Author Topic: Newbie with questions  (Read 909 times)

marcodisco

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Newbie with questions
« on: January 30, 2020, 07:52:37 PM »
Hi everybody!
I'm a newbie really happy that discovered meditation! I'm meditating since around 4 months and in the last 2 I practice 1 hour per day in two session of half an hour.
I'm pretty satisfied about by my sessions, but as newbie I don't know exactly what I'm doing or supposed to get out of that.
I feel I need someone to give me some advises, I'll try to don't be messy and make it short and clear.I have to say sorry in advance if I'm using wrong terms, please forgive me.

Meditation became a key point of my life, I saw the benefits since the begin, I'm more calm, no anxiety and I can dive into things easily
I can even listen the music better, more sounds, more focused.
And on top of that I like to meditate.

I don't know anybody that meditates, so I started and learned by myself, I wasn't happy about what I found online till I stumbled upon the app Waking Up by Sam Harris. I think that he makes a mix between vipassana and mindfulness, maybe Is not good but for me as a newbie gave me the imprint and then I could practice on my own.

My session are around 30/40 minutes, lately with open eyes even if I think that I reach a "higher" status with them closed. Since a couple of months I can easily feel my breathe, my body tingling and vibrating, the first times I got scared and I read in this forum that is pretty normal, nowadays I think I got used to. It's still more difficult to feel the head.
During the session I have some glimpses of "peace" a moment when the voice in my head fades away and I can just feel the body and the sounds. It lasts for a little while (I don't know exactly), and then restart the "struggle", or better the presence of the thoughts that sometimes I can see without "getting involved".

Once in a while my spine straights on it's own and I keep the position without any effort, and today I swung for the first time. For me those are completely new and super exiting things, not just for the moment that happen but as I said for what is "left" afterwards.

I have a lot of questions, but mostly I would like to understand if I'm doing "right" or "wrong" (I know there no right or wrong in meditation, even if I didn't get why  ::))

So just 2 to give me an hint:

1. what I called the state of "peace" is it normal that lasts for a while? Even if lately looks lasting more
2. is it better to have a session (morning for me it's better) of 45 minutes instead of two of 30 minutes?

I'm open to any advice, indication, tip to step forward.

Thanks in advance

eatyhappy2000

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2020, 08:56:01 PM »
Whenever you have these states of 'peace' where your 'voices' go and fade away, your spine straightens on it's own and you feel nothing but your breath and what's around you; oftentimes I would find myself thinking "Wow, that's amazing" and then you get roped back into the 'struggle' as you put it. The idea about meditation is to try your best to continue to focus on your breath. If those moments of bliss are lasting longer, it means you're able to keep your attention to your breath and surroundings for longer and that's a good sign if you ask me.

As for your question about which session is better, it really does depend on what you think works better for you. Do you think  that two 30 minute sessions would be easier than doing one 45 minute one in your particular case? If you're unsure, try both and see which one works best for you

Siddharth

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2020, 02:45:08 AM »
Try not to get too attached to one state of being from another, the fundamentals of it is to be mindful and equanimous regardless of what you encounter within you.  What you are describing is most likely a relatively deeper state of relaxation than one has in day-to-day life. Do not create cravings for that state or aversion for other states.

with Metta,
Siddharth
And what is good, Phædrus,
And what is not good...
Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?

stillpointdancer

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2020, 11:38:29 AM »
Hi everybody!

I have a lot of questions, but mostly I would like to understand if I'm doing "right" or "wrong" (I know there no right or wrong in meditation, even if I didn't get why  ::))

So just 2 to give me an hint:

1. what I called the state of "peace" is it normal that lasts for a while? Even if lately looks lasting more
2. is it better to have a session (morning for me it's better) of 45 minutes instead of two of 30 minutes?

I'm open to any advice, indication, tip to step forward.

Meditation is something I think everyone should know how to do, but there should always be a warning attached in that it really does work. This sounds good, as long as you thoroughly understand what it can do, the problems which may arise, and the whole range of strategies open to you. Even then it's best to be able to meditate with others who have a lot of experience and can advise you.

Like you I kind of experimented with meditation for a number of years by myself, but didn't expect the kind of changes it brought and certainly didn't expect to end up as a Buddhist. I was lucky in that the Buddhist centre near me was very welcoming and in the years I went there helped me develop my practice. Most important was placing the development of a couple of basic meditations, mindfulness of breathing and Metta Bhavana, in the context of a developmental path.

To return to your first question the feeling of peace can be anything from the benefits of just sitting and relaxing to developing a different relationship with your thoughts. When you meditate, stuff happens and the feeling of peace is one of the good things, but, like all feelings, may be fairly transient. If something else happens it is useful to know that these other things are pretty normal for people who meditate over a long period of time, and nothing to worry about overmuch.

