Author Topic: mask of emotions  (Read 1203 times)

lexandrius

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mask of emotions
« on: February 20, 2017, 06:41:18 PM »
Hello All,

At work I had an occurrence.
I did not have a great, nor a bad day (bit indifferent).

I was working on a project (on my own). I was deeply concentrated and focused, when a colleague passed by.
As I did not pay attention to him, he said "turn that frown upside down"  (something along those lines).

I quickly noticed my posture and my mood,  sat up straight, smiled, even though I did not particularly  feel like smiling.
In the evening I did some reflecting and got myself in a loop.

People are not always happy or indifferent. Should we hide behind a mask of smiles even though we feel (e.g.) sad or indifferent?
Things come and go, as do emotions, but to hide from emotions in the moment, isn't that hiding from the truth?
We face our emotions at a time when we can (eg in meditation), but in the meantime should one plaster a smile on their face just for the sake of being more "accepted or friendly"? 

Metta

L.

Laurent

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Re: mask of emotions
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2017, 09:33:32 PM »
Sometimes, smiles comes from heart and sometimes it does not. Personally, i am not in favor of mask of happiness or sympathy. It is untruthful or false to do this.
Dhamma is sacca(=truthfulness, honesty). With time and practice, it becomes more simple, as social game has less and less effect on your behaviour.
With less emotions when people tend to be overwhelmed by emotions, you are a bit different...
But when you feel peaceful, happy and energetic, you are naturally cheerful, from the bottom of your heart.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2017, 10:06:33 PM by Laurent »

Re: mask of emotions
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2017, 09:56:24 AM »
Just like a baby is born without knowing what happiness or sadness is but knows to laugh n cry for them same way a person is programed to identify the smile coming from a purified heart and a surface level crafted smile. U will never be able to mimick a Saintly smile unless u r a pro actor, so I would suggest smile when u feel like n don't when u don't feel like. Live for ur self first. Make ur self happy. Oly then can u think about other's wellbeing.

mdr

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Re: mask of emotions
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2017, 12:21:59 PM »

I was working on a project (on my own). I was deeply concentrated and focused, when a colleague passed by.
As I did not pay attention to him, he said "turn that frown upside down"  (something along those lines).




(Sorry, had to  ;) )

If seriously, what Laurent said:

 
Quote
when you feel peaceful, happy and energetic, you are naturally cheerful, from the bottom of your heart.

I was told that, when not smiling, i look like an assasine  ???  To add insult to the injury, by a friend. In full honesty, given that i am not permanently enlightened and obviously don't feel like smiling 24/7, i had felt relieved in Russia where smiling is not a must. Briefly, smiling and giving hand initially meant: i am not an enemy and i don't hold a gun. As known Russian linguist Mark Krongauz explains, in Russia it's different: i don't see you, hence i don't pose a threat to you. From there, Russians smile only if they really feel to and they don't do small talk. Every foreigner in the beginning goes, like: wow, they are so impolite!  ??? But with time that attitude grows on you, it's better like that imho. Smile if you feel like, don't fake it if you don't. Alas, i permanently reside in a Balkan country, where it's similar to US, even "worse" because we are a tiny country/population. You have to fake it, unless you are going to answer literally to everyone why exactly you aren't (at least seemingly) cheerful. ::)



lexandrius

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    • Theravada
Re: mask of emotions
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2017, 05:50:40 PM »

Be true to your feelings is what I take away from all this.
With some more practice, it indeed may become more easily.

Thanks for your insights,

Metta,

L.

stillpointdancer

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    • Exploring the results of 30 years of meditating
Re: mask of emotions
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2017, 11:55:08 AM »
"Whatever mask you wear it still leaves the same scars" is something I remember, but can't track down if it's a quote from something. I was walking the dog along the beach once, and saw that written on the sea wall facing the sea. That was some years ago now, and the words were quickly removed,  but I often think about them.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

 

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