I am letting it be as it is, but it stays sh,it!

[Username]

What do I do now because ive tried just letting it be as it is, and I really mean it for a long time just let it be rubbish however it stays rubbish.

I know you are meant to pretend thats ok but obviouly its not teh result we are trying to get when we start this whole meditation practice

[raushan]

Your question is vague.

1. First specify exactly what kind of meditation you are doing? Not all meditations are the same. Not every meditation bears the same fruit. Here most of the people do Samatha meditation (link is on the home page).

2. When you say rubbish what do you mean by it? What exactly you are feeling? You have some wrong understanding of meditation. That is clear. In the last thread when I asked you to read a book you didn't have time for that. I guess you are doing mostly google searches and having your own interpretation.

[Alex]

What to do when you discover that what you expect from meditation is not actually happening?

Don’t consider it a problem, this is actually progress… you’re learning… and you can look more closely to learn (or unlearn) more. The people here can also help you by pointing out areas that require more careful attention or consideration, based upon their experience and understanding, but in order to do so - as Raushan suggest – it would definitely be helpful if you’re more specific about your practice and what you’re encountering in your practice.

Based on what you write, maybe the following is helpful...

... however it stays rubbish.

‘Rubbish’ may reflect some mental reactivity, maybe aversion? If so, a research question might then become “How to be mindful of aversion?” or “How to handle aversion when it arises?”

I know you are meant to pretend thats ok

Being okay with an unpleasant experience is not about pretending; it comes from acceptance, wisdom, equanimity all of which are the fruits of meditation. Knowing how this body-mind works, tapping into the wonderful functioning of our nervous system, knowing how to “shift gears” into safety mode, that’s also why Raushan is referring to the ‘calm abiding’-meditation on the homepage.
Maybe then the reaction of aversion is inhibiting the experiencing and cultivation of calm? The research question might then become "How can I relate to the experience of aversion in a way that promotes calm?"

I wish you an interesting 2021!
 

[mobius]

If one thinks one's life is rubbish there are different possibilities, keeping in mind, this is merely a judgment, relative, subjective and ever changing. (One day things seem good, the next bad, while often less changes than we think in our actual overall well-being or goals etc.)

1) one's life is actually rubbish. In that case we need to do something about it; get a new job; do something about a troubled relationship etc. That is; attempt to solve the problem.

2) Sometimes you can't solve the problem. Things are bad but you can't do anything about it. Natural disaster, death etc. In this case feeling bad doesn't do you any good anyway. So why continue to cling to negative emotion?

3) Things are not really as bad as they seem. When we're in a bad mood, for one reason or another; we can make our own lives seem and actually be far more painful than it has to be. Conversely; even when things are very bad; we can make our mood far nicer and happier. This takes a lot of practice and experience to see. And going further from there takes even more.

Regarding your second comment; I don't think we're supposed to be pretending anything. If things seem bad; something's obviously wrong and action/change needs to be taken.

[dharma bum]

I know you are meant to pretend thats ok but obviouly its not teh result we are trying to get when we start this whole meditation practice

Sometimes there is a tendency to desire the results so much that it interferes with the practice. Or it may be that the expectations are that you will be cured of all problems right away. If it were that easy, then everybody would be free very soon. Change actually is slow and gradual. One must meditate with the mindset that change will be slow, much like going for a walk everyday. You don't become fit overnight.

But there are immediate benefits of meditation too. In the middle of super-busy lives, just sitting and just breathing has benefits. Sometimes there are benefits without us being aware of them.