking antidepressants again, but I really would like to avoid this outcome a   nd I still believe that meditation could help me somehow.

Thank you !

Morning Dew

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2010, 07:49:31 AM »
First and foremost you can start taking antidepresant if you feel overwhelmed. No reason for forceing your self not to take them. Try to become aware of this fight going inside of you, observe it while sitting.
f**k the breath, i also suck in concentration but the good news is that meditation is not about that but awareness instead. Sensing the body, cool do that. 15 minutes is fine. Add only one minute longer every day and see where you arrive. I did this and arrived at 45 mins ( 1 hour is still alot for me). I also felt panic at one stage and went back to just 5 min a day. 3-4 weeks later i felt better and was up to 45 mins.

You cant drive fast on ice. Take it slowly on your self.

You are trying to distract yourself with enjoyment like music and relaxing meditation but this is only another form of escape, distraction. Another distraction would be to feel guilty because you see this being true ;). Dont be hard on yourself. All this will pass (impermanence).

Friendly

ivana

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2010, 07:57:10 PM »
Good luck to recieve your driving licence. I have a good experience how to meditate for long time. I did by myself and I did sometimes and 20 minutes, no regulary. So I decided to go somewhere to meditate. I go to nearest buddhist temple there is meditation free. I go there and if you come there you meditate aproximately 15 minutes walking meditation and 1hour of sitting meditation. It is more easy. If I am at home. I have internet, mobile and other possibility of distration but if I come to meditation class I meditate.
 

kidnovice

  • Member
    • Theravada: with nuts and bolts from Goenka-ji, and fine tuning from Thanissaro Bhikkhu
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2010, 03:24:09 AM »
First and foremost you can start taking antidepresant if you feel overwhelmed. No reason for forceing your self not to take them.

I must say that I was thinking the same thing. I think its wonderful that you aspire to stop taking them, and only you can decide when that time is. But at some point you may want to revisit the possibility of taking anti-depressants. That would not be a "failure"  or a sign of weakness. In fact, if you reach that point, it may be a moment of compassion. Compassion for yourself. It can be incredibly wise to humbly accept that you need help.

Perhaps that not where you are at. Only you can decide. I just couldn't help but notice that you are dealing with alot right now. It might be more optimal to stop the meds once you have resolved some other aspects of your life (job/friends/community/relationship).  But only you know whats right for you. Only you can decide how far you can healthily stretch.

With metta,
KN
May we cultivate the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the compassion to change the things we can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
  • Member
  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • Buddhism is a practical psychology and philosophy, not a religion.
    • If you cling to view, you must know this limits your potential.
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2010, 11:34:48 AM »
darklord,

.....First to reply to Matthew, when I sit ,I try to focus on my breath, it worked in the past but like i said, since I stopped taking antidepressant, It is extremely harder to focus on one thing. I gave up focusing on my breath and now I just try to pain attention to body sensations. This technique seems to appease me, at least while I am sitting.
....


You have stumbled on the right meditation. When we say "concentrate on the breath" what we mean is "concentrate on the bodily sensations as you breathe". Not just that but a second important ingredient "breathe in mindful of the body and calming the body, breath out mindful of the body and calming the body".

If you find it very hard to concentrate then, for a while at least, spend the first five minutes or so of your meditation counting breaths silently: "one" as you breath in, "one" as you breath out, "two" in "two" out, etc. If you notice your mind has wandered start at one again. If you get to ten go back to one. Only do this if needed and for the first few minutes of your session then focus your attention on the whole body as you breath in and out relaxing and calming the body.

.....I also know that sitting for 15minutes isn’t enough and I will definitely try to sit longer, I just have to find a way to last past the usual cramps that I have after 20minutes. ....

Cramp: 1) Are you drinking enough water? 2) Do you do some/enough physical exercise. 3) is your posture cutting bloodflow to the legs - if so adjust.

Time: It takes ten minutes for the bodymind to settle. In a fifteen minute session you are actually only likely to be spending five minutes with the practice. Just start doing 20 or 25 minutes and if you get cramp adjust your position. As long as you are drinking enough water and getting some physical exercise and not cutting the bloodflow to your legs you will have no trouble expanding this time. In fact the opposite is true. 20 minutes will feel like no time at all once you get the conditions right. Also use a timer on your mobile phone or something to time your sessions. Clock-watching makes them go slowly. Non-clock watching allows you into the practice and the practice into you.

It has been mentioned that I should try to get past those “should” and “social/cultural obligations” that add fire to my suffering, in a way, I have already “mourned» those expectations that I had about my life.

Ten years ago, I pictured myself being successful and having a great life, now I know that it most likely will never happen and I accepted it, I just want a job that “doesn’t suck too bad” and at least have my own independence again.

I detect an air of sadness here that tells me this grieving and acceptance is partial, incomplete. More importantly it is completely misplaced.

Ten years ago I was reeling in shock. This summer I wrote a paper that a psychology professor called "one of the most interesting pieces of writing I have read in my career". I have a green light from a funding agency to bid for £500,000 to do the research based on the paper. I am the chair of the association of tenants where I live. This summer I organised a carnival, got several thousand pounds in grants and am working hard to help create the conditions for healthy community to emerge in an inner city estate where mistrust and distrust are everywhere.

