meditation do you suggest for...?

[Babylon A.D.]

Hi everyone

I am new to this site but have been meditating for about a year.
The problem i have is i have switch from one meditation to the other
and have not benefited from a single medition on its own.I only realized it now.

I do after about 5-10 min in a meditatve state but i feel like i need a meditation
that helps me with a process to get there to benefit's me in life when i dont meditate.

I have done guided meditations on youtube and i cant do it without it too so i am sort of stuck.
I cant do breathing meditations as i control the breath and it distracts me, i have done mantra meditation
but dont know what one to use.i am currently doing a bodyscan but which to do something with it.

My goal is to cure some fears and anxiety and shyness isssues and maybe become more spiritually
When i am cured or on the way to being cured.

What meditation do you suggest i do?not breath or mantra please if mantra which one?
If possible a guided meditation please?

Thanks in advance
Looking foward chatting with all of you

[Matthew]

Hello Babylon A.D.

I would not recommend Mantra or guided meditations.

You will find more progress by sticking with a simple breathing meditation (such as the one on the homepage) - do at least 20 minutes a day and keep with it until you let go of the need to control the breath. In doing so you will find out lots about this need you suffer from.

Welcome to the forum.

Matthew

[Vivek]

Matthew's advise is a sound one. Looks like there is a sense of urgency in you to get benefits from meditation as soon as possible, doesn't matter what technique you adopt. Rushing things won't get you too far in meditation. So, stick with a practice, like the one Matthew has suggested and in due course, you will see benefits from it.   

[Babylon A.D.]

Thanks Mathew and vivek.
I dont really have and urge to get results as i allready do but i have an urge
to get the right one for me and stick with it as a routine as i want full benefits.

Yes the breathing meditation is good advise but it sounds like i am going backwards
and as a guy that does not stick with one, breathing meditation after a week or so
i will get bored quickly.I can just sit and go in a meditation state but i loose the benefits
of a type of practice.

Any other meditation suggestions PLEASE as i have to get a routine asap.Sorry
but breathing meditation is not for me.
What basic Vipassana meditation could i do?
Thanks

[Alex]

breathing meditation after a week or so i will get bored quickly

Hi Babylon

It looks like you have already realized a lot of things about your (breath) meditation: you have noticed that you control the breath, that you get distracted and that you get bored. Such interesting things to notice and learn about how our body/mind works!
You have also recently discovered this "pattern" of always moving on to some different meditation when you get bored. And you have also realized that such a pattern does not offer many fruits.

It seems to me that you are willing and maybe also ready to break this pattern?

[Babylon A.D.]

breathing meditation after a week or so i will get bored quickly

Hi Babylon

It looks like you have already realized a lot of things about your (breath) meditation: you have noticed that you control the breath, that you get distracted and that you get bored. Such interesting things to notice and learn about how our body/mind works!
You have also recently discovered this "pattern" of always moving on to some different meditation when you get bored. And you have also realized that such a pattern does not offer many fruits.

It seems to me that you are willing and maybe also ready to break this pattern?

Thanks Alex

Yes you right and i am willing to break the pattern.
I feel like in every day situation or when your mind distracts you in life or meditation, even feel like when your
mind is clear you have to have something to fall back on, to remain focused.

So when i just close my eye to quiet your mind(My practice at the moment) is not so good in daily life, cause  when
a situation in daily life comes up you cant just close you eyes as it takes a while for your mind to remain calm and focus anyway.
That is why i feel a person has to have something to focus on when life gets to hecticor you are not present to help you stay in the now, calm and more focused.

Was hoping for some techniques and to get the right one that feels just right  that benefits me in daily life too.
Was hoping for a good mindfulness meditation but there i want to