What do you think about my meditation experiences?

[Miss Sadie]

Hi guys! Ive been meditating for the past week and i have done so a few times about 2 years ago. I love meditating and it really is a highlight in my life.

Very recently in this year and about october of 2015 ive had a few big life changes which i think have other meanings. Theyre very big changes that have occured within months of each other. I moved to California, LA in October of 2015 to live with my fiance who is American, and i got married in the 19th December of that same year. My marriage is very happy and i love him with all my heart. I started to go through significant mood shifts from high to low, very extreme emotions and at many times i felt as if time was slowing up and getting faster. I started to experience these rapid mood shifts on the 10th January 2016 and they still happened for months. I was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And ive also been having very vivid and detailed dreams

Im much better now however i feel like a completely changed person. Ive changed my diet to a vegan diet, i feel an intense desire to become and stay vegan. Ive also got a burning desire to reconnect with nature its almost as if my whole body, mind and spirit are directing me to nature and ive always had an affinity for nature. I do not want material possessions, i only want to be surronded by nature. Im also much more compassionate and all i feel is love for other beings, be that human or animal. Its almost like a deep sense of calm and harmony. Sorry for the long intro, i just wanted to give some more background information I will now discuss my recent meditation experiences, i would love some insight as to what is happening to me, i feel like a completely different person but i love it

I've previously done meditation in the past, ive always been spiritual. I remember the first big experience was one time my eyes started to flicker very rapidly, my eyes were not open however they felt as if they were flickering and twitching extremely quick, it felt very warm and almost as if it was at the back of my eyes. Another time i remeber seeing seeing letters and i very clear image of an eye that was open. One time i tried to do astral projection and i felt my whole body vibrating very intensely and my whole body felt very warm. However this was about a year ago, i have no idea as to why i stopped meditating but thats how it is,

Ive been meditating again for about a week now and Ive had some very lovely experiences. A few days ago i remember seeing a blue orb, about the size of the fist. It was a very beautiful and vivid kind of blue almost like an electric blue. It started to kind of pulsate on the spot, getting bigger and bigger, similar to how a lung or heart inflates and deflates. It remained there for about 30 seconds before smoothly flowing to the left. I remember feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion to the point i was almost tearing up. It was such a compassionate, harmonious feeling and i think that experience has played a part in how loving i have become these past few days. The blue orb i saw almost felt otherworldly.

About a day after that experience i was again meditating and about after 30 minutes, (again i was meditating in complete darkness as i find that works alot better to meditate and clear my thoughts) i saw some white light coming down from the right. It was a very beautiful white light that felt very thick in density, it kept coming down almost as if it was radiating from above. It eventually got rid of all the darkness and in between the light i would see little specks of blue, the same colour as the blue orb i mentioned. But then i saw an outline of a figure, everyrhing was still white its just the actual figure was a deep black colour. I felt no sense of fright or dread, jusr calmness. It must have stayed there for about a minuted. On the left side of the figure i saw an outline of a bearded man's face. I dont know why i felt as if the face belonged to an old person but i know it deep within my gut that it was an old face. Again i was not confused or frightened, just merely intrigued by it. I then saw some red lines and next to the red lines. An eye that was open again, no colour in the eye but just the shape and outline of an eye. I then stopped that meditation session.

This last experinence happen about a few hours ago, at about 4am. Nothing really happened however im cool with that, meditation is a different experience everytime. However about 20 minutes into the meditation i felt a strange sensation near my tailbone, a throbbing pulsating sensation, it was a lovely feeling, i cannot explain it but it was one of the nicest feelings ive had in a long while. That sensation then started to turn into more of waves that was still at my tailbone but started to make its way up my spine. It was such an intense and overwhelming sensation but absolutley blissfull and relaxing at the same time. I kept calm because if i get to excited i can kinda knock myself out of the session and i lose my focus unfortunatley my neighbour made a loud bang so it woke me up and i couldnt continue im definatley going to meditate later tonight though.

Please let me know what you think is going on as as much as im intrigued, im very confused as to what is going on with me right now. So many thanks guys, namaste

[rogp99]

IMHO.

(Paragraph) 5: Seems like nimitta, but I'd let it go, it's still unstable.
7: I got this experience too, but how much did the waves go up?

