Although I'm not meant to be reading or posting (by my own decision!), I thought I would check in and revive this topic as I finally can put together my experience now with some theory I've held for a while. Hey, I can break my own rules if I want to!
For me, the concept of 'no self' is a misnomer. There is a self of sorts, it however is both unknowable and impermanent. It is unknowable as it arises from the incomprehensible 'ground of being' interacting with the 'realm of karma'. If you look for it, it dissolves immediately. Both of these concepts, 'karma and being' are as indeterminate and unknowable as each other! It is impermanent as it only lasts a 'life time' and is experienced one life 'at a time'. It is best described as 'no essential permanent self'. You are born and you die.
From a philosophical point of view, Spinoza is the source of my best definition. Massively paraphrased, it goes something like this;
If one take the terms 'Eternal' and 'Infinite' and thinks about them long enough, it can be 'understood' that both are outside our comprehension. We use them like we know, but the reality is we don't! However, if we pretend that we have some clue what they mean, it would be fair to say the following;
1) there can only be One 'eternal and infinite' thing.
2) 'we'- our sense of self, isn't it!
Proof for point one goes like this. It I have a jug that holds only 1 litre of water, then holding 2 litres in that jug is absurd. So is goes that, if we imagine we have an 'eternal and infinite' container, then it can contain only one 'eternal and infinite' thing. There cannot be two 'eternal & infinite' things; there is only One by definition. So it is that Islam gets it right when it says "God is One, and God is alone". However, like ALL religions, the list of things that it gets 'right' is pretty short!.
The proof for point 2 becomes easy, and to quote Buddha 'everything that has a beginning has an end'. The truth behind reincarnation is that it is not literally a 'self' passing from life to life, but rather a logical flow of events i.e. karma. Experiencing past lives is like walking out of one movie at the cinema and into another one and seeing the sequel or prequel of the first, the connection is that they are both playing in next door cinemas; there is no 'eternal personal 'you/me/I' self' playing all the parts and sitting in all the seats! Some eternal & infinite thing has been doing this, but it isn't 'you'! Our task, if we choose it, it to experience the 'thing' that has been doing all of this.
At best we could imagine that there is a self of sorts that began many life times ago, and will finish in many life times. However, that is no different than saying you only get one life ultimately, it really just playing with numbers to argue the point. If it began, it will end.
My experience of this is simple, I closed my eyes the other day and sat. I breathed and thought "if there is an end to 'me' then why strive?" I laughed softly as I sensed the peace that tells me what I have thought is true. I could feel the suffering fall away as I relaxed about 'getting somewhere' and 'being someone'. Identifying with 'that which has always been free and will always be free' -nirvana- (by any other name -smells the same!) is the way out, but once you realize that, the need to get out dissolves anyway!.
So for me now, finally, I can say I do this 'meditation thing' because I want to, I'm not compelled to take this path other that it is an adventure I want to take -this getting to know nirvana stuff!... Just something to do really!!
There is volumes written on the subject, but I think what ever one pieces together reading, should play out in sitting. For me the other day, it did.
love
andy
ps If i was to go back over this post 10 billion times correcting logical flaws and making it water tight, it would still leak like a sieve!, The point is, imagining 'living forever' is a pointless thing to do. What is going on here is already doing just that; 'living forever', making it-by definition- the only thing that can!. Letting go of our imaginary self, opens us up to what is really going on and that is TRULY WONDERFUL!!!
I'm still not a buddhist though; rather I'm a "getting-to-know-that-thing-that-is-really-going-on-ist'!!!