Author Topic: Eating again...  (Read 84 times)

milco

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  • Closer each day
Eating again...
« on: October 14, 2020, 07:40:20 PM »
I think I'm eating again. Excessively.

I put on half a stone earlier in the year when the first lockdown happened in the UK. I think this was probably due to the slow drip of general anxiety along with this nagging feeling of loss and dread. Liverpool, the city that I am from, has just locked down again and the main hospital is once more nearly full to capacity with Covid patients.

This evening, for the first time, a thought suddenly popped into my head: when all this madness is over, will I find that some friends have just fallen by the wayside. Will the passage of time mean that people quietly, almost unseen, drift away. Like they did in the past for whatever reason. Will the landscape of friendships and family just look different on the other side....in a year, eighteen months, whenever.

Crisps, biscuits, chocolate, cake...comfort eating. Alcohol. The odd low mood. I think it is slowly starting again.

stillpointdancer

  • stillpointdancer
  • Member
  • Retired teacher, deepening understanding of Dharma
    • Insight meditation
    • Exploring the results of 30 years of meditating
Re: Eating again...
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2020, 11:46:35 AM »
I think we all go through different emotions and behaviours. I've been in lockdown here in the Midlands since March as we are both shielding each other. Our families are rather perplexed that we haven't been round to see them or let them come round here. Am missing my grandchildren growing up and have never seen the latest one in real life, so to speak. On the other hand I keep reminding people that we are living through the kind of pandemic we have only read about in history books, and should learn from history, not repeat it.

Luckily I am retired so don't have to go out to work, but it must be a much darker time for those who have to be out and about amongst people who refuse to take it all seriously enough to do what they need to help themselves and, just as importantly, help others stay safe. I'm not depressed about being in lockdown but I am depressed that I am living amongst people who can't adjust their lives for a while.

The only word of comfort I can offer is that there are people here who will always listen to whatever you want to talk about. We care and are with you as much as we can be.

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Eating again...
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2020, 02:32:50 PM »
Hi milco,

Life is difficult. It's hard to be in full control of oneself. But I would say there is only one way you have to keep fighting. However little you can fight but don't completely give up. Things will change. As Buddha says This too shall pass.

"If you are going through hell keep going." - Winston Churchill.

Force yourself to do as little exercise as possible. If the gym is closed do it at the home. Anxiety, fear all these are emotions using which mind trick us to do things we don't want. Eating more food is an escape mechanism to avoid those emotions. Instead of avoiding those learn to be aware of them during a meditation session.

These are time when you can make yourself more stronger. Adversity is a good thing in one way.

milco

  • Member
  • Closer each day
Re: Eating again...
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2020, 02:39:17 PM »
I think we all go through different emotions and behaviours. I've been in lockdown here in the Midlands since March as we are both shielding each other. Our families are rather perplexed that we haven't been round to see them or let them come round here. Am missing my grandchildren growing up and have never seen the latest one in real life, so to speak. On the other hand I keep reminding people that we are living through the kind of pandemic we have only read about in history books, and should learn from history, not repeat it.

Luckily I am retired so don't have to go out to work, but it must be a much darker time for those who have to be out and about amongst people who refuse to take it all seriously enough to do what they need to help themselves and, just as importantly, help others stay safe. I'm not depressed about being in lockdown but I am depressed that I am living amongst people who can't adjust their lives for a while.

The only word of comfort I can offer is that there are people here who will always listen to whatever you want to talk about. We care and are with you as much as we can be.

Thanks, SPD. It's a bit of a rollercoaster, isn't it? Not having an 'exit date' when this will all be over is difficult. All the political shenanigans and general air of governmental incompetence just adds another layer of grief and frustration to the whole situation.

I suppose last night my thoughts suddenly 'zeroed in' on not seeing friends and the possibility of the slow drift of losing contact with people over time. Then this morning one of my What's App groups suddenly exploded into life with various absent friends all suddenly appearing from nowhere full of the joys of spring!

...like I say, a rollercoaster.

I honestly don't know where I would be without the stabilising and grounding effects of meditation. A basket case, I should imagine! ::)

Anyway, thanks for your very thoughtful and sanguine response. It's appreciated.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2020, 03:01:12 PM by milco »

milco

  • Member
  • Closer each day
Re: Eating again...
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2020, 02:59:02 PM »
Hi milco,

Life is difficult. It's hard to be in full control of oneself. But I would say there is only one way you have to keep fighting. However little you can fight but don't completely give up. Things will change. As Buddha says This too shall pass.

"If you are going through hell keep going." - Winston Churchill.

Force yourself to do as little exercise as possible. If the gym is closed do it at the home. Anxiety, fear all these are emotions using which mind trick us to do things we don't want. Eating more food is an escape mechanism to avoid those emotions. Instead of avoiding those learn to be aware of them during a meditation session.

These are time when you can make yourself more stronger. Adversity is a good thing in one way.

Thanks, Raushan. I will do as Winston Churchill says and keep going! I need a sense of perspective that when things look very bleak there is still a way forward.

Low mood dupes you into thinking that depression is your natural state...your 'default' mode. Any other more positive mental state is a delusion, a puffed up, temporary affectation. That is how I felt last night and that is how I always feel when I am down. Fortunately I have 'let it pass', as you say, and can see a bit clearer now.  8)

 

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