Interesting topic, both from a ‘dharmic’ as from a practical (life choice) perspective.
What intrigues me personally when such questions are brought up is “What is the ‘friction’ that is causing these questions to be asked? And why now?” I write these as rhetorical questions, by the way, not requiring an answer on my account.
I kind of like your image of an ego-interface that needs to be loaded, enabling access to certain functions that are useful in daily life, like evaluating, choosing,… ‘choosing’ triggers ‘choiceless awareness’ which triggers the idea of “choiceless awareness while making a choice.”
Is this possible, is your question.
For me this triggers the idea of urgency or necessity as opposed to habitual or automatic tendencies. Urgency, or necessity, for me refers to an adequate or wise and definitely immediate response to a present situation, after which it can be let go of.
For example, there is no need to think of past, until there is some direct need, let’s say a customer that comes to you if you work in customer service. Then you go over some past events to come to some kind of conclusion that leads to some kind of action, maybe after taking into account some other (maybe future) factors. All this happens because of a concrete and present need, and is very different from habitual or fear-induced tendencies to think of past and future.
Off course daily life, as opposed to a simple and secluded life, is full of these kind situations in all of which we have the possibility to identify or lose ourselves.
Is it possible to practice under such conditions? Off course, as I’m sure you know. But if there is more need to access the interface then surely there will be less sustained periods of calm. Maybe then this becomes a question of what you value and why. I remember feeling offended when a zen teacher would say that concentration may lead to states of great calm and added “if that is what you value”.
I often savour(ed) the idea(l) of a stripped down (borderline monastic) life. God knows I’ve intensely struggled with the question, often after retreats. I’ve made a different choice, which I balance with islands of seclusion, small ones in daily life and larger ones periodically. Even though my practice is very stable, presence in daily life is consequently not as stable as in more secluded conditions, but nevertheless always there. When I find myself identifying with the ego / story / person, all it takes is to remember. And even though it fluctuates, it also seems to be something that becomes easier to do / remember, even under stressful conditions, the latter sometimes still a big surprise to me.
So a lay life is conducive to practice, which you also indirectly state in your opening post.
I guess that for me the choice of the lay - and sometimes (stress)full – life is the result of weighing the value of progression/practice with other values.
The life choice also impacts meditation, first part of which is about letting be all the strings of daily life, sometimes all session (evening more then morning). For me, that’s where my practice is, disidentifying with all that happens, finding that still presence in the whirl of daily life. Conversely, during longer retreats, I prefer to develop concentration over insight, exploring these deep states of calm.
Again, all this at this point in my life/practice, relative to other values.
May you find these (personal) reflections useful in some way.
Peace to you too!
