Author Topic: Obstacles In Meditation  (Read 13364 times)

alanStark

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Obstacles In Meditation
« on: October 02, 2015, 02:28:24 PM »
Hi,

I am a new desciple in respect to meditation. I'm having a few problems. If the people here would be generous enough to help this poor soul out of his troubles. I'll try to be as precise and articulate as possible.

#1 What is "witness your thoughts"?

I understand from the instructions from numerous books that one has to be separated from thoughts, and just witness them; NOT to be involed in them. A perfect analogy would be me going to the railway station to just watch the trains pass by with no intention of boarding them. Sure I see the train, its color, its name, its route, but that does not affect me because I don't have to go anywhere; I'm just there to watch.

THE PROBLEM: The thought is me i.e. I am poducing the thought, though involuntarily, but I'm already involved. How do I watch it from afar when I am the thought itself? I can't differentiate "this is the thought, and that is me".

To be more precise, the thought comes with me already in it, not separate from it.

#2 Self-talk

There is a dialog that goes on constantly within me. I cannot stop it. I can only participate in it. I cannot leave the dialogue.


I've been sitting for a while now, I can comfortably sit for an hour without any issues, trying to meditate. BUT once the mind starts getting restless it is futile to even try, I'll get up after 5 to 10 minutes of resistance.

VipassanaXYZ

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2015, 03:20:40 PM »
It gets easy with time.

You'll know from experience.
Keep practising!

(I know I am writing a short note)

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2015, 07:13:04 PM »
Hi Pooja,

Thanks for the answer. So, am I doing it right? How do I know if I'm doing it wrong?

Matthew

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2015, 07:38:39 PM »
Hello alanStark,

Welcome to the forums.

poojavassa has written a short note - perhaps she is busy, yet I suspect not too busy to have written more. She has great knowledge, wisdom, discipline and compassion: hard fought for through consistent practice. So I ask you why might she write a short note? This may be why (and I have no doubt she will correct me if my understanding is mistaken):

I am a new desciple in respect to meditation. I'm having a few problems.... snip ... I'll try to be as precise and articulate as possible. ... snip .... I understand from the instructions from numerous books that one has to be .... snip ... THE PROBLEM: The thought is me ... snip ... I can't differentiate "this is the thought, and that is me".

Above is the short version of your problem now (there will be others). You think too much. Too many words. poojavasa gave you a kind of Koan, yet not quite. She gave you the punchline too, in brackets, at the end. You see meditation isn't about words, books, concepts, thinking or such. To begin it is about the breath and the body. It is about concentrating awareness on the sensations arising resulting from breathing and it is about calming the body with each in breath and with each outbreath. Thoughts are set aside: not ignored for their content, nor indulged. They will arise. You see them and continue focusing concentration 76% on body and breath. As soon as you've seen the thought you return to body and breath. No analysis, judgement, or follow on. That's just more thinking. You need to stop the chain. Body and breath and calming stops the chain going round. So stop thinking and start feeling: body breath tension relaxation calming (physical sensations not thoughts). Sit and breath.

When the thoughts slow down, which they will, you may come to a position of understanding where they come from and go to and how they arise. There is a fuller meditation: Shamatha - Calm Abiding on the home page of this site. If you have questions read that first and try it for 20 minutes with a timer the other side of the room one or twice per day for three days before you ask them. Forget all the other stuff you "know": not because it's the only way or the perfect way but because one meditation technique at a time is enough for a mind like yours. Don't forget to calm the body with every breath in and out.

Drop any rituals you have around meditation, though burning incense is sometimes helpful: you notice your breath more to begin.

In the Dhamma,

Matthew
« Last Edit: October 02, 2015, 08:00:38 PM by Matthew »
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Matthew

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2015, 08:11:37 PM »
PS you might try this: when you go to bed lay down on your back concentrate on your left foot and relax the big toe, then the next one and so on, then the arch and ball of the foot, the heel, ankle, calves, hamstrings, thighs, then the right leg, then start with the left arm - the thumb, fingers, palm, etc, then the right arm; pelvis, butt, belly, lower back, chest, upper back and shoulders, front of the neck, back of the neck, under and around the jaw, the back of the head, then the front, then the right side, then the top. If anything is tense do that part again. As you start say, "relax big toe", gently, calmly, until you feel it relax. And so on, until you get to, "relax top of the head".

