I am feel like when I got too serious about the meditation being aware all day. It is effecting my study. I don't know if it just the my mind telling me or is it actually true. I have seen a line by Ajahn Chah that meditation is like breathing. We can do it whole day. But I feel it's true only when we do the menial task not when we require the heavy mental task.
Hello raushan,
do not get disheartened with where you are in your practice. what I am going to say is something you already know within, but perhaps not able to bring up to your consciousness for some reason.
while meditation can be as easy as breathing, breathing itself might not be very easy for many. A baby needs to cry to fill their lungs with air. Many people suffer from issues which make breathing difficult. similarly meditation might seem easy or become easy for some after a point, but most of us suffer in different ways, and obstruct our own liberation. no point is getting disheartened. it is only the ego which "expects" meditation to be easy because ajahn chah says so, but it might not be so for you at present. If it comforts you, you are not alone. a lot of people struggle to meditate even when they are only meditating.
We are also householders, and not free of desires. infact most people who come into contact with meditation these days, are coming into it out of ambition, to find a hack into "success". hence we must be gentle with ourselves in regards to how quickly and how far we expect us to progress on the path.
Studies for you is directly related to your projection of the life you want to live ahead. It is for me. so it is very reasonable that we move out of centre when studying. partly because it is hard, and partly because we crave certain things out of it ultimately, and when we struggle with it (because it is hard at times), our future dreams that we so dearly crave start to tumble and fade.
It is better if you set aside time of the day, where you are not actively meditating, but want to do stuff and still try to be mindful. at other times you should let go of meditation and focus on the ambitious part of life without guild of mindfulness. that in my opinion is a more stable way to develop practice at this moment. aiming for meditative states all day might be biting more than you can chew from what you report.
Regards,
Siddharth