Author Topic: how do you gauge your progress ? do you journal ?  (Read 772 times)

Siddharth

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    • unlearning, relearning and letting go
how do you gauge your progress ? do you journal ?
« on: August 12, 2018, 12:29:18 PM »
Sometimes my 20 year old self surprises me. Can't say that I have come a long way in the past 2 years, but i have made some progress.


"
Who am I ?

I am a mimic, an actor at my heart. I act strong because I was told that I am, smart because I was told that I am. Now I find my strength and vices because I see vices and strength of other. I need to self reflect more, meditate more, know myself more, come to my core. In fact I feel that I am "realizing" this now after regularly attempting to meditate is in itself a proof that going inwards will guide me better; to both, what I can do better and what my calling is.

The above came to my mind today, when in some good company I realized that my lack of social skills, introvert nature and entitlement of being someone great has led me to miss out on the simplest of things : information and guidance, along with everything that comes on with doing stuff in college outside of the room (some like to call is as personal development but my entitlement issues let me believe I don't need "personal development", no wonder why I always am reading self help books !!).

One of the most important thing that I realized is that unless and until I am constantly reviewing my choices and actions, I end up doing things that I regret in very very near future. What this signifies is that me being a mimic, I do what others are doing around me and also do not have personal values or rules to do things. Now being around people who are not exactly the best when it comes to being achievers or having higher level of consciousness, I find myself infected with routines that are way off sync with things that I think for myself.

Now I can't change the people around me at this point in college (or can I ?), but I can have very clear rules as I did in 3rd semester in order to be in control of my life(or at least have such an illusion) and not regret the choices that I make later. At the same time being with great people around charges me up, keeps me at my toes and makes me work more (I mean it is 5 am in the morning and my friends are working on the project we have to submit tomorrow while I am writing this sitting next to them without them knowing !)

When I am alone in my room, I tend to not do things systematically, get anxious easily and revert to consuming content rather than creating or learning to create content (cool way to say I open facebook, youtube and reddit).

"
written on 26th april 2016

In some moments, we are able to become more honest to ourselves than we normally are. Do you guys journal your thoughts when you feel.. "inspired" ?

what are the parameters that help you measure your progress ?
I try to gauge myself with my ability to deal with things i considered my weaknesses in my journal or loops of behaviour that i fall into in life consistently which also i am not always aware of, but come to re-realise while reading my old journals sometimes..

And what is good, Phædrus,
And what is not good...
Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?

raushan

  • Staff
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: how do you gauge your progress ? do you journal ?
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2018, 07:04:33 AM »
I don't journal but I think journaling is a good thing and it does help the person in the long run. Apart from that below are some points that you may find helpful.

In short I measure my progress by giving myself short  term goals and measuring how close I am to my goal. That's the good way. I have short term goal and the long terms goal.

One things helps, keep few things in your life fixed like no matter what happens I will do these things daily related to my goal. It can be exercising or studying. Apart from that try to enjoy life.

Be patient. If you move even very slowly towards your goal each day It's fine.

Don't judge everything what you or other people do with your own belief of good or bad.

The guy who you might be thinking as useless take drinks and partying a lot may be pretty smart and may teach some very important lesson in life. So try to interact with every type of person.

Having read a lot this types of books I consider self help books pretty much useless. Only way you are gonna learn by making lots of mistakes and failing multiple times. Don't try to do everything right in the first time. Start failing at whatever you want to do but not good at that. Instead you can read a great literature or biographies.

Being stupid isn't a bad thing. Learn to enjoy that.

And failing to sticking to your routine is also a kind of failure. Do that enough you will learn to be disciplined.

Go talk more and more to actual people. Exercise, play sports. That way you will interact with more and more people.

Staying in room studying books and sitting on your computer is an isolated activity. It's not social activity. If you want to change that then you have to take actions which involve more people. It might be frightening for some people like myself. but that's the only way.


Overall I will say if you think you have made the progress then overall you are on the right track. Don't be too harsh to yourself, too much controlling can lead to self hate.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 07:27:40 AM by raushan »

Siddharth

  • Staff
    • unlearning, relearning and letting go
Re: how do you gauge your progress ? do you journal ?
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2018, 04:25:09 PM »
Dear raushan,
In your reply you seem to have condensed a lot of your practical learnings ( or should I call them just learnings ). Thanks for these.

The essence of what you seem to be saying is to be gentle to yourself and others : non judgement and that to tread on your own speed : reminds me of fearless by pink Floyd.

Over the past few years, my experiences and understanding too agree with these...

I do have some daily rituals which I do no matter what. Meditation is one of them. Your suggestion for the same reaffirms..

My most important learning in the past few years has been perhaps to organically develop laughter as a reaction to life in general...whether it is how things are or me taking everything too seriously or giving undue importance to certain things...
This whole cosmic joke..

To what the path brings ahead...cheers
And what is good, Phædrus,
And what is not good...
Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?

raushan

  • Staff
  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: how do you gauge your progress ? do you journal ?
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2018, 09:51:30 AM »
I listened the song fearless by Pink Floyd. It's nice. I think it's relatable.

 

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