As to the second question it really doesn't matter. What does matter is that the meditation sessions are regular, whether every day or once every few days. Over the months and years this regular practice will make the difference, whether it is for forty minutes or ten minutes a session, or whatever suits you.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

marcodisco

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2020, 05:34:54 PM »
Thanks Siddharth, eatyhappy2000 and stillpointdancer for the reply.

Try not to get too attached to one state of being from another, the fundamentals of it is to be mindful and equanimous regardless of what you encounter within you.  What you are describing is most likely a relatively deeper state of relaxation than one has in day-to-day life. Do not create cravings for that state or aversion for other states.

I think I got what do you say. Let it happend and apply it to your day life. At least is the way I like to see it.

If something else happens it is useful to know that these other things are pretty normal for people who meditate over a long period of time, and nothing to worry about overmuch.

For example this evening I had to stop the meditation after 15-20 mintues, cause my back straighted and moved back till I fell. I retried but no way to keep the position.
I had a hypnoteraphy session two days ago, and today is a really weird day. I really didn't want to meditate, but seemed I was enjoing anyhow, this to me looked like something that stopped me. But well is just rambling.

Did it happen to someone?

Thanks again

ItsBetterThanTV

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2020, 05:05:45 AM »
Hi everybody!

I have a lot of questions, but mostly I would like to understand if I'm doing "right" or "wrong" (I know there no right or wrong in meditation, even if I didn't get why  ::))

So just 2 to give me an hint:

1. what I called the state of "peace" is it normal that lasts for a while? Even if lately looks lasting more
2. is it better to have a session (morning for me it's better) of 45 minutes instead of two of 30 minutes?

I'm open to any advice, indication, tip to step forward.

Meditation is something I think everyone should know how to do, but there should always be a warning attached in that it really does work. This sounds good, as long as you thoroughly understand what it can do, the problems which may arise, and the whole range of strategies open to you. Even then it's best to be able to meditate with others who have a lot of experience and can advise you.

Like you I kind of experimented with meditation for a number of years by myself, but didn't expect the kind of changes it brought and certainly didn't expect to end up as a Buddhist. I was lucky in that the Buddhist centre near me was very welcoming and in the years I went there helped me develop my practice. Most important was placing the development of a couple of basic meditations, mindfulness of breathing and Metta Bhavana, in the context of a developmental path.

To return to your first question the feeling of peace can be anything from the benefits of just sitting and relaxing to developing a different relationship with your thoughts. When you meditate, stuff happens and the feeling of peace is one of the good things, but, like all feelings, may be fairly transient. If something else happens it is useful to know that these other things are pretty normal for people who meditate over a long period of time, and nothing to worry about overmuch.

As to the second question it really doesn't matter. What does matter is that the meditation sessions are regular, whether every day or once every few days. Over the months and years this regular practice will make the difference, whether it is for forty minutes or ten minutes a session, or whatever suits you.

This made me laugh alot, what are the down sides you experienced or that can be experienced I didnt think there were any!?

stillpointdancer

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    • Exploring the results of 30 years of meditating
Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2020, 12:45:58 PM »
Hi ItsBetterThanTV. Like I say, I think most people could benefit from meditation, but everyone who starts should understand that it works and things happen. In terms of scientific proof it seems that new brain cells are formed in the Hippocampus area of the brain and these migrate to different parts of the brain. This happens in many learning situations, but over the years meditation practices have developed to take advantage of this, even if the people didn't understand what was happening.

In addition to new brain cells, new pathways in the brain are developed and expanded and others shrink and become less used. Again, Buddhist meditation, together with following the path, helps you develop in ways that you want, rather than leaving things to chance, as happens in normal everyday life.

Along the way other things happen in an experiential sense, as a result of changes going on. You can experience happiness or great sadness, issues you thought well buried or forgotten can suddenly pop up to the surface to be dealt with again, or even, and I have personal experience of this, you can 'see' things which aren't really there (it was some kind of demon creature in my case, which amused me greatly but others might have had a different reaction).

Whatever happens is really in your head and the result of what you are doing, but it's good to have experienced meditators around in case it happens to you, if only to reassure you. Eventually things settle down again if you just carry on meditating. Of course it may be that nothing of the sort happens, but it's best to be forewarned in case it does, and for me the benefits far outweigh any negatives.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

ItsBetterThanTV

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2020, 06:20:15 AM »
stillpointdancer, wow thanks bro , so long as i dont stop liking women everything will be ok, have u ever noticed the difference with women do women find calm happy more confident ,men attractive ? Whjats your experience in terms of the effect it has on them?

Yea i wouldnt mind joining a club thanks so much for your help bro!!!!

stillpointdancer

  • stillpointdancer
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    • Exploring the results of 30 years of meditating
Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2020, 12:03:33 PM »
stillpointdancer, wow thanks bro , so long as i dont stop liking women everything will be ok, have u ever noticed the difference with women do women find calm happy more confident ,men attractive ? Whjats your experience in terms of the effect it has on them?

