Hello Sanghas,
It has been a long time, hope you guys are managing fine. I saw some sad posts here and i hope all are coping well.
I had just taken up a few weeks project on ship, it was very physical draining and had to work without rest day as the ship will need to move out. It was difficult to work with mask on( due to covid measurement) and basically my mask and overall was so wet that i can't breathe.😑 it has been at least 25 years i worked on such a tough job and returning to it was a bad idea. With anxiety and working in a enclosed area can be traumatising. Anyway, had finished the job and coming back to rest. Don't think i will take up another ship project, bad health is another factor.
Anyway, had chanced upon this excerpt by Ajarn Chah....not sure i am ready to go thru this( although sometimes i did)...btw, had totally stop meditating for a month i guess. Giving myself excuses because of tireness...
Overcoming Pain
Suppose you’re sitting in concentration and it really hurts. When it hurts, you come out of meditation. Then you meditate some more until you reach the point where it hurts, and then you come out again.
This is why you don’t understand suffering even though you suffer. Wherever you sit and meditate, you suffer pain. So you ask yourself, “What can I do to overcome this?” You have to make a decision: “Sit, but don’t move. Let the body die.”
You depend on what the Buddha said: Whatever arises passes away. If pain arises, why won’t it pass away? As soon as you sit, there’s nothing but pain. It hurts. It aches. Sweat starts flowing in drops as big as corn kernels. You’re about to move but you say, “Hmm. No. Let it die.” You have to take it that far—until the mind goes beyond death. The pain disappears.
Once you’ve gone beyond death, discernment arises. Confidence gets strong. You thought that you wouldn’t be able to stand it; you thought that you were about to die. This is called training yourself with a heavy hand. It’s not for general use.
After that, whenever you meditate, you understand—because you’ve seen how far the pain can go. This is called overcoming pain.
If you can’t overcome pain, then when you reach that point, you fall out of concentration. You die every time. You don’t have any strength.
You have to overcome it someday in your practice. Once you’ve overcome it, you won’t be afraid of it—because you’ve seen what it’s like. It’s like being a boxer. If you haven’t boxed in the ring, you’re afraid. Once you’ve boxed in the ring, you’re not afraid anymore, for you know what it’s like. You have to experiment with this. This is called overcoming pain.
~•~•~
It’s Like This: 108 Dhamma Similes, by Venerable Ajahn Chah, and translated by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu.
https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/ItsLikeThis/Contents.html