Author Topic: Keep my mind stable after mugging attempt  (Read 122 times)

Nicolas

  • Member
    • Vipassana in the Goenka tradition
Keep my mind stable after mugging attempt
« on: June 24, 2020, 03:39:29 PM »
Hi everyone!

I had a bad experience last night, when somebody (who I was helping find directions) tried to rob me in plain sight. Though it was night, I was absolutely not prepared for it (I live in a small, quiet village) so I was almost paralyzed when I saw he was trying to reach for the guitar case I was carrying with me, and he just smiled mockingly and left.

Fortunately I have not suffered any injury nor did he actually manage to steal anything, but I was afraid until I arrived safely home. I felt lucky since he was with other people, who could easily have ganged up on me had they wanted to, since no one else was in sight. I have meditated twice since, and have experienced greater mental disturbance and difficulty to concentrate, my mind coming back to the event and what could have happened. This morning, going outside in broad daylight, I felt anxiety when crossing strangers' path, a bit paranoid at the idea somebody could try to attack me, as though I was an animal being hunted.

I feel like I can see what the incident can teach me about my mind/reaction (I have a strong attachment to my guitar and physical security, I was unprepared when somebody took advantage of my kindness, and I feel like my personal being has been attacked), but it is hard to keep observing my emotions, be relaxed and not coming back to the event. I also feel grudge against the assaulter, and sometimes I am overtaken by the desire to have responded violently to him. Do any of you have tips or have had a similar experience?

Thank you  :)

dharma bum

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  • Certified Zen Master (second degree black belt)
    • vipassana
Re: Keep my mind stable after mugging attempt
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2020, 03:47:15 PM »
When I have an experience like that, I say to myself - what's the worst thing that could have happened to me? I would have lost my guitar. Is that really such a big deal?

Then I think about people who lose everything in events like tsunamis, random events of accidents. Many get murdered, many have thing happen to them for no fault of their's. Many people get killed because of their race or something like that.

I don't mean to add to your PTSD :) but I try to use bad events as training for even more serious suffering that is sure to come my way in future. So in a way I welcome these relatively small incidents. I don't always succeed, but it is one way of coping.
Mostly ignorant

Dhamma

  • Member
  • Who are you?
    • I practice Vipassana meditation + mental noting (mostly Theravadan)
Re: Keep my mind stable after mugging attempt
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2020, 07:03:17 PM »
@ OP:

Be aware of all the sensations in your body when you think of this traumatic event.  Really feel it.  Stay grounded in your body.  While observing, don't judge sensations and good or bad --- just *be* with them. Over time, things will get clearer, and you will process it all with more peace.

I was bullied in a non-violent  way over a period of life of my adult life by a non-family member.  The mind games were sick and twisted, leaving me feeling terrible and hopeless. Still, after all my meditations, the same feelings of hopelessness over the situation wash over me, even though the situation is far in the distance past.  But what has changed? My relationship to the feelings: they are now short-lived, and I can also "see" through them for what they really are: just feelings felt in my body from thinking. I don't feel as much as a slave to them; after all, these terrible feelings are completely harmless in the end. My reaction to them has always been the problem (reactive mind).

Just "be" with your feelings (don't fight or encourage). Learn to find pure conscious awareness, where all is find and peaceful, and where we are at peace with all phenomena as they arise.

This all works, dear friend. You just have to practice it, and stay with it. You just can't practice a week or a month, and then quit. No!

May we all see clearly ultimate reality, and may we all be free from suffering.

With much love in the Dharma,

Dhamma

 

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