Then sleep. Make sure you are drinking enough water and better no alcohol.
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

VipassanaXYZ

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2015, 10:03:14 PM »
Matthew gives great advice Alan.

Carry on, too early to judge right or wrong.
I struggle with thoughts and get overwhelmed often if I am not careful.

Matthew, I was thinking if I talk too much here :)
This sure is one of the very few places where I can share my thoughts freely.
I get support.

Meditation is so close to my heart.
Such a great community.

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2015, 12:50:10 AM »
Thank you Pooja Ji, I'm from Chandigarh, where are you from?
Secondly, thank you Matthew, for providing me with clear instructions as to what needs to be done. I'll be following samatha.

Matthew, if you could, please advise and answer some questions I have in my mind.

#1 How long before peace?
A bit of background of me. I was an innovator as a teenager, I helped build the foundation to my city's software development industry. Then I went to college, dropped out to build a company, and two years of traumatic experiences later, I've gone crazy, commited suicide thrice and can't control myself to even earn myself bread and butter; I used to earn more than my father till I was 22.

Now at 25, I've lost the will to come back up and discipline myself. I've lost all sense of social relationships, self-worth, self-respect, personal hygiene and a lot of instincts needed for daily functioning. And to top it off; there's actually nothing fundamentally wrong with me. It is the mind and intellect DUCKING everything up.

Can I fix my mind through meditation; if so is there a timeline where I can become normal, or functional in life?

In short, imagine a crazy person, and water it down to be unnoticable to the outside; that's me. I've come to meditation, in hopes that I can salvage the mind and fix myself.

NOTE: Psychotherapy hasn't helped. Mental healthcare in this country is at its infancy, mainly limited to drug prescriptions like sertaline.

To be precise:
1. The mind lets go of eveything i.e. one multi-tasks his way through his professional and personal life which requires oneself to remember  tasks, get them done and achieve goals in a timebound manner. This harbors a sense of stress and anxiety, which is optimal for productivity. I just automatically let go of everything, don't remember anything after a while, no sense of progress, of time, like a blackbox. Right now I dont' knowe what I'm supposed to do professionally, how to complete a project, how to start one...just fog in the mind.
2. I am afraid of people. I can now only interact with people as friends or acquantainces; I've become afraid of building professional relationships. I cannot be professional in dealing with people anymore, I've lost the sense of boundary, dos and donts.
3. I'm afraid to ask for money, for the work I've done. I always feel I don't deserve it, and I get phobic of asking for payments from my clients. I just keep feeling that I don't deserve it anymore.
4. 24-hour mental fog i.e. complete mental fog. All day long, I am unaware of what I'm supposed to do, I just roam around the house like an animal and just behave according to impulses.
5. I've lost all ability to articulate myself in verbal communication, something I was exceptionally good at (whichy helped me bag projects with amazing approval rates). While I can do the same to some extent while writing, I've lost all sense of verbal communication to be effective in buisness.
6. The mind does not remember much before the past week, earlier everything used to be crystal clear. Now it always feels like my life started a week ago and everything is generally empty before that. Yes, I can remember with the proper reference, or stimulus, but not like you're supposed to normally remember everything.

And much more.

Can I fix these things? Is there even the remotest of possibilities that I can be fixed. Me writing all this suggests that some part of me is still aware and functioning towards normalcy, but I've lost a massive sense of myself to this mental fog. I'm desparate. (Doctors are really not an option here.)

Any advice, help or references will be extremely helpful.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2015, 12:57:14 AM by alanStark »

Dharmic Tui

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2015, 08:53:14 AM »
I think one of the first things you need to try and do is relax, as Matthew is suggesting. There's no rushing this sort of process, it's not a switch you turn on and off its more like a tap you turn gradually over time. Don't get caught up on needing to act and feel a certain way.

VipassanaXYZ

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2015, 09:37:35 AM »
Alan, I am Indian.

From Uttar Pradesh.

