Author Topic: Help with my mother and vipassana  (Read 4038 times)

maffmatix

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Help with my mother and vipassana
« on: May 13, 2009, 11:42:26 PM »
Well I did Vipassana in Shelburne MA, and I got a lot out of it. 

My mother and I have always had a rough relationship because we would argue and argue and argue... for reasons that are pointless to list.

I came out of Vipassana a lot more relaxed and understanding, and a lot less argumentative (although I've lost a bit of that over time, which could be addressed in another post!!) but my mother is still the same person.

Now, while I can handle her so much better now, I think she would benefit from the course (obviously).  She said it sounds wonderful and must really work.  Here's where her excuse comes in:  she has been taking some anti-anxiety/anti-depressant for SUCH a long time, and she says that last time she stopped taking it it had really bad effects on her.  She said it physically and mentally hurt her badly.  She also had cancer 10 years ago (recovered fine) but I think she also connects her damages from that with getting off the "medication".  There doesn't seem to be any convincing her to stop taking it.

WHAT ON EARTH do I do??

pamojjam

  • Guest
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2009, 01:03:32 AM »

Wellcome maffmatix,

you can't nor should do anything further, I think. If your mother really wants to, she can sign up for a Vipassana course and mention on her application that she's been on some anti-anxiety/anti-depressant for that long. I'm pretty sure no teacher there would recommend stop taking the medication for the time of her first course. Why you believe it's so important for that occasion?

kind regards..

anicca

  • Guest
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2009, 10:12:58 AM »
Hi maffmatix,

I did my first ten day Vipassana when I was 22 (now 37). Prior to my first course I had a terrible relationship with my father. He was angry, verbally abusive and we rarely saw eye to eye on things. I always thought that it was him who had to change. During my first ten day course I went through a huge amount of stuff to do with my dad and it was me who was changed. Ever since then our relationship has consistently gotten better and better until today we have a great relationship.

Also, if this is Goenka vipassana you are talking about she needn't have to get off the medications to do the course, but that will be up to the conducting Assistant Teacher. However, ultimately it has to be your mother's decision to do the course and something she wants to do for herself, not just to please you.

humanoid

  • Guest
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2009, 11:11:08 AM »
if she decides to get off the medication she must talk about this with her doctor.
for benzo's (like xanax) as well as ssri antidepressants (like prozac)
it's important to slooooowly lower the dosage over a big time period.

the brain needs time to adjust to being drugless.
if she quits cold turkey this may have negative longterm effects on the brain.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2009, 05:48:39 PM by humanoid »

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
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  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2009, 12:07:56 PM »
Hi maffmatix,

I can only support what others have said. It will be up to the assistant director but if your mother's psychiatric situation has basically been stable and she is on stable doses of medication this *should not* be a problem.

When I registered for a course in England they were extremely accommodating, recognising that my physical health would seriously affect the course routine they worked hard to make it workable and did not expect me to stop taking prescribed meds which, although I take them for antispasmodic properties also have psychoactive properties.

If your mother's interest is genuine and she has been inspired to practice meditation by what she has seen in you it would surprise me if getting on a course was anything less than straightforward.

... but as anicca said, it's her choice.

Welcome to the forums,

Matthew
« Last Edit: May 14, 2009, 09:50:13 PM by The Irreverent Buddhist »
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

Stefan

  • The Marvellous Omannobazong!!!
  • Member
  • love is the key
    • Vipassana (Goenka), Freestyle, Family, God
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2009, 08:45:02 PM »
WHAT ON EARTH do I do??

 :) sit on  your cushion ...

you benefit from Vipassana, she benefits from you.

With Metta, Stefan
anicca

maffmatix

  • Guest
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2009, 02:31:10 AM »
Thanks for all the tips.  I agree with all of you and this is basically where I've been mentally as well, but I suppose I have to stick to letting things go as they may, and not try too hard to convince her to do it. 


you benefit from Vipassana, she benefits from you.


Very true!

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
  • Staff
  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: Help with my mother and vipassana
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2009, 02:55:25 AM »
WHAT ON EARTH do I do??

 :) sit on  your cushion ...

you benefit from Vipassana, she benefits from you.

This is why practice is called practice. Because it is how it changes us in real life off the cushion that is the cornerstone of a meditative life. The knock on effects go deep. She benefits from you, everyone you encounter benefits from you and everyone they encounter benefits from their encounters with you. Powerful stuff.

In high finance it's called "leverage" and bankrupts everyone else eventually, except those benefiting, as finance is a closed limited world. We see that clearly now.

In meditation - unlike money - there is no fixed supply of the fruits, no cost except your time of doing the work, and no one else pays for this leverage, people only benefit from it. This is because awareness is not a limited supply commodity and is freely and equally available to all who develop it.

In the Dhamma,

Matthew
« Last Edit: May 16, 2009, 03:03:40 AM by The Irreverent Buddhist »
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

 

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