In ten years, or one year, you may be doing wonderful things that you never contemplated being within your grasp. I lunched with Tulku Ringu Rinpoche once and asked him, "if you had to sum up in one sentence the key teaching of the Buddha, what would it be?"

"Oh that's easy", he replied immediately, "You can change yourself".

I suggest a healthy disregard for your conditioned ideas about the limits of the possibilities of your life is very much worth generating. After all these are purely conditioned thoughts.

Because I need to start everything from scratch, I was thinking about going abroad, maybe Canada (I’m French) but I’m still considering it.

Wherever you go, the one thing you will find there is you. You can start from scratch right where you are or by moving away. Just be very sure you are moving away and not running away - because if it is the latter, the thing you are running from, will be there when you arrive: you.



I now that I have written a long post and maybe it is all over the place but I guess that is a reflexion of what is going on n my mind, I just feel like my situation is getting more desperate, I can barely sleep anymore, my therapist thinks that I should start taking antidepressants again, but I really would like to avoid this outcome a   nd I still believe that meditation could help me somehow.. ....

Get the meditation right and the rest will follow. If you need the prop of the medication for a while to get the meditation right then have no shame. I remain unconvinced it is necessary but it is your call in conjunction with your therapist. If you can meditate twice a day for thirty minutes each time and do it for a month I would expect: 1) that you have passed this roadblock. 2) that you will be sleeping better. 3) That thirty minutes will not feel long enough.

Above all realise that meditation is a tool that releases the blocks and unlocks certain natural human traits such as compassion, equanimity, calm. If in the rest of your life you are thinking/doing/saying things that are pulling you in the opposite direction then you are reducing the benefit or making meditation a prop. So be mindful of the balance in your life and mindful of yourself off the cushion just as much as on it.

Warmly,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

Morning Dew

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2010, 11:52:58 AM »
Nicely put Matthew :) i think you inspired me to go and sit once more. Off i go, ta ta ;)

kidnovice

  • Member
    • Theravada: with nuts and bolts from Goenka-ji, and fine tuning from Thanissaro Bhikkhu
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2010, 05:11:22 AM »
Well said. I am inspired to go sit too!
May we cultivate the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the compassion to change the things we can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

sinkingthinking

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2011, 10:48:56 PM »
OP, you sound so much like me it's actually quite weird! From being good at languages except listening comprehension, to showing initial academic promise, to serious issues with driving, to working in call centres! I work in one at the moment and I honestly can't think of any other entry level employment type I'd be able to keep. I am diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Primarily Inattentive Type, and I am on a long waiting list to be assessed for Asperger's Syndrome as well/instead (technically you're not supposed to be diagnosed with both as AD/HD problems are so very common in autism spectrum disorders anyway). An autism charity is providing advice and a social skills learning group for Asperger's Syndrome despite the lack of an official diagnosis at the moment.

Like most people with one or other or both of these conditons, I have some degree of dyspraxia (poor motor control) and poor spatial awareness (I have a very poor sense of where my body is in relation to other objects, even when looking at said objects, so I frequently walk into the wall or hedge I'm walking parallel to, etc.) I also have enormous difficulty performing manual tasks quickly, because gross motor or complex sequential tasks don't become automatic to me easily, so I have to consciously control every motion and plan the next one without it ever becoming automatic (try consciously controlling every movement of every muscle while walking to see how difficult this makes things), which among other reasons is why only call centre work has proved maintainable so far - no manual tasks have to be performed quickly and accurately except typing, which I can do. These aren't defining aspects of any developmental disorder but they are commonly found to occur with them. A lot of people with Asperger's Syndrome find that even if they don't have these associated deficits and are good at work, getting chosen for jobs is rare because they don't have a good job interview technique.

From your description of your predicament it really sounds like more than depression is going on here, it sounds like some kind of learning disability or developmental disability is underlying it. You say that your troubles started before the depression. I am especially curious about whether your concentration ability was below average even before your depression, and whether you think any of the above issues I've described contribute to your employment troubles. If so, I recommend mentioning it to a professional and seeking a neuropsychological examination to find out what your cognitive strengths and weaknesses really are, specifically. With accurate diagnosis comes opportunities for self-help, various therapies, and legally required accommodations for you at work, job interviews and in other situations. And MUCH needed self-respect, all the time you have the illusion of a self, that is. If you have AS, for example, you can take comfort from the fact that only 15% of adults with it are in any kind of employment at all! You'll have beaten the odds. :)

I am lead to believe I might be committing a faux pas by suggesting that someone may have a developmental/learning disability when they haven't asked, and if this is the case I apologise, but I know how devastating it is to spend years not knowing why or rather, how, certain things are so difficult for you and so not knowing how to go about making them easier, and not knowing that there are others like you. It's a lot worse than any offence that can be caused over the Internet.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2011, 10:52:55 PM by sinkingthinking »

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
  • Member
  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • Buddhism is a practical psychology and philosophy, not a religion.
    • If you cling to view, you must know this limits your potential.
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2011, 11:37:33 PM »
sinkingthinking

All these disorders are made up bullshit to sell drugs. Rare is a true "mental disorder". The problem lays in the conditioning experiences of childhood. The answer lays in undoing those knots that bind you. Therapy and meditation are good bedfellows for doing this.

