Author Topic: Painful Grief  (Read 499 times)

Teej

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Painful Grief
« on: April 10, 2017, 06:38:40 PM »
I've been out of vipa practice for more than six months. My last course was at Goenka's center in 2014. I've been feeling quite lately intense fear and sadness about the death of a loved one. I don't know what happened. Right after Goenka's retreat, I felt wonderful and thought this fear has vanished. I have a traumatic experience dealing the sudden death of my brother in 2009. It has intensified this time. So painful. How do I overcome this? Please, I'm getting tired. I don't even know if vipassana will still help me but I'm in a dark place. I feel isolated; alone in this journey.

I want to overcome this trauma of having to deal with death. I've completely missed Goenka's point every time: "to pass away". I am so upset. It seems I never learn.

Matthew

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Re: Painful Grief
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2017, 07:23:16 PM »
Teej,

Grieving is hard - we naturally become attached to those close to us. The thing about practice is that it really works when you keep it up, however you are feeling .. the good times and the bad.

You haven't practiced for six months, I suspect if you gently come back to it that will help. Also don't be afraid of feeling and expressing your grief. It helps to process it.

Edit: something I forgot to say: it's very helpful during the grieving process to remember the good times you had with your loved ones. Celebrate their life while grieving - this will stop you from falling into a pit of despair. Instead of clinging to the negative, remember and celebrate the good.

With metta,

Matthew
« Last Edit: April 10, 2017, 09:17:59 PM by Matthew »
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Vivek

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Re: Painful Grief
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2017, 05:34:03 AM »
Quote
I've completely missed Goenka's point every time: "to pass away". I am so upset. It seems I never learn.
Hi Teej. I think it will be helpful to set aside such judgements about yourself. We are all walking on the path in our own pace, so it is natural that wisdom would take time to reach fruition in us. I think some therapy should also help you out. Please don't hesitate to try it if you feel you need to.
Let's go beyond this illusion, shall we?