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2015, 10:04:30 AM »
I think one of the first things you need to try and do is relax, as Matthew is suggesting. There's no rushing this sort of process, it's not a switch you turn on and off its more like a tap you turn gradually over time. Don't get caught up on needing to act and feel a certain way.

Thanks Dharmic Tui, for the advice.

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2015, 10:09:16 AM »
PS you might try this: when you go to bed lay down on your back concentrate on your left foot and relax the big toe, then the next one and so on, then the arch and ball of the foot, the heel, ankle, calves, hamstrings, thighs, then the right leg, then start with the left arm - the thumb, fingers, palm, etc, then the right arm; pelvis, butt, belly, lower back, chest, upper back and shoulders, front of the neck, back of the neck, under and around the jaw, the back of the head, then the front, then the right side, then the top. If anything is tense do that part again. As you start say, "relax big toe", gently, calmly, until you feel it relax. And so on, until you get to, "relax top of the head".

Then sleep. Make sure you are drinking enough water and better no alcohol.

Hi Matthew,

This is the third day, doing this sleep meditation. It's been effective, to say the least. By the time I reach my back, my body feels like jelly, relaxed in itself. And this is for the first time I've been able to see the amount of stiffness or stress in my muscles and been able to get rid of it. Although, I'm not done with this exercise. I still carry a lot of muscular rgidity, which I need to free myself from. I've also begun surya namaskar, a 12-step yoga exercise which holistically covers the whole body, streching each part in different ways. I think in a month or so, I'll be able to relax the body atleast, if not the mind.

While I've read the samatha mediation article of yours, I have some issues with it, which I'd like to discuss in the next post in details. Thanks for this, really, from the bottom of my heart, Matthew.


alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2015, 02:58:11 AM »
UPDATE

Just woke up from a 14 hour sleep and I feel fresh, after a very long time. I'm not feeling the usual distractions. I am also scheduled for a shrink's appointment, let's see what happens.

P.S. it feels a lot better to wake up in the morning and work during the day like normal people instead of waking up at 6 in the evening and working all night. Was 4am when I woke up, and its been good.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2015, 03:00:36 AM by alanStark »

PeasantProphet

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2015, 08:28:30 AM »
Quote
Thank you Pooja Ji, I'm from Chandigarh, where are you from?
Secondly, thank you Matthew, for providing me with clear instructions as to what needs to be done. I'll be following samatha.

Matthew, if you could, please advise and answer some questions I have in my mind.

#1 How long before peace?
A bit of background of me. I was an innovator as a teenager, I helped build the foundation to my city's software development industry. Then I went to college, dropped out to build a company, and two years of traumatic experiences later, I've gone crazy, commited suicide thrice and can't control myself to even earn myself bread and butter; I used to earn more than my father till I was 22.

Now at 25, I've lost the will to come back up and discipline myself. I've lost all sense of social relationships, self-worth, self-respect, personal hygiene and a lot of instincts needed for daily functioning. And to top it off; there's actually nothing fundamentally wrong with me. It is the mind and intellect DUCKING everything up.

Can I fix my mind through meditation; if so is there a timeline where I can become normal, or functional in life?

In short, imagine a crazy person, and water it down to be unnoticable to the outside; that's me. I've come to meditation, in hopes that I can salvage the mind and fix myself.

NOTE: Psychotherapy hasn't helped. Mental healthcare in this country is at its infancy, mainly limited to drug prescriptions like sertaline.

To be precise:
1. The mind lets go of eveything i.e. one multi-tasks his way through his professional and personal life which requires oneself to remember  tasks, get them done and achieve goals in a timebound manner. This harbors a sense of stress and anxiety, which is optimal for productivity. I just automatically let go of everything, don't remember anything after a while, no sense of progress, of time, like a blackbox. Right now I dont' knowe what I'm supposed to do professionally, how to complete a project, how to start one...just fog in the mind.
2. I am afraid of people. I can now only interact with people as friends or acquantainces; I've become afraid of building professional relationships. I cannot be professional in dealing with people anymore, I've lost the sense of boundary, dos and donts.
3. I'm afraid to ask for money, for the work I've done. I always feel I don't deserve it, and I get phobic of asking for payments from my clients. I just keep feeling that I don't deserve it anymore.
4. 24-hour mental fog i.e. complete mental fog. All day long, I am unaware of what I'm supposed to do, I just roam around the house like an animal and just behave according to impulses.
5. I've lost all ability to articulate myself in verbal communication, something I was exceptionally good at (whichy helped me bag projects with amazing approval rates). While I can do the same to some extent while writing, I've lost all sense of verbal communication to be effective in buisness.
6. The mind does not remember much before the past week, earlier everything used to be crystal clear. Now it always feels like my life started a week ago and everything is generally empty before that. Yes, I can remember with the proper reference, or stimulus, but not like you're supposed to normally remember everything.

