Author Topic: Should I stop meditating  (Read 444 times)

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Should I stop meditating
« on: May 24, 2021, 08:06:51 PM »
I am in a weird situation right now. My ambition is getting reduced. I am not able to set any goals for the future. I mean I had some of the goals in my life. But Now I hate thinking about the future. I don't wish to have any goal. Some weird things happening to me. I find I am not that much interested in the study. Like I used to be a nerd. I don't feel like I am a nerd anymore.

Also, I have read so many books. So many self-improvement books. I used to dream about the future. But everything seems to be slipping. I am afraid. I can't go back to how I was. And I am afraid to move forward. I feel I won't perform in my job and all. I am not excited about having a girlfriend. So many things I am finding meaningless. I don't know what's happening.

Any suggestion? Should I stop meditating?
« Last Edit: May 24, 2021, 08:11:33 PM by raushan »

Chaska

  • Member
  • Practicing vipassana meditation 🧘🏼‍♀️
    • Vipassana as taught by S.N. Goenka
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2021, 10:26:54 PM »
Hello Raushan

Just my experience to share because at the moment it’s funny as I am experiencing the opposite of what you said.

I use to sit 2h a day and do many 10 days and 3 days etc.. I had trouble doing goals setting and find motivation sometimes toward the future as I was very grounded in the present. In the same time I was able to see very clearly when I was acting out of alignment thanks to the sensations. My relationship with my boyfriend was great as I had more patience and kindness.

Now I stop sitting for 8 months. I have no more the awareness of sensation in my daily life. I did many self development courses and paid coaching about confidence and management etc..  I am in a very different vibe of my life. More ego oriented.
I have grown my business so much, my skills, my expertise. I have more financial freedom. In the same time I am often out of pure intentions because I am blind from my lack of practice. My relationship is doing great but I see myself projecting fears which is something I use to see during my sitting and let go.

I am not happier. I feel happy in a different way.
The source of my happiness now is more centered around outside object while 8 months ago I could center more around myself.

In fact I grew happiness out of BEING now it’s more out of ACTING.

I am grateful I had the chance to experience both state.

Probably the best from where I am now is the middle way.
As I see the endless road of my current desire state. Even tho i truly enjoy it. I know deep inside that it’s superficial and impermanent.

For me it would look like:
Being able to sit at least 1h a day
doing anapana during breaks
Continuing setting goals with great intentions and purpose
Loving myself no matter what
Practicing metta daily

Hope this could give some insight

🙏🏼
My life is a stepping stone for something bigger

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2021, 08:11:51 AM »
Thanks for your answer. It will be helpful.

Alex

  • Member
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2021, 10:27:50 AM »
Quote from: Fr. John O’Donohue in 'For the Interim Time'
You are in this time of interim
Where everything seems withheld.

The path you took to get here was washed out;
The way forward is still concealed from you.

“The old is not old enough to have died away;
The new is still too young to be born.”

You cannot lay claim to anything;
In this place of dusk,
Your eyes are blurred;
And there is no mirror.

Everyone has lost sight of your heart
And you can see nowhere to put your trust;
You know you have to make your own way through.
As far as you can, hold your confidence.
Do not allow your confusion to squander
This call which is loosening
Your roots in false ground,
That you might come free
From all you have outgrown.

What is being transfigured here is your mind,
And it is difficult and slow to become new.
The more faithfully you can endure here,
The more refined your heart will become
For your arrival in the new dawn.

Alex

  • Member
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2021, 10:36:55 AM »
I felt like I have to let go of everything in order to move forward. I guess that's why Buddha referred Dhamma as upstream which sometimes Matthew used here.

It will require a tremendous amount of courage to do that especially for people like us who are householders.

 Seems like you already answered your question ;)

Laurent

  • Member
  • don't feed the troll
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2021, 11:38:56 AM »
Hi Raushan,

It is possible that such phenomena occur on the path you follow, depression and boredom, however they should be ephemeral as the practice must be accompanied by contentment so you want to come back regularly to recharge your batteries. Does it have a deep meaning to you? Are you convinced by the value of Dhamma? What kind of thoughts ?
Aren't you too rigid in your practice trying not to think for example or other things like that?
Your practice should be a source of rejoicing, and that no longer seems to be the case.

