Author Topic: Expierences at Goenka Retreat  (Read 8053 times)

Attachless

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Re: Expierences at Goenka Retreat
« Reply #25 on: July 04, 2016, 06:34:56 PM »
As contrast, I`ve switched from goenka to a more gentle meditation (in a retreat from a Buddhist monastery teaching vipassana too, easy style. well, "easy". As "easy" as meditation can be :-)), also with walking and sitting, and it did certainly not work for me. Äväry individual is.. individual, I guess :-D and I sticked to hardcore-goenka-method. Sit. Watch. Relaxation comes as you develop. Shoulda have started with relaxation firs.... na, nvm now :-D
to be or not to be - one hardly notices the subtlety

TheJourney

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Re: Expierences at Goenka Retreat
« Reply #26 on: July 22, 2016, 10:58:41 PM »
At the Goenka retreat, I had the experience of feeling tiny trail of electrical sparks going across my neck and up to my cheek, and then another electrical spark sensation growing like spider web  on my other cheek. A thought then came into my mind that I will have to tell the assistant teacher about this. When that thought surfaced, the phenomenon stopped. There are nights when I sleep I can feel invisible external force pushing up my lower jaw against the upper jaw. Or, I would feel invisible external force compressing on my head.  Once I was home these sensations never recurred.

The retreat helped me overcome my pain of sitting on the floor. I tried it before going to the retreat. I can only sit on the floor for 15 minutes top. After the retreat, I can do it for a whole hour twice a day. However, the more body scan meditation I do the noisier my mind becomes. I tried doing anapanasati until I was very calm, then do the body scan. The first pass was okay, but the more scans I do the worse it gets. I finally decided that this path is not for me. I stopped.

I am starting mental noting on as many activities as I can remember to mental note. Sometimes, life is on a fast pace, so it is hard to get every activity noted. However, it definitely helps with anapanasati. The more one practice bare attention during the day the less distraction or the more the mind is willing to just be there doing nothing.

purity

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Re: Expierences at Goenka Retreat
« Reply #27 on: July 28, 2016, 12:16:21 AM »
Have you had any mental issues previously in your life including depression etc?   I think Goenka centres and retreats in general tend to attract all sorts of people who incorrectly believe that meditation is some kind of magic that can heal them of their mental illnesses.   Its why they make people fill out forms and divulge information about history.   Some people with bipolar etc end up going on retreat and stop taking meds.  It also attracts drug addicts trying to go cold turkey. 

Sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation and not much food can trigger psychosis in many people not just the mentally ill. Psychotic episodes are not a spiritual experience although they might feel like they are. Ive had similar experiences although not quite so extreme and not at a Goenka retreat. The buddha followed the middle path but Goenka seems to be more towards the ascetic end of things.

« Last Edit: July 28, 2016, 12:30:14 AM by purity »

p340

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Re: Expierences at Goenka Retreat
« Reply #28 on: July 28, 2016, 08:45:52 AM »
Have you had any mental issues previously in your life including depression etc?   I think Goenka centres and retreats in general tend to attract all sorts of people who incorrectly believe that meditation is some kind of magic that can heal them of their mental illnesses.   Its why they make people fill out forms and divulge information about history.   Some people with bipolar etc end up going on retreat and stop taking meds.  It also attracts drug addicts trying to go cold turkey. 

Sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation and not much food can trigger psychosis in many people not just the mentally ill. Psychotic episodes are not a spiritual experience although they might feel like they are. Ive had similar experiences although not quite so extreme and not at a Goenka retreat. The buddha followed the middle path but Goenka seems to be more towards the ascetic end of things.



It's difficult for me to reply to this post that lacks basic tactfulness. Even if my feeling is you haven't read my posts thoroughly, i'll take the time to reply.

Like many people in general and especially that undertaking the adventures of exploring meditation, i experienced some mental issues in my life before. I wrote so in my form by the way - so they do not stop people from coming because of that. I do not think that meditation is some kind of magic that can heal my mental illness. Haven't stopped taking any meds or was going cold turkey too.

Psychotic episodes are not a spiritual experience although they might feel like they are.

This is a sentence of believe, not of fact like you make it sound. As i wrote in my post. First i thought so too. But changed my views on it. I do think that the same phenomenon can have two names in different cultures and contexts. An enlightened person would probably be in danger of ending up in psych ward here in central europe. It's a culture of naming things. And it's a culture of naming things in certain manner, that challenge the way of 'normally' perceiving reality.

Would a psychiatrist have named it psychotic episode? - Definitely yes.
Would a kundalini teacher have named it kundalini movement - Definitely yes.
So i for my part decided to perceive neither of these categoriziations as true or false. Just different perspective on the same phenomenon. My experience had both qualities. And there was definitely a deep spiritual part too it. After all, you weren't there with me..

Maybe it helps you to know that i studied psychology. I am very aware of what psychotic episodes are and how they can be triggered. That was actually part of the problem: I analyzed my own patterns and began to become afraid to end up in psych ward (a place i knew and feared because of my field work). The being afraid about my own thoughts part was the doom loop for me.

As i wrote in my post. It wasn't an all difficult experience too. The first part was very, very blissful. I had immense feelings of joy and rapture that travelled through my body. The first extraordinary things i saw weren't typical psychosis hallucination material too(usually auditive; voices). I saw chakras, the inner beauty of my body etc.

I really don't make this case to be special. I do not value this experience very high. I do think it's one of the most common extraordinary things that can happen through meditation, and altogether it probably originates out of imbalances and an unprepared meditator doing things he isn't ready for. I prefer calmness to rapture.

I make this case because i was hurt by the way your reply was written.

« Last Edit: July 28, 2016, 08:55:21 AM by p340 »

p340

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Re: Expierences at Goenka Retreat
« Reply #29 on: July 28, 2016, 09:02:35 AM »
It's funny because i was dreaming and then thinking about this in the morning today... How bad the teachers really acted. They really pushed me in the first part of the retreat. When i told them about the pain, they just smiled and gave me with their answers the feeling that i'm a wuss and i should just be a tiny little bit more ascetic. This dialogue happened 3-4 times. When i wanted to meditate in my room because i could support my hurting back with a wall they captured me and guided me to the meditation hall to sit in pain. They really pushed me and made me feel like it was a weakness of mine giving into pain all to easy. So i was fighting. And then when after a few days of this my condition goes *BLING* they tell me it's my fault, i'm a liar, deny all responsibility and throw me out :D hahaha
« Last Edit: July 28, 2016, 09:05:57 AM by p340 »

purity

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Re: Expierences at Goenka Retreat
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2016, 12:57:22 AM »
I make this case because i was hurt by the way your reply was written.

Sorry. No harm was intended. Its not personal just an observation. May you be truly happy and deeply peaceful.  All the best on future retreats.  :)

 

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