Yea i wouldnt mind joining a club thanks so much for your help bro!!!!

It's a interesting question. On the one hand women, if you have to classify them, are often more perceptive as to subtle changes and behaviours. My wife could always spot someone who also went to the Buddhist Centre, but couldn't really explain why. Whether it made them more attractive is a different matter. Will you still like women? Again, an interesting question. If you pursue mindfulness then maybe you become more mindful of relationships, of the individual person you may be attracted to, and maybe see their attractiveness in a different way.

My main answer is that meditation has many benefits, but unless you are looking for lower blood pressure and less stress in your life the actual outcomes aren't specific ones. To meditate for a narrow purpose isn't so much meditation as wishful thinking but is something which may, depending on how long you keep up the meditation practice, bring about changes that weren't part of your original plan. If, and this is a big if, it stopped you finding women attractive you really wouldn't care.

An example I can give from personal experience is drinking alcohol. Before taking up meditation and then Buddhism I enjoyed going out and having a drink, even that one too many. There came a time when I couldn't stand the after-effects of drinking as I found I couldn't meditate properly for days afterwards, and stopped the overindulgence overnight. As time went on I reached the state I am in today. I can still enjoy the odd drink, but don't feel the need to carry on after the first glass.

Obviously it led to some changes as I didn't go out drinking, and didn't have the same social life which went with it. I guess I lost out on that, but gained more by way of compensation. I prefer to live with the improved quality of my experience of life that with what I had before, even if it did mean I lost contact with some people.

If this sounds a bit too negative for you, let me explain. I used to be a teacher and long ago realised that a lot of what I was teaching might only show up later in the lives of the children in my class. Likewise I would rather people not take up meditation if they aren't ready for it, but keep my advice in mind and maybe take it up in five or ten years when they are. Hope this helps.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

dharma bum

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2020, 09:34:17 PM »
People who epitomize goodness, which is what meditation is suppose to lead to, such as people like Buddha, Gandhi, Jesus, Mother Teresa were all celibate. :)

The biological impulse for mating banks on the ability to look after your mate and offspring. Competitiveness and aggression are assets in the male. IMO meditation is not likely to make anybody a babe-magnet. :)
« Last Edit: February 05, 2020, 09:39:25 PM by dharma bum »
Mostly ignorant

raushan

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2020, 09:39:58 PM »
Yes this is true. The Competitiveness and aggressiveness is more attracting factor for a women. But at the same time managing your emotion and keeping calm can come handy in the later stage of your relationship which is equally important.  Also calm person look more confident. An anxious person is unlikely to attract a women.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2020, 09:49:20 PM by raushan »

Mert

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2020, 11:07:55 AM »
People who epitomize goodness, which is what meditation is suppose to lead to, such as people like Buddha, Gandhi, Jesus, Mother Teresa were all celibate. :)

The biological impulse for mating banks on the ability to look after your mate and offspring. Competitiveness and aggression are assets in the male. IMO meditation is not likely to make anybody a babe-magnet. :)

This has nothing to do with holiness of the celibacy. Meditation eventually makes you a psychopath, the manipulative "goodness" is the evangelistic side of the Buddhism. There's a saying "Aklın yolu birdir", roughly translated as "The path of the mind is one."

dharma bum

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2020, 05:37:09 PM »
Quote
This has nothing to do with holiness of the celibacy. Meditation eventually makes you a psychopath, the manipulative "goodness" is the evangelistic side of the Buddhism. There's a saying "Aklın yolu birdir", roughly translated as "The path of the mind is one."

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here especially about the 'manipulative goodness' bit. Not trying to be argumentative here - just asking.
Mostly ignorant

Matthew

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2020, 08:21:21 PM »
Quote
This has nothing to do with holiness of the celibacy. Meditation eventually makes you a psychopath, the manipulative "goodness" is the evangelistic side of the Buddhism. There's a saying "Aklın yolu birdir", roughly translated as "The path of the mind is one."

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here especially about the 'manipulative goodness' bit. Not trying to be argumentative here - just asking.

Those who are acting "spiritually" but have not "done what has to be done" may carry deeply disturbing psychopathy. Mother Theresa, for example, was no saint. Children in her orphanages were ordered tied to their beds to control them. This is unwholesome behaviour driven by a deep wound to her ego. Psychopathic? I don't know. Though I did meet her once briefly, in Calcutta, and though the conversation was short, left feeling perturbed by her. It was before the scandal broke.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2020, 07:19:31 AM by Matthew »
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

Happy Sumo

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Re: Newbie with questions
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2020, 10:30:53 AM »
If it feels right, you are doing it right. When you are in a meditative state, connected with you subconsciousness and you know what you feel is the truth, who's gonna tell you you are not doing it correctly?

:)
Health Benefits of practicing Mindfulness - A guide for busy people and beginners: https://bit.ly/2y8kvoM

 

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