Try to find the real cause of this situation.

With Metta.

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2021, 02:26:40 PM »
Thanks for sharing the poetry Alex. I was feeling it was directly talking to me. Couldn't have described it better.

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2021, 02:31:07 PM »
Hi Laurent,

The real cause of depression will be also in my mind. I will sure look there.

Quote


Your practice should be a source of rejoicing, and that no longer seems to be the case.


I do not believe in this statement. I personally believe that meditation can cause a great deal of pain. That's why it's hard. When you grew up in the world with a certain view, with certain beliefs, and if you begin to see how it is all lie do you feel you will be happy in that situation? Mediation can also cause a person depression for a long time. It is clearly possible. It's not ephemeral.

Siddharth

  • Member
    • unlearning, relearning and letting go
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2021, 03:13:43 PM »
Raushan, a friendly advice from my side at this point of time would be to read - "the war of art by steven pressfield"; and apply it to your daily work as well as meditation practise. It is a short read of less than 200 pages and available for free if you search for it right.

I feel it will address the core issue that I feel is causing you to  be where you are, but to avoid misunderstanding and unproductive discussion, I will not speak more about it here at this point of time.

Regards and Metta,
Siddharth
And what is good, Phædrus,
And what is not good...
Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2021, 04:25:04 PM »
Thanks for recommending. I have already read the book. I will revisit it.

Laurent

  • Member
  • don't feed the troll
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2021, 10:25:12 AM »
When you grew up in the world with a certain view, with certain beliefs, and if you begin to see how it is all lie do you feel you will be happy in that situation?

you will be happy or unhappy depending on what you believed to be true before. the tipping point is seeing that all of this is just mental constructs, and so is depression. Emptiness brings joy. What brings you annoyance are impermanent conditionalities.

Metta

dharma bum

  • Member
  • Certified Zen Master (second degree black belt)
    • vipassana
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2021, 05:05:18 PM »
When you read a book that tells you something and then you read another that tells you something else and so on, then that will be a source of confusion. So you need to figure out for yourself what is convincing to you. Nobody else can do that for you.
Mostly ignorant

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2021, 06:49:10 PM »
Thank you all for your answers.

Lerxst

  • Member
  • Busy studying
    • the satipatthanas
    • on year-long retreat
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2021, 11:48:24 AM »
Hi there.

I would not stop meditating - maybe just go back to basics and have shorter sessions for a while.

What I would also say is this: I'd stop reading the self-help books for a while to see if things get better. There is nothing wrong with books but they should be taken for what they are: just ideas. Your brain is a complex machine and with too many ideas rattling round you could lose a sense of direction.

Lack of progress for a while is quite common. Persevere, if you can, and don't worry about how it unfolds - it has a way of unfolding slowly on its own. That's my view anyway.


Dhamma

  • Member
  • May we all fulfill our deepest wish for happiness
    • Vajrayana/Qigong/Theravada
    • Everything is somehow just fine!
Re: Should I stop meditating
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2021, 02:33:29 AM »
Dear Raushan,

I am thinking of you.

Please don't loose hope. Even depression and sadness shall pass -- they are, after all, just constructs of the mind. Even depression and sadness are "empty" of inherent existence.

Emptiness in  Buddhism is not meaningless. It just means that everything depends on something else - nothing arises independently, on its own side.

Maybe add some Qigong, or yoga into the mix.  Do more body/mind exercises. Just a humble suggestion.

Just be simple in your meditation practice, maybe. Don't beat yourself up because you are having feelings you don't like. No guilt or shame to be felt.

Don't get confused by focusing on too many ideas (already mentioned above). Keep it simple and focused. Your mind is in too many places right now, all while you're wishing away certain negative emotions. BE with your negative emotions gently. Show love to yourself. Everything - and I mean everything - is somehow OKAY right now. I promise you.

Much love to you,

Dhamma  :)

« Last Edit: June 02, 2021, 02:37:47 AM by Dhamma »
May we see the emptiness of all phenomena

 

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