Author Topic: Fear of not reaching to destination  (Read 168 times)

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Fear of not reaching to destination
« on: January 10, 2021, 08:13:49 PM »
I sometimes get into the fearful mode that what I am doing will never lead me to ultimate arrival. Although I can see I have improved but I start having doubts in the mind. I watch sometimes Sadhguru videos. I have actually done his 1 program, Continued for 9-10 months. It was very helpful. I get into comparison mode that current isn't working the same way as the other meditation. Also when I speak with people practicing other traditions it creates doubt in my mind.

Also, I don't act the way I want myself to act in day to day life. Could you guys please throw some advice on how to get out of this doubt? This doubt become too strong sometimes.

I feel like I am transitioning between two states of mind for a few months both are at the extreme not reaching the middle-way. Please ask for clarification if required.

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Fear of not reaching to destination
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2021, 10:05:21 PM »
It's like I am clearly able to see the things I am doing is not correct. But I am not trying to correct it. It's like I don't want to correct it. But that makes me more fearful.

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
  • Member
  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: Fear of not reaching to destination
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2021, 06:28:03 PM »
Although I can see I have improved but I start having doubts in the mind.

..

I feel like I am transitioning between two states of mind for a few months both are at the extreme not reaching the middle-way. Please ask for clarification if required.

Doubt arises: we examine the nature and arising of the doubt to defeat it. Moving between extremes won't lead to a middle path.

I sometimes get into the fearful mode that what I am doing will never lead me to ultimate arrival.

You seem to be clinging to the future and to an imagined version of self in this future. It doesn't exist: a projection based in thinking, founded in mind, forged in mind. A projection borne of mistaken identity with projection of a future "you" and mistaken identity with process as solid fact.

Perhaps it is more helpful to continually bring yourself back to the present, to how you are manifesting wholesome and unwholesome qualities moment to moment in your daily life. How mindful are you when making food, doing the dishes ... washing your hands, reading a book?

Also, I don't act the way I want myself to act in day to day life.

See above!

if I have misunderstood please clarify.

In peace,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Fear of not reaching to destination
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2021, 02:49:28 AM »

Also, I don't act the way I want myself to act in day to day life.

See above!

if I have misunderstood please clarify.


Hi Matthew,

My question was in the context that, suppose if we tell our mind that we want to wake up at 6 in the morning. Why we can't do that as soon as we decide that? Why we have to go through multiple failures to form this habit? Why there are certain thoughts which have a strong grip and even after multiple tries it's difficult to overcome them?
« Last Edit: January 16, 2021, 04:19:08 AM by raushan »

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
  • Member
  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: Fear of not reaching to destination
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2021, 09:44:38 PM »
My question was in the context that, suppose if we tell our mind that we want to wake up at 6 in the morning. Why we can't do that as soon as we decide that? Why we have to go through multiple failures to form this habit? Why there are certain thoughts which have a strong grip and even after multiple tries it's difficult to overcome them?

Raushan,

The simple answer to this is that the synaptic firing patterns in the neurons in our brains are strengthened by use and weakened by absence of use. These are neurochemical and physical patterning that lay behind thought and action.

Attempting to change anything takes time and repetition: it is as true regarding changing the mind as, for example, building a regime of fitness training for the body. We have to work consistently to overcome the old patterns of neurochemistry and physical arrangement of synaptic processes and to "reprogram" the mind, both in regards to mental and physical goals.

The brain gets hard-wired over time and with repetition, yet this process and the wiring can be changed, with consistent effort to not engage in those things we wish to diminish the power of, and to engage more in those things we wish to enhance the power of.

It works on all levels: with meditation, generation of compassion, changing thinking habits, physical habits, social habits. With all these things one is engaging in reprogramming the neural/chemical networks of the mind, and during the reprogramming there is much "resistance" experienced, simply because those old patterns that we wish to change have strong connections and affinity at the beginning of the process, whilst the new patterns we wish to embody have weak connections and affinity at the beginning of the process.

It is simply a matter of applying oneself consistently to deny any further strengthening of the old habits, and applying oneself consistently to grow the new connections that will facilitate the new patterns/habits we seek to establish.

It's not rocket science, it is, as Goenka says, "brain surgery" - of a kind.

The keys are to be compassionate towards yourself, equanimous towards "success" or "failure", whilst striving diligently to make the changes we wish to make. Development of calm, concentration and insight (Shamatha, Samadhi and Vpassana) all help to make these changes speedier and easier. That's why we practice developing such qualities, so that we can become masters of the mind and not it's slave.

I hope that helps,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

Middleway

  • Member
  • Just be a witness.
    • Vipassana as taught by Mr. Goenka - Switched to Shamatha
Re: Fear of not reaching to destination
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2021, 10:31:54 PM »
Raushan,

I suggest you listen to the following Dhamma talk by Ajahn Chah. It is the most comprehensive talk I heard to date discussing the path from start to finish.

The Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah - Audiobook | Part 3 – Ch56 – The Path To Peace on Podbean, check it out!

This will clarify all your doubts. Listen to it a few times.

In the Dhamma,

Middleway
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

raushan

  • Member
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Fear of not reaching to destination
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2021, 10:17:12 AM »
Hi Middleway,

Thanks for sharing it. I listened to it once. I could relate to a few things. Will again listen later.

In Peace,

Raushan

 

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