And much more.

Can I fix these things? Is there even the remotest of possibilities that I can be fixed. Me writing all this suggests that some part of me is still aware and functioning towards normalcy, but I've lost a massive sense of myself to this mental fog. I'm desparate. (Doctors are really not an option here.)

Any advice, help or references will be extremely helpful.

You sound like me when I first started. Don't worry about the end result fall in love with the process

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2015, 12:02:28 PM »
Quote
Thank you Pooja Ji, I'm from Chandigarh, where are you from?
Secondly, thank you Matthew, for providing me with clear instructions as to what needs to be done. I'll be following samatha.

Matthew, if you could, please advise and answer some questions I have in my mind.

#1 How long before peace?
A bit of background of me. I was an innovator as a teenager, I helped build the foundation to my city's software development industry. Then I went to college, dropped out to build a company, and two years of traumatic experiences later, I've gone crazy, commited suicide thrice and can't control myself to even earn myself bread and butter; I used to earn more than my father till I was 22.

Now at 25, I've lost the will to come back up and discipline myself. I've lost all sense of social relationships, self-worth, self-respect, personal hygiene and a lot of instincts needed for daily functioning. And to top it off; there's actually nothing fundamentally wrong with me. It is the mind and intellect DUCKING everything up.

Can I fix my mind through meditation; if so is there a timeline where I can become normal, or functional in life?

In short, imagine a crazy person, and water it down to be unnoticable to the outside; that's me. I've come to meditation, in hopes that I can salvage the mind and fix myself.

NOTE: Psychotherapy hasn't helped. Mental healthcare in this country is at its infancy, mainly limited to drug prescriptions like sertaline.

To be precise:
1. The mind lets go of eveything i.e. one multi-tasks his way through his professional and personal life which requires oneself to remember  tasks, get them done and achieve goals in a timebound manner. This harbors a sense of stress and anxiety, which is optimal for productivity. I just automatically let go of everything, don't remember anything after a while, no sense of progress, of time, like a blackbox. Right now I dont' knowe what I'm supposed to do professionally, how to complete a project, how to start one...just fog in the mind.
2. I am afraid of people. I can now only interact with people as friends or acquantainces; I've become afraid of building professional relationships. I cannot be professional in dealing with people anymore, I've lost the sense of boundary, dos and donts.
3. I'm afraid to ask for money, for the work I've done. I always feel I don't deserve it, and I get phobic of asking for payments from my clients. I just keep feeling that I don't deserve it anymore.
4. 24-hour mental fog i.e. complete mental fog. All day long, I am unaware of what I'm supposed to do, I just roam around the house like an animal and just behave according to impulses.
5. I've lost all ability to articulate myself in verbal communication, something I was exceptionally good at (whichy helped me bag projects with amazing approval rates). While I can do the same to some extent while writing, I've lost all sense of verbal communication to be effective in buisness.
6. The mind does not remember much before the past week, earlier everything used to be crystal clear. Now it always feels like my life started a week ago and everything is generally empty before that. Yes, I can remember with the proper reference, or stimulus, but not like you're supposed to normally remember everything.

And much more.

Can I fix these things? Is there even the remotest of possibilities that I can be fixed. Me writing all this suggests that some part of me is still aware and functioning towards normalcy, but I've lost a massive sense of myself to this mental fog. I'm desparate. (Doctors are really not an option here.)

Any advice, help or references will be extremely helpful.

