Numbed Experience and Life Force

[A. Mumblecore]

Hi all,

I have been meditating for 20 minutes a day for about 2 years and have enjoyed the general benefits that it provides. Mind you, I am not trying to reach the ultimate goal of enlightenment, I guess you could say I am trying to become more enlightened for the purpose of being in the moment and less attached to outcomes in my every day life - which I have been successful in achieving so far.

However, whenever I have increased my practice from 20 minutes a day to a 20 minute morning session and a 20 minute night session, I find myself running low in energy and life force, it is as if everything is numbed. 

From my understanding, the feeling of being mindful is energetic, open, and relaxed. It is about feeling and living life more, as opposed to dulling it. I find that when I meditate twice a day, life feels incredibly dulled, emotions are hard to feel, I feel like I have less to contribute in conversations, I am neutral about everything, I even have a lack of sexual desire for my girlfriend (my erection strength is reduced).

When I have tried living every moment of the day mindfully, I find this dulling sensation amplifies even more.

I am not sure how this comes about - is it from a general lack of desire that meditation creates? am I doing something wrong in my meditation technique? is it because I am forcing my awareness into the present moment as opposed to gently guiding it back? Is it because I am not considering all my thoughts/feelings properly before redirecting my attention to breathing?

Please let me know if you have had a similar experience and how you overcame it, It would be great to know whether what I am experiencing is normal.

Thanks

[JaySon]

You can generate more energy with your meditation instead of depleting your energy.

Practice single-pointed meditation on the breath. Keep your focus only on the breath. As your mind becomes concentrated, you'll gain energy instead of lose it.

It doesn't have to be single-pointed focus on the breath, though it should be single-pointed focus on any virtuous object. You can hold single-pointed concentration on the feeling of loving kindness, for example.

[A. Mumblecore]

@JaySon - thanks for the response, so concentration will increase my energy? Have you had a similar experience to me before?

[stillpointdancer]

@JaySon - thanks for the response, so concentration will increase my energy? Have you had a similar experience to me before?

Congrats on keeping up with the meditation when things aren't going so well with it. Many people just give up. Meditation is a long term project, so you do need techniques that combine a couple of basic practices, such as mindfulness of breathing and metta bhavana, with energizing practices that tide you over until the basics kick in again with the energy they give.

Most teachers don't want you to teach 'bliss bunny' meditations in case you get too addicted to them and just do them for the energy blast. It's good practice not to teach these in a Buddhist context, but I think I would rather err on the side of keeping people meditating than worry about them using meditation for the wrong reason. Look around for energy meditations, although the one that works for me is a chakra meditation where you visualize air breathed in circulating around your body, with red energy rising up through the base of your spine from the earth, and white energy entering through the top of your scalp. These combine with the air as you breath in and out.

For me, I use these sparingly nowadays as my problem is often too much energy! I find the metta bhavana, combined with breathing out energy in the form of white light is enough. Over the years I've found that there is energy enough to spare out there, and that as we meditate we merely become a conduit to spread it to other people. Strangely enough, by giving energy we become more energized. Hope this helps.

[JaySon]

@JaySon - thanks for the response, so concentration will increase my energy? Have you had a similar experience to me before?

Yes, I have. When I first started meditating seriously, I sat and looked at whatever arose. It helped with mindfulness, but not with concentration. When I discovered single-pointed focus of the breath, I found stillness of mind and found my energy built instead of depleted. That is the concentrated mind.

Instead of chasing everything that arises, shift your focus back to your breath. Try to focus only on the breath and you will build energy and concentration. You'll feel tranquil when your thoughts and emotions calm and you are only focused on the breath.

[JaySon]

@JaySon - thanks for the response, so concentration will increase my energy? Have you had a similar experience to me before?

Congrats on keeping up with the meditation when things aren't going so well with it. Many people just give up. Meditation is a long term project, so you do need techniques that combine a couple of basic practices, such as mindfulness of breathing and metta bhavana, with energizing practices that tide you over until the basics kick in again with the energy they give.

Most teachers don't want you to teach 'bliss bunny' meditations in case you get too addicted to them and just do them for the energy blast. It's good practice not to teach these in a Buddhist context, but I think I would rather err on the side of keeping people meditating than worry about them using meditation for the wrong reason. Look around for energy meditations, although the one that works for me is a chakra meditation where you visualize air breathed in circulating around your body, with red energy rising up through the base of your spine from the earth, and white energy entering through the top of your scalp. These combine with the air as you breath in and out.

