Author Topic: Continuous awareness?What happened to me?  (Read 1172 times)

dodo1

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Continuous awareness?What happened to me?
« on: November 12, 2015, 10:16:56 AM »
Hi guys, I am new to the forum.

I started meditation 2 months ago. I was doing it on average 20 min a day (Vipissana, Mindfulness). I found great improvements in myself (I am a very anxious person and OCD). However, as my practice progressed i was still having anxiety until a point, I started to have great consciousness over the nights so it felt like I was not sleeping, but all this is normal.

One day, I woke up and I found myself like having completely changed my breathing pattern. It became from one moment to the other really calm, really really calm. All my anxiety swept away, and also my OCD thoughts. The problem is that from that thing I stopped meditating, because i did not want further progress…I have always been a control freak and this state of mind now does not let me experience any anxiety any thoughts, i am just focused now. But it disturbs me because I cannot do the old things. Like the fact that the breath changed, my heart rate decreased significantly and the things posing me anxiety and increased heart rate just before disappeared all together. All my muscle tension disappeared when studying too. I got like very clear in my mind, it is always light and very focused. I would like to get rid of it. How can I go back?
It seems to me I am like in a constant meditation all the time. Maybe because my feelings of breath are calm and my hearth is very slow i find it different and i just keep controlling it to pass and get back to old me and precisely this fact makes me stay in this state. Like continuous controlling of my breath, heart makes me be in a light meditative state all long.

It feels quite not normal to have no anxiety no nothing. And the worst is that even if i pose myself a negative thought it does not bother me…So maybe i am doing the extreme opposite of  before and entering like a relaxation response all the time. But is frustrating!

At night is like different too.. Like I have all kinds of thoughts like dream rushing trough my mind and i always have weird dreams since then. Is kind of being in a conscious sleeping state also. However I feel good in the morning mentally at least..Only my body is slightly tired but not much.

So to conlcude u think I have just entered the automatic breathing awareness state?

Thnaks

Dharmic Tui

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Re: Continuous awareness?What happened to me?
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2015, 06:24:36 PM »
Vipassana practice (or most meditation practices) requires consistent effort, and can't be easily undone. It's very difficult to unsee what has been seen, there likely isn't any going back. It's possible what's occurred for you is that you've managed to calm yourself and you feel more comfortable. If you're happy enough with that and it lasts then good for you. If not, patience and persistence is the key.

Goofaholix

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Re: Continuous awareness?What happened to me?
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2015, 06:32:30 PM »
Things change, it is what it is, no need to give it a name just observe what's happening and learn from it.

 

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