You sound like me when I first started. Don't worry about the end result fall in love with the process

Thanks peasantProphet for the kind words of encouragement. I've got good news.

Matthew

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #14 on: October 05, 2015, 12:06:20 PM »
UPDATE

Just woke up from a 14 hour sleep and I feel fresh, after a very long time. I'm not feeling the usual distractions. I am also scheduled for a shrink's appointment, let's see what happens.

That is great news you are sleeping. The reason I proposed you try that exercise is you seemed to be "running on empty", as we say in the UK: over stressed to the point of effectively no ability to function - and a manic response to that. This becomes a very vicious circle.

Don't think three or four nights sleep will catch you up! This needs to become part of your routine; sleeping properly, drinking enough water, eating good nourishing food. You have made a good start to grounding yourself.

The Shamatha practice will ground you more: in the breath, in the body and slowing the mania of your mind (mind follows body in this through the neurochemistry of calming body you send a strong signal to mind that everything is OK).

As PeasantProphet says, "fall in love with the process" - this simple sounding advice is very wise for you. Your habitual state was for mind to be in control of everything. Additionally, when you are in front of a screen (TV, computer etc) your mind completely tunes out the real world around you, including your own body.

So goals at this stage are simple, not very intellectual and recognising your own wish to intellectually control everything you will be wise to let go of that habit.

- Stay in tune with basic needs of sleep, food, water, good company (not "good times" type - ability to be authentic type).
- Start to develop calm, relaxed and awake awareness of breathing in meditation practice .... concentration/focus to follow.
- Walk in nature if you can, or get at least ½ to 1 hour of sun a day on half naked body (to normalise vitamin D level, a natural antidepressant and essential to immune and neurological functioning).
- Exercise physically at least twice per week: a couple of hours brisk walking, swimming or something (also a natural antidepressant).

If shrink tries to put you on antidepressants you will need to make your mind up about the wisdom of this, having informed yourself, investigate: 1) vitamin D and exercise both more effective than most antidepressants, 2) many antidepressants have increased risk of suicidal thinking in early days, so if you take them be aware of this possibility.

Yoga is a very good idea, also when you wake in the morning stretch in bed before you rise: like a cat does ... stretch every limb, arch your back, yawn wide, shake off the residual tensions before your body is fighting gravity.

So basically it is all about grounding yourself for the next few weeks/months. A schedule and a journal may help. Don't try to "run before you can walk". I understand you want your old life back (at least in some ways) yet the imbalance therein lead you to the current state you find yourself in. You will regain the qualities of concentration and social comfort you had before, probably more effective than ever, yet it is important you build on a solid foundation of being mindful and kind to yourself - and not a quick fix built on quicksand that will crumble.

It takes time.

Kindly,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2015, 02:52:06 PM »
Day 5

1. I've had little sleep and feel low now. This points to what Matthew said about running on empty.

2. Sleeping at the right time is also what's affecting me - early to bed, early to rise seems to work well, while sleeping at odd hours leaves me drowsy (which is what has happened today).3. Shrink has prescribed me two drugs from yesterday's consultation: Sertaline 50mg and Clonazopam 0.25mg. Not taken any meds, and won't take any for a few weeks. I want to give meditation an honest try.

4. I've had detailed my symptoms on paper and structured them. In addition to baffling the shrink, it has helped me deal with these in a better manner. I'll further my documentation to as much detail as possible.

5. I've started a journal today which dictates my day in detail as advised by Matthew. This includes emotions, tasks, personal interaction, business calls. I'll maintain this habit for the forseeable future.

Conclusion: Sleep enough, on time.

Thanks Matthew for all the advice and support.

Matthew

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2015, 10:26:46 PM »
Sleep early, sleep well. Drink water, get sun, exercise, journal, mediate and eat balanced healthy food. Meditation instructions on homepage will level out the ups and downs.

Well done.
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #17 on: October 22, 2015, 02:25:50 PM »
Update:
First of all, apologies for posting so late. I have been busy, and the good kind of busy at that.


Fails:
  • I could not maintain a journal.
  • My practice timings fluctuate.
  • I'm not keeping count of time. I do it whenever it feels 'right'.

