Author Topic: Dating and the path  (Read 117 times)

yonski3

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Dating and the path
« on: November 22, 2020, 01:20:36 PM »
I been reflecting on this subject for a while. as a single man and someone who follow Buddhist teaching and practice Vipassana the topic of my own dating life bothers and conflicts me.

I can see how much suffering, craving, attachment, anxiety and many other negative things dating and trying to date women brings into my life.

It does also brings "positive"  feelings into my life such as excitement and connection for example, but according to the teaching those "positive" feeling are simply another form of suffering as they are bound to go away, change, etc.

The deeper I look into it, I am wondering, why I am not quitting the effort of dating and trying to find someone all together ?

I am not ready to be a monk and have no real desire to do that, but maybe living a life of a monk as  householder is the answer?

I wanted to ask the community here, did any of you abounded the desire in the opposite sex and simply focus on the path, friendships and living a wholesome life ?

Middleway

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  • Just be a witness.
    • Vipassana as taught by Mr. Goenka - Switched to Shamatha
Re: Dating and the path
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2020, 11:43:33 PM »
I wanted to ask the community here, did any of you abounded the desire in the opposite sex and simply focus on the path, friendships and living a wholesome life ?

It is easier said than done. We are fighting millions of years of evolutionary conditioning. Some don’t feel the conditioning and they easily choose and live the life of monk. Others who have a strong conditioning, they will have to taste the bitterness all the way before they can let go.

Don’t fight it. People who fight it, just suppress it and it always is lurking around. Look at all those so-called monks / yogis and their sex scandals.
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Nicky

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    • Pali
Re: Dating and the path
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2020, 12:09:48 PM »
Some don’t feel the conditioning ...

Its about view. A certain view cuts thru it.

someone who follow Buddhist teaching

Its unlikely the above is following Buddhist teaching. Buddhist teaching never refers to "dating".

Middleway

  • Member
  • Just be a witness.
    • Vipassana as taught by Mr. Goenka - Switched to Shamatha
Re: Dating and the path
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2020, 03:00:31 AM »
Some don’t feel the conditioning ...

Its about view. A certain view cuts thru it.

What view? Please can you elaborate? Thanks in advance.
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Dating and the path
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2020, 06:56:22 PM »
someone who follow Buddhist teaching

Its unlikely the above is following Buddhist teaching. Buddhist teaching never refers to "dating".

But in today's world especially in western society won't people have to date in order to get married or have children (Someone who wants to follow Buddhist teaching but if they aren't ready to become a monk).

 

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