Author Topic: No feeling  (Read 69 times)

BigIdiotSmallGenius

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No feeling
« on: March 10, 2019, 09:04:34 PM »
Hi guys, new to the forum. Brief background came across meditation years ago during my teens and it saved me going down the path of becoming a criminal. I always use meditation as a reset button to unplug and recover from work etc. Anyway, I've joined this forum to learn more and take things more seriously.


Anyway, I've always had an issue of feeling emotions. What I think I have sounds exactly like alexithymia, except I am not autistic and I am very good at reading other peoples emotions and mental states. I used to be able to feel when I was young, but at age 16 my heart suddenly felt like a rock. I couldn't feel affective empathy nor can I feel my own emotions. I am immune to fear but have an addiction to stimulation, my addiction to entertainment, self-pleasure needs addressing which is why I am trying to take Vipassana more seriously.

I have heard there are 4 basic realities one could meditate on, body, feeling, mind and mental states. I am thoroughly aware of body(I exercise a lot) and mental states and meditate regularly to command the mind. I have never had a rising of emotion yet.

I'd be really grateful if anyone has any insight to this? Thank you for your attention

stillpointdancer

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Re: No feeling
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2019, 10:55:51 AM »

Anyway, I've always had an issue of feeling emotions. What I think I have sounds exactly like alexithymia, except I am not autistic and I am very good at reading other peoples emotions and mental states. I used to be able to feel when I was young, but at age 16 my heart suddenly felt like a rock. I couldn't feel affective empathy nor can I feel my own emotions. I am immune to fear but have an addiction to stimulation, my addiction to entertainment, self-pleasure needs addressing which is why I am trying to take Vipassana more seriously.

I have heard there are 4 basic realities one could meditate on, body, feeling, mind and mental states. I am thoroughly aware of body(I exercise a lot) and mental states and meditate regularly to command the mind. I have never had a rising of emotion yet.

This sounds a little contradictory, so I need to ask a few questions. I don't understand how you could be addicted to stimulation if you can't feel emotions? If you feel a need for speed, as it were, isn't that feeling? Do you get hurt if people insult you or belittle you or reject you? Maybe a way into meditating about feelings is to explore different definitions and how they might apply in your everyday life.

Maybe start with something like what happens when someone punches you in the face. What is it that arises in the next instant? Is it pain, anger, or what? What about the next few seconds. Do you feel anger, or do you turn the other cheek, or what? I'm not trying to trivialise things but give you a way in to what sounds like a real problem for you.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

Laurent

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Re: No feeling
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2019, 08:25:15 PM »
Hello and welcome,

It is not necessary to feel emotions to meditate. You just have to consider reality you experiment. Actually, Satipatthana Sutta which you seem to refer, advise mindfulness to four aspects : body (kaya), sensations (vedana), mind (citta) and what is called "dhamma"- this last one may be read in various means. To some people, the word"dhamma" refers to the teaching while for some others, it is about mental contents (correlation between both being possible).
So, there is not really meditations about emotions. Emotions like anger, joy and others are rather productions with both citta and vedana.

Regards.