Successes:
  • I'm more present. I am beginning to understand what my body needs and when. And I am taking care of those needs on priority.
  • Sleep has changed drastically. The body produces certain secretions that tell you that its time to sleep, the feeling of sleepy is due to those hormones. Earlier, I never felt sleepy. Sure, the brain would respond erratically, uncooridnated...but I never felt the need to sleep. NOW, its gone tits up. 15 minutes of samatha before bedtime, and its as if I'm gonna fall on the floor unconscious; I'm barely able to open my eyes. The funny thing is I only feel sleepy after meditation if its late in the night. The same does not happen if I'm practicing in the morning. I expected consistency there.
  • I've not taken a single pill for over two weeks now. I haven't had a single fit of anxiety as of yet. Yes my anger has increased manifold. My confidence has somehow skyrocketed.
  • After being unable to work for almost a year, I've working on the biggest project till date. It's for a nationwide telecom company, who need a customer management system linked to their store POS, completely overhauled. My hand and feet don't go cold when solving complex issues.


Insights:
  • Getting myself to sit down was tough for 3-4 days. I'm better at it now.
  • Coming back to read the Samatha Article is ESSENTIAL. Over time I've picked up so many concepts related to meditation, its bound to infect my practice. Reading the article refreshes me to what needs to be done and what not. And yes, it provides motivation...so I keep lurking in ther forums.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 02:38:31 PM by alanStark »

Vivek

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #18 on: October 22, 2015, 02:33:35 PM »
Hi, what is this form showing up in your post? Please check and remove it.
Let's go beyond this illusion, shall we?

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #19 on: October 22, 2015, 02:39:04 PM »
Hi, what is this form showing up in your post? Please check and remove it.

Happy?

Vivek

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #20 on: October 22, 2015, 03:27:35 PM »
I am neither happy nor sad :). As the moderator, I am supposed to point out such things. Thanks for doing the needful.

Let's go beyond this illusion, shall we?

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #21 on: October 22, 2015, 06:34:51 PM »
Hi Matthew,
I was reading up on S.N. Goenka and U Ba Khin...and their teachings. Why are both the guys fat? Aren't they supposed to be lean and fit, following the moderate path?



« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 06:39:34 PM by alanStark »

Matthew

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #22 on: October 22, 2015, 10:58:57 PM »
Hi Alan,

Firstly I'm glad to hear you have made such positive progress. What a great change already. Those areas you struggle with you can work on in time. I'm also glad to know the Shamatha article has been so useful to you: I spent a lot of time writing it and the community here also contributed to finessing the text.

Reading a good text once is useful, going back to it for reminders is wise. Regarding your anger, feel it yet don't become it: ask what it has to teach you and it will tell.

There are many old threads where I have expressed my opinions regarding Mr Goenka. You can read those if you search.

He is not fat now, he's dead, and out of respect for him, and the many people on the forum who were introduced to the teachings through Vipassana International, I say no more (I do have some respect despite what you will find).

Kindly,

Matthew
« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 11:07:49 PM by Matthew »
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Marc60

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2015, 05:18:37 AM »
Hello,

My name is Marc and I am a new member.
I don´t know if I chose the right thread this time I hope so....

I attended for the first time a Vipassana Course last September. After those 10 days I was reallly surprise about the improvements it brought about me. I got calm, my stream of speech improved, my concentration elevated. But unfortunately ever since also those benefits are almost gone.

Altough I am practising every day twice the quality of my meditation became meanwhile rather poor. The most of the time, especially in the afternoon, I feel dull and drowsy and no sensations showing up. Many times I shorten then or I am practising only Anapana.

I applied again for a 10 day meditation retreat but this only in the of february.

I don´t know what to do. How can I improve?

Has somebody an advice?

Kind regards
Marc

alanStark

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Re: Obstacles In Meditation
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2015, 08:37:12 AM »
Hi Marc,

Welcome to the forum. I'm delighted that you've tried to reach out for help. Being a patient myself, I can't help you out but I'm sure Matthew and the others will help you out trhough your rut. This community is great. Browse the other threads, gather what you can, and have patience. I know little myself, but I've understood the importance of patience.

Persevere.