For me, I use these sparingly nowadays as my problem is often too much energy! I find the metta bhavana, combined with breathing out energy in the form of white light is enough. Over the years I've found that there is energy enough to spare out there, and that as we meditate we merely become a conduit to spread it to other people. Strangely enough, by giving energy we become more energized. Hope this helps.

You're right about the energy surge. haha

I find that when I sit there just blessing others, energy blasts through me. It is pretty intense and blissful.

I say things like, "May all beings be blessed. May all beings have food and shelter. May all beings be full of joy and love." And I keep going like that with whatever I can think of. Sometimes I'll think of people I know or enemies in my past and bless them. Sometimes I'll even bless ISIS.

Do you have a similar experience? I haven't talked to anybody about this type of blessing meditation before. So I'm curious.

[Nicky]

I find that when I meditate twice a day, life feels incredibly dulled, emotions are hard to feel, I feel like I have less to contribute in conversations, I am neutral about everything, I even have a lack of sexual desire for my girlfriend (my erection strength is reduced).

The experience above is normal & how it should be because meditation is designed to eradicate emotions, including sexual desire.

The mind feels dull because it is coming up against these emotions, which are called hindrances.

Once the mind cleanses/destroys these emotions, it will become totally blissful, energised & light.

It will abandon sex & be free! 

You will become a monk.

Your girlfriend can choose to become a nun or otherwise find a new man.

[bomega]

Hi all,

I have been meditating for 20 minutes a day for about 2 years and have enjoyed the general benefits that it provides. Mind you, I am not trying to reach the ultimate goal of enlightenment, I guess you could say I am trying to become more enlightened for the purpose of being in the moment and less attached to outcomes in my every day life - which I have been successful in achieving so far.

However, whenever I have increased my practice from 20 minutes a day to a 20 minute morning session and a 20 minute night session, I find myself running low in energy and life force, it is as if everything is numbed. 

From my understanding, the feeling of being mindful is energetic, open, and relaxed. It is about feeling and living life more, as opposed to dulling it. I find that when I meditate twice a day, life feels incredibly dulled, emotions are hard to feel, I feel like I have less to contribute in conversations, I am neutral about everything, I even have a lack of sexual desire for my girlfriend (my erection strength is reduced).

When I have tried living every moment of the day mindfully, I find this dulling sensation amplifies even more.

I am not sure how this comes about - is it from a general lack of desire that meditation creates? am I doing something wrong in my meditation technique? is it because I am forcing my awareness into the present moment as opposed to gently guiding it back? Is it because I am not considering all my thoughts/feelings properly before redirecting my attention to breathing?

Please let me know if you have had a similar experience and how you overcame it, It would be great to know whether what I am experiencing is normal.

Thanks

I had a similar experience when I first started meditating. I was doing shamatha meditation, and at first, I found a lot of relief. Then I started experiences extremes of pain, as shankaras started coming up. I decided to lean in, and soon I started to feel low energy, no motivation. Things that sound like symptoms of depression, but I wouldn't call it depression (because I have a lot of experience in what that actually feels like.) I backed off on meditation time, which helped, but stalled out on my progress.

Unrelated to any of that, I came across Pema Chodron's book The Wisdom of No Escape where she instructs a meditation where you follow only your out-breath. The specific instruction is to follow your out-breath with gentleness, precision, and letting-go. Then wait for the next out breath (obviously while you are in-breathing.) For reasons unknown, I started feeling more energetic, and happier. I started to feel deeper present-moment awareness, both on and off the cushion. I also spontaneously experienced physical tension relief in areas that had been real problems.

If this is something you want to explore, I would highly recommend getting the book Awakening Loving-Kindness, which is an abridged version of TWoNE, but drops 4 chapters which kind of lose the plot (IMHO). I gave a brief review of AL-K here, but I kind of repeat myself here.

[playground]

What does the title "The Wisdom of No Escape" actually mean ?
What is the title alluding to ?

[dharma bum]

What does the title "The Wisdom of No Escape" actually mean ?
What is the title alluding to ?

I think it alludes to the mind's tendency to distract itself from what bothers it. To face up to your fear, anxiety, anger with no possibilities of escape leads to making peace with your fear, anxiety, anger.