Peace,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

sinkingthinking

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2011, 12:19:40 PM »
sinkingthinking

All these disorders are made up bullshit to sell drugs. Rare is a true "mental disorder". The problem lays in the conditioning experiences of childhood. The answer lays in undoing those knots that bind you. Therapy and meditation are good bedfellows for doing this.

Peace,

Matthew

I disagree with your first sentence as you know, but regardless, it's hard to access therapy when you have no diagnosis, and so no money to pay for them and even no home in some cases because without a diagnosis you have no legal rights to reasonable accommodations in the work place or in job interviews, and in many places no right to disability benefits or educational, advocacy or therapeutic programmes to help people improve their situation. Unless you think it is possible to completely alter the size and wiring of multiple parts of the brain over night with meditation, it seems counter-productive to me to wish that we end up or remain penniless and therefore in this society, helpless and dependent on relatives and friends, in the meantime.

I have a diagnosis, and even I have extremely limited access to psychological therapies for it. I have had SOME though, whereas without diagnosis I'd have none, and I'd know that the next time I become unemployed I could face another year of unemployment without any specialist job-seeking support that would actually address and work around the specific behavioural and cognitive reasons WHY I'm not getting or keeping jobs, and without extra benefits acknowledging the likelihood of my spending a lot longer unemployed than someone without those problems (whatever you believe causes them).

Morning Dew

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2011, 02:52:08 PM »
Quote
I have a diagnosis, and even I have extremely limited access to psychological therapies for it. I have had SOME though, whereas without diagnosis I'd have none, and I'd know that the next time I become unemployed I could face another year of unemployment without any specialist job-seeking support that would actually address and work around the specific behavioural and cognitive reasons WHY I'm not getting or keeping jobs, and without extra benefits acknowledging the likelihood of my spending a lot longer unemployed than someone without those problems (whatever you believe causes them).

I hear you friend, and you say some very reasonable stuff which indeed is part of our conditioned society. You are doing great. Life is not just black and white. It is rather all the shades of gray in between.

friendly

Venetian

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #21 on: January 13, 2011, 03:28:39 PM »
I had problems meditating while sitting. Now I've turned walking into a fantastic meditation experience! Try to read some books on mindfulness

Stefan

  • The Marvellous Omannobazong!!!
  • Member
  • love is the key
    • Vipassana (Goenka), Freestyle, Family, God
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2011, 03:38:27 PM »
Recently It has gotten even worst, I cannot even feel pleasure anymore, I can’t enjoy the things I liked in the past, when I listen to music it is just noise to me, when I surf I don’t feel anything, I just feel dead.

Any advice ?

why do you call yourself darklord?

I f**ked myself up by wearing dark and spiky clothes, reading Stephen King, listening to Black Metal, watching depressing movies full of action & violence, ... you know what I mean. So, filling me up with "dark" stuff, I became "dark".
There's love out there? HA! I knew better ...

maybe I'm judging you wrong ... but anyway, "darklord" isn't exactly a name that is associated with sunny & flowery feelings.

I wish you the very best! Keep it up, you are on the right track.

Metta, Stefan

PS.: in our "culture", career is a very dangerous thing and shouldn't be started carelessly. All those careers are carnivore and consume humans ...  ;) ... I don't employ a career either, and I feel considerably great. I'd feel horrible if I had to obey a career.
anicca

Stefan

  • The Marvellous Omannobazong!!!
  • Member
  • love is the key
    • Vipassana (Goenka), Freestyle, Family, God
Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2011, 03:42:57 PM »
I've turned walking into a fantastic meditation experience!

Yes I love that too  :)
anicca

rideforever

Re: I can't feel pleasure and sitting doesn't help anymore, please help
« Reply #24 on: January 15, 2011, 05:17:31 PM »
Ten years ago, I pictured myself being successful and having a great life, now I know that it most likely will never happen and I accepted it, I just want a job that “doesn’t suck too bad”

Quote
I am glad to have at least 15min during the day in which I don’t feel like a complete looser, but it is much harder to reach a state of calmness necessary for introspection, my mind is way more agitated because of life (or my absence of life).

Hi there DL06

When you talk about "feeling like a complete loser" and "job that doesn't suck so bad" it seems to me there are more things in your life to grieve and resolve, and accept.

Maybe you can do meditations for that ?

Personally I also feel emptiness / no purpose / no love, and I am going to change meditations (from Vipassana) to meditating on LOVE and the HEART.

To just sit and ask myself "what is love ?".  And feel the "heart" in the body.  I will try some different things.

Because I need to feel something at the moment.  Some warmth and love.  Maybe in the future when I feel love again, I will go back to the tough stuff and the search for reality etc... 

But right now I need to feel a reason, I need to feel love.

RF

 

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