Author Topic: Been Meditating for a while - But questioning myself  (Read 530 times)

tcb19931234

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Been Meditating for a while - But questioning myself
« on: March 09, 2017, 09:58:12 PM »
The main thing bugging me at the moment, is my experience of 'presence'. In the fact that meditation brings up a very different sense of the word than other things in life that bring me presence.

For example, if I was to be engaged in an interesting, funny conversation with a good friend, I'd define myself as being present, where my awareness is only on what is happening and I'm completely melted into the moment. The presence I feel when meditating is more like an absence of thought, but I have more of a sense of what I am doing (meditating) rather than being completely immersed in it like the previous example. Does this mean I've been doing something wrong, is there something technical that I'm not quiet grasping as I feel the two experiences should have more similarity than they do.

I've been meditating for at least two years, 20 minutes a day. I started out with the headspace app, tried some transcendental after reading "Success Through Stillness" by Russell Simmons. I've also read The Power of Now. There have been a few different techniques that I've experimented with.

I feel a positive yet subtle effect from meditation, it quietens down mental chatter and seems to help me accept difficulties more easily. However, some people report dramatic changes to their life from meditation and wind up wanting to quit their jobs, have their ego diminished and find a strong sense of peace as if they're living a completely new life. I can't say that I've found anything more than a subtle benefit in the two years. And I feel like the positive effects could even be a placebo sometimes.


Any help or opinions would be appreciated

Tim

Matthew

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Re: Been Meditating for a while - But questioning myself
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2017, 12:27:49 PM »
Sit longer. 20 minutes is long enough to start experiencing the benefits. Two years into practice, a couple of hours a day ought not be a problem. An hour once a day would be a good start. You will see the obstacles you face. In 20 minutes you are not going to quieten the mind beyond superficial levels.
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Middleway

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Re: Been Meditating for a while - But questioning myself
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2017, 01:05:26 PM »
For example, if I was to be engaged in an interesting, funny conversation with a good friend, I'd define myself as being present, where my awareness is only on what is happening and I'm completely melted into the moment. The presence I feel when meditating is more like an absence of thought, but I have more of a sense of what I am doing (meditating) rather than being completely immersed in it like the previous example. Does this mean I've been doing something wrong, is there something technical that I'm not quiet grasping as I feel the two experiences should have more similarity than they do.

It simply means that you are more interested in having a funny conversation with a good friend as opposed to being with yourself. Try getting interested in being alone (not lonely) and befriend yourself. Once your mind becomes interested in you, many doors will open. Start with observing sensations, thoughts and feelings and how they interact/influence each other and so on. Then you will be able to sit for longer duration in each sitting.
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.

stillpointdancer

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Re: Been Meditating for a while - But questioning myself
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2017, 02:28:33 PM »
It usually takes me 20 minutes to 'get into' a meditation. It only starts then, when my mind is kind of quietened.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka