Fear of not reaching to destination

[raushan]

I sometimes get into the fearful mode that what I am doing will never lead me to ultimate arrival. Although I can see I have improved but I start having doubts in the mind. I watch sometimes Sadhguru videos. I have actually done his 1 program, Continued for 9-10 months. It was very helpful. I get into comparison mode that current isn't working the same way as the other meditation. Also when I speak with people practicing other traditions it creates doubt in my mind.

Also, I don't act the way I want myself to act in day to day life. Could you guys please throw some advice on how to get out of this doubt? This doubt become too strong sometimes.

I feel like I am transitioning between two states of mind for a few months both are at the extreme not reaching the middle-way. Please ask for clarification if required.

[raushan]

It's like I am clearly able to see the things I am doing is not correct. But I am not trying to correct it. It's like I don't want to correct it. But that makes me more fearful.

[Matthew]

Although I can see I have improved but I start having doubts in the mind.

..

I feel like I am transitioning between two states of mind for a few months both are at the extreme not reaching the middle-way. Please ask for clarification if required.

Doubt arises: we examine the nature and arising of the doubt to defeat it. Moving between extremes won't lead to a middle path.

I sometimes get into the fearful mode that what I am doing will never lead me to ultimate arrival.

You seem to be clinging to the future and to an imagined version of self in this future. It doesn't exist: a projection based in thinking, founded in mind, forged in mind. A projection borne of mistaken identity with projection of a future "you" and mistaken identity with process as solid fact.

Perhaps it is more helpful to continually bring yourself back to the present, to how you are manifesting wholesome and unwholesome qualities moment to moment in your daily life. How mindful are you when making food, doing the dishes ... washing your hands, reading a book?

Also, I don't act the way I want myself to act in day to day life.

See above!

if I have misunderstood please clarify.

In peace,

Matthew

[raushan]

Also, I don't act the way I want myself to act in day to day life.

See above!

if I have misunderstood please clarify.

Hi Matthew,

My question was in the context that, suppose if we tell our mind that we want to wake up at 6 in the morning. Why we can't do that as soon as we decide that? Why we have to go through multiple failures to form this habit? Why there are certain thoughts which have a strong grip and even after multiple tries it's difficult to overcome them?