Author Topic: Anger  (Read 238 times)

mike_springer

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Anger
« on: April 23, 2018, 07:33:44 PM »
I'm doing about 30 minutes vipassana every evening. Recently, I have found that after stopping, much anger is arising within me: I linger on old grudges, dredge up memories of negative past events, etc. Any advice or suggestions? With thanks

Trojan1958

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Re: Anger
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2018, 08:56:32 PM »
new to meditation myself. six months. I sometimes have the same experience, and that is one of the reasons I got into meditation is to get rid of these old grudges. Are you also doing Shamatha meditation for calm mind? maybe your mind gets so clear that these old grudges have a place to surface. Im finding after a meditation session things long ago forgotten come to the surface, things I havent thought of for 10 years; its sort of weird. I find though, that having meditated, when the anger surfaces, I am quickly able to get rid of it as opposed to obsessing about it for the rest of the day, and then wake up again in the middle of the night still stressing about it. Now when that anger surfaces, I 'return' to my previous meditative state and observe the anger from a distance. Think of it as a campfire Im looking at in the forest at night. If I add fuel to the fire (Obsess about the Anger) by adding fuel to the fire, it will continue burning or even grow larger. If I do NOT add fuel to the campfire (by not engaging the anger, just observing it from a distance) the fire (anger) will slowly fizzle out, no fuel, nothing added, it slowly goes away by itself, just as a campfire will slowly dwindle and then go out all by itself. Since I started doing meditation half a year ago, the anger and anxiety in my life has dwindled to almost nothing, whereas before I often spent a whole day consumed with rage and anger about something that happened years ago! What freedom Meditation has given me.. Im reading a lot about meditation right now, lots of books in the public library

Alex

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Re: Anger
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2018, 10:23:40 PM »
It's very simple :D Reckognize there is anger. It's not your fault, it's a normal human experience. Allow it to be there just as it is. Investgate without identifying. When you inevitably get lost in the process, let yourself calm down from the emotional reactivity anger causes. Re-establish mindfulness and patiently repeat.

chin

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Re: Anger
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2018, 09:32:56 AM »
Here's what I do: I observe the anger - notice how it feels in my body and just let it be. See how it pulls me in and gets me hooked. See how it causes me to suffer. Notice how this suffering is of my own making - when I "linger on old grudges, dredge up memories of negative past events, etc.", I create my own suffering.

I then remind myself that I love myself; I generate metta toward myself - "May I be happy, be peaceful, be liberated." I use the metta as an antidote to the creation of suffering and so I stop creating my own suffering. The lingering on past events stops - because I ask it to stop, out of love for myself.

It's not always this straightforward though. The moment of mindfulness must arise - the moment when I notice myself getting trapped. Until then, I'm just caught up in the story my mind is making up. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. I'm getting better at it with practice.

stillpointdancer

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Re: Anger
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2018, 10:33:32 AM »
My anger management, whether at myself or others, is to use it as a reminder of why I practice, and then it kind of fades away.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

juntjoo

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Re: Anger
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2018, 03:44:16 AM »
How do we know we're not using meditation as a way to procrastinate taking action towards the cause of the anger? What if the anger is not only justified calls for a certain amount of courageous action on our parts? I may be just on my own here feeling this while most or all of you see your anger more like a pestering emotion, but I kinda wonder if along with all my emotions they're calls for serious courageous action more than meditation to try to ameliorate them. I'm worried I and others might be using whatever healing modalities to avoid action. Maybe we have to earn the right to rest(in meditation) you know? Like, maybe meditation gets easier the more courageously you move through your life. Or did we already accept this and I'm the only one who feels like maybe I'm cheating myself here?

chin

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Re: Anger
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2018, 09:22:21 AM »
It can be confusing at times to be sure you're not using meditation as a way to escape your emotions. But skillful practice is not about ameliorating emotions at all, but rather to feel them more fully. It is not difficult emotions (like anger) that are the problem but our resistance to them. The pushing away, the sense that "I should not be angry", fuels more anger. But instead if we turn our attention from the outside trigger of our emotions to the inner feeling of the emotion, we see it objectively and we can let it go.

As for taking courageous action, what stops us from taking the action anyway, without having to subject ourselves to the suffering of anger? Take the action, let go of the anger.

stillpointdancer

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Re: Anger
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2018, 11:16:48 AM »
How do we know we're not using meditation as a way to procrastinate taking action towards the cause of the anger? What if the anger is not only justified calls for a certain amount of courageous action on our parts? I may be just on my own here feeling this while most or all of you see your anger more like a pestering emotion, but I kinda wonder if along with all my emotions they're calls for serious courageous action more than meditation to try to ameliorate them. I'm worried I and others might be using whatever healing modalities to avoid action. Maybe we have to earn the right to rest(in meditation) you know? Like, maybe meditation gets easier the more courageously you move through your life. Or did we already accept this and I'm the only one who feels like maybe I'm cheating myself here?

It's the unthinking response to anger which is the problem. few people can be totally free of anger under any circumstances, but we can all respond mindfully to anger after it has arisen. We can use to power of the emotions that do arise to cut through procrastination, and even fear, to act mindfully.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka