Author Topic: Regarding ejaculation  (Read 533 times)

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Regarding ejaculation
« on: March 09, 2018, 01:40:25 PM »
Hi,

It's little embarrassing for me to post here. Also not sure that it is right place to post.
It's regarding the sperm ejaculation. I am not in any relationship so rarely have sex(or not at all). Also in India pre marriage sex is difficult. I also don't masturbate usually. I feel guilty after masturbation so I don't do it. Also, I felt it lowers my self esteem.

Recently since 1 month I am having lots of sexual thoughts and I am ejaculating without masturbation. Just with little bit sexual thoughts I ejaculate the sperm. It seems concerning to me. Only way to not ejaculate seems to stop thinking about sex which seems to be difficult for now. I am not sure that it is meditation effect or something else. Any help.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2018, 02:07:24 PM by raushan »

oscarabeo

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Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2018, 02:32:50 PM »
raushan,

this started soon after you began meditating?

By the way, I don't find it embarrassing at all. It's actually pretty intriguing, the body is always surprising me.

o.

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2018, 03:15:27 PM »
Hi oscarabeo,

Thanks for the reply.

I have been meditating for two years now. It started happening recently from 1 month.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2018, 05:22:56 PM by raushan »

Middleway

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Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2018, 12:23:56 PM »
The body produces sperm and it has to go somewhere. It either gets absorbed by the body or thrown out. In your case, it is being thrown out and causing a mess. This sometimes happens at night while dreaming. This is a very natural evolutionary process. Just clean the pipes and not pay attention to it as much. Make it a body cleansing chore once a week. Then it will not be a distraction.
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2018, 06:54:49 AM »
Thanks Middleway.

Helpful.

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
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    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
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Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2018, 02:42:45 PM »
It's just another passing phenomena, so watch and learn. It will cease. Don't worry - as it doesn't help. Don't do anything or not do anything. Use no force, just watch and learn as it passes by.
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

raushan

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Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2018, 07:10:51 PM »
Thanks Matthew. Will do that.

garyblackhouse

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Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2018, 01:44:07 PM »
It's very refreshing to read your thread, raushan. Fair play to you for speaking about it. Again, I have come to the forums for other reasons but quite happy to stumble upon your thread.

I've been meditating for over 5 years. Almost a year ago when I visited Dhamma Dipa in England I began to ejaculate during my sleep, I felt the energy of the place heightening the chances of it happening . It was incredibly embarrassing at first, so much that I had to leave my retreat, guilt is not a nice feeling, in Ireland we have a lot of it because of the catholic church, but it is a global issue.

I have been having these experiences since then, if I don't do it myself after a few weeks it happens in my sleep. The more it happens the more I accept it and even laugh about it sometimes. A large part of me doesn't want to watch porn because I feel it's unethical and even for a day or two after I ejaculate I feel quite strange, but perhaps it is better to do so once every week or two so I don't create that mess.

One thing I have done to lessen the possibility of it happening in my sleep is to sleep with my heading facing east. And I find that if I have a lot of strong foods like onions or chili's in my diet it is also more likely to occur.

It is a sensitive issue, and it took me some time to even talk about it. If I ejaculate so easily without being touched by another person, the likelihood of me ever having a healthy sexual relationship is quite low, I would like to have a healthy sexual relationship sometime, but somehow doubt it will be possible. It is what it is.

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2018, 03:01:34 PM »
Hi garyblackhouse,

I think it's quite normal to have the ejaculation during sleep if you aren't masturbating. It has to come out some way. I don't think it's an issue.

Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2018, 11:29:14 PM »
Hi raushan,
I am an Indian too and was here once so I can relate.
I will give my little insights to this problem.
Quote
. I feel guilty after masturbation so I don't do it.   
You will have the same problem even after sex. The problem here is you are seeing first hand how your mind works. How barriers between good and bad fall apart when mind is filled with a desire. You are seeing how you have no control over your mind. How different its opinions are just before and after ejaculations are. You are not accepting these phenomenons. That is why you are feeling guilty.

Quote
Only way to not ejaculate seems to stop thinking about sex which seems to be difficult for now 
Nature has put all this high and mighty hopes in you about sex. Until you see with awareness sex for what it is I think it's highly improbable that u will stop thinking about it.
Your mind has to first hand experience what are the complications associated with sex only then will it give up.

If your goal is enlightenment then I would suggest working with sexual desires. If your goal is a happy life just masterbate and keep your tank empty. The chances of sexual situations over powering your mind will be close to 0.

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
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    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2018, 01:49:59 PM »
Having been celibate for 17 years I can say with some authority, "this too shall pass".

In the Vinaya there were many rules against masturbation - the lengths some monks went to to get their rocks off is illustrated by them: don't put your member in a hole in the ground, don't put your member in a hole in a tree ... don't rub up against the robe of a fellow monk. They go on and on. Those early monks were very inventive in trying to circumvent the rules!

There is no short cut, one just has to face things, see them as they are and let the desires dissolve in time - which they will.
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

raushan

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  • from India
    • S. N. Goenka switched to Samatha Forest Tradition
Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2018, 08:55:49 AM »
Thanks Matthew,

I feel I am having more control over the sexual thoughts I was having. I don't know whether it's good or not. I don't know whether I am suppressing it or not. But, I feel more calmer without these thoughts.

Also, mind does play tricks if you are not masturbating.

Matthew

  • The Irreverent Buddhist
  • Staff
  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: Regarding ejaculation
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2018, 01:16:14 PM »
Mind plays tricks whatever you do!

Glad to hear you are feeling calmer Raushan :)
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~