My teacher would say big progress for a calm-abiding practitioner has been made when stuffs are consistent between sessions.

[Miss Sadie]

Would you mind me asking what exactly is nimitta? Im kinda new to all these terms. Would you say its a sign of progress?

[rogp99]

Would you mind me asking what exactly is nimitta? Im kinda new to all these terms. Would you say its a sign of progress?

Nimitta is something you "see" but it does not come from outside. In this case you "see" the blue orb with eyes closed.

You see a real nimitta when it's simple; bright; absorbing (in a good way), not disturbing.

[smritiyoga]

Good, you can take experience form other meditation center also. I suppose you will get some thing different experience

[Miss Sadie]

Thanks for the advice. Im experiencing something strange right now. Im trying to sleep because before i was tired. But now i cant. I feel really awake and im seeing swirling lights and colours when i have my eyes closed. This happened before when i was admitted to a psych ward for my bipolar disorder but during that time i was seeing faces that resembled monsters, teeth and eyes. That must have happened about 3 times. Right now im seeing blue swirls

[Middleway]

Thanks for the advice. Im experiencing something strange right now. Im trying to sleep because before i was tired. But now i cant. I feel really awake and im seeing swirling lights and colours when i have my eyes closed. This happened before when i was admitted to a psych ward for my bipolar disorder but during that time i was seeing faces that resembled monsters, teeth and eyes. That must have happened about 3 times. Right now im seeing blue swirls

If you are observing similar symptoms as before when you were unwell, perhaps you should go to a psychiatrist. Take care of yourself.

[maybeimeditate]

What is going on with you is totally fine.

The fact that you're not afraid of your experiences and that these experiences are pleasant is a sign you're on the right path.

Continue exploring your beautiful experiences.

Know when to stop if your experiences ever become unpleasant.

Learn to turn unpleasant experiences into pleasant.

The more you'll experience these experiences, the more you'll be able to explore them. The more you'll explore them, the more you'll start to question yourself: "What is the cause of these experiences?"

In finding the cause of these experiences is the path towards freedom from suffering.

[Matthew]

Hi Miss Sadie,

It will take some time to stabilise your practice. Anything that arises in meditation needs to be let go of, not clung to - clinging only stops the process. Thee are many foundations that are important to develop before your practice will go deeper in a meaningful way: calm, concentration, relaxation, equanimity and compassion. These will only arise in you with time spent meditating on a regular basis over a period of time.

So for now my advice would be quite simple: keep up the practice, rouse equanimity in yourself to anything that you see, hear or feel during meditation. Follow your call to nature: nature is a great anti-depressant and antidote to the ills of the modern world that bring on "conditions" such as "bi-polar". Off the cushion be kind to people, without putting yourself at risk; manifest compassion, practice compassion, with your own being and those around you.

I too am trying to live with a vegan diet by the way. I learned some things about the ethics and ecology of food that lead to this decision. It's easy if you are eating always at home, not so easy when you go out or visit friends.

Lastly, don't worry. Many strange things can appear when you meditate regularly for first time. Usually they also disappear as your practice evolves.

Kindly,

Matthew

[mdr]

Hi Miss Sadie,

It will take some time to stabilise your practice. Anything that arises in meditation needs to be let go of, not clung to - clinging only stops the process. Thee are many foundations that are important to develop before your practice will go deeper in a meaningful way: calm, concentration, relaxation, equanimity and compassion. These will only arise in you with time spent meditating on a regular basis over a period of time.

So for now my advice would be quite simple: keep up the practice, rouse equanimity in yourself to anything that you see, hear or feel during meditation. Follow your call to nature: nature is a great anti-depressant and antidote to the ills of the modern world that bring on "conditions" such as "bi-polar". Off the cushion be kind to people, without putting yourself at risk; manifest compassion, practice compassion, with your own being and those around you.

I too am trying to live with a vegan diet by the way. I learned some things about the ethics and ecology of food that lead to this decision. It's easy if you are eating always at home, not so easy when you go out or visit friends.

Lastly, don't worry. Many strange things can appear when you meditate regularly for first time. Usually they also disappear as your practice evolves.

Kindly,

Matthew

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