Guided meditation experience - what was this, can I repeat it?

[muse99]

I had a guided meditation experience. I'm not really a meditation person, I usually either fall asleep or just start getting creative ideas for work or something, I don't use it that often for anything spiritual.

But anyway I was doing this meditation to experience ones own consciousness (it was in a video I was watching) and at the time I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't tired but my energy was low. So I started to feel very peaceful and then I started to feel quite weird like I was going somewhere I really didn't want to be ( I can only explain it like that feeling where you don't want to look at yourself, like shame or fear or something) and I felt like I was slightly falling but I didn't have the energy to fight it and I just went with it and I realized that consciousness was all around me, inside me and everywhere - it was in everything, and I wasn't alone and no one on the planet was alone and I started laughing because it was so funny that none of us realized and then I started crying because I had been spending my life chasing something/ missing something that I already had. And basically I was alternatively laughing/crying for about 10 minutes and I still cry when I think about it days later.

So basically my question is, have you guys experienced this - or do you know what it is? And how do I repeat it? I've tried to meditate each day after but I can't seem to 'let go' like I did when I experienced it.

[Alex]

Experiences of ‘letting go’, or ‘falling away of conventional boundaries of awareness’ (or however you want to call it) come in many shapes and colors.
Did you ‘make’ this experience happen? If not, then maybe it’s not something you can make happen?

In your words I also read an interesting insight that what we’re looking for is actually already here. An interesting question might then be... if you're trying to repeat something or make something happen, will that bring you ‘here’ or ‘there’? Maybe it's an illusion then that 'there' is something to achieve?

[muse99]

I have done some further research about what type of meditation it may have been but I've come to the conclusion that, I'm not sure I did make it happen, I think I just happened to be in the right space at the right time for this to occur. And I do keep reminding myself that I'm already 'home' (the feeling was very much like, belonging and feeling home) but that for whatever reason I can't sense it strongly like I did. I also don't think I can force a repeat of the experience. So I guess I'm on a meditation journey now 

[Alex]

So I guess I'm on a meditation journey now 

Hehe... Welcome to the club, I wish you well on your journey!

[stillpointdancer]

I have done some further research about what type of meditation it may have been but I've come to the conclusion that, I'm not sure I did make it happen, I think I just happened to be in the right space at the right time for this to occur. And I do keep reminding myself that I'm already 'home' (the feeling was very much like, belonging and feeling home) but that for whatever reason I can't sense it strongly like I did. I also don't think I can force a repeat of the experience. So I guess I'm on a meditation journey now 

I think that experience of 'being home' is one of the great experiences of meditation. You have to experience it to understand, and it was one of the things that kept my practice going over the years.

[muse99]

I cannot speak about it, without getting choked up... its so difficult to describe, but it felt like somewhere I missed, somewhere I belonged and felt at home.

One good thing about it, is that my suicide ideation feelings have gone... why do I need to go anywhere when everything I've wanted is with me all the time?

I haven't missed a day of meditation yet - and I've been trying to use it when I feel emotional etc. I'm glad I have ppl to talk to about it tho.

[Dhamma]

I cannot speak about it, without getting choked up... its so difficult to describe, but it felt like somewhere I missed, somewhere I belonged and felt at home.

One good thing about it, is that my suicide ideation feelings have gone... why do I need to go anywhere when everything I've wanted is with me all the time?

I haven't missed a day of meditation yet - and I've been trying to use it when I feel emotional etc. I'm glad I have ppl to talk to about it tho.

May you fulfill your deepest wish for happiness.

Peace and enlightenment.