Author Topic: 300hours of vipassana to cleanse after sexual interaction with woman  (Read 99 times)

Phil94

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Hi everyone,
curious to hear your opinions on this experience I had in my last 12 months, I'll try to write it down in compact somehow. It's all my point of view ofcourse.
somehow we are this concious focus point that can move anywhere. I made my 10 day and 3day vipassana in september and december 2019. Afterwards I've been praticing continuesly. In September 2020 I started a yoga teacher training. I've always been more of the intrinsic person and so I was basically simply going inwards during the lectures and absorbing everything, if that makes sense. At the end of that year I started my burnout in my normal job which I quit in june 2020. So there is this woman in this yoga course and she is basically projecting things on people looking at them, she later explained that she wanted to crack me regarding sex, shes intense regarding that. She had sex with lots of men however she has borderline and 4 psychotherapys, took pills, panic attacks, eating issues to name a few.

starting from jan to june my burnout took place, I would drink alcohol in the morning in order to simply autowork without thinking, I would take ice cold showers and did extensive sports.

In may we met for acro yoga 4 days and had intense sex, afterwards I went back into my normal life and counldn't handle a thing, it was going back into another world. During these 4 days (April) I was focusing on my heart area and we had eyes contact for ages and I was sort of taking in everything of her soul as well as her heart and we had intense sex. I have not had sex 2 years before that.
We wouldnt see each other for 2 weeks because I wanted a cut since I was so overwhelmed. The we met again for one weekend and again I cut the contact for 2 weeks, I didnt understand what was going on. It was so absurd. After that we went on vacation for 6 weeks together. It went completly nuts, I'm grateful for this experience but basically we had sex one day and I was completely DONE for the next days, I wouldn't be able to speak, I'd panic, I'd not talk for a whole day.

After that we have not had contact for 2 months, in these months I basically isolated my self from almost everyone except my mum since she does a lot of energetic work. I meditated for hours and hours, had the craziest dreams about snakes, I started feeling my medians and trying to sort my life back. Now I'm at the sea since one week and things come up which I know are from her past. I accept them and let the emotions flow but just 2 hours ago I was crying my eyes out and saying to my self "I dont want to hate my self anymore".

I was always the most positive person ever. Also things happened when I e.g. on vacation said I would want to get a certrain tattoo, a line from my neck to the right ring finger and she was like, thats what I wanted to do too!!

me and my mom started to work up all my relationships to my friends and people I had contact with the last months since I did that sort of focusing more often. One friend of mine later told me, he has burn out every few weeks, he just accepts it and gets a break and the continues..

So my questions.
Anyone with experience regarding memory transfer during sex and these experiences coming up during vipassana?
I managed to handle her soul basically, things that came up like "why am I here" What am I here for" and I went into a dialog in order to fix it and it worked out.
I'm wondering if these questions were still there to her before and I solved them for her or if it was just for me.

I'm thankful for every comment on this, I'm also trying to talk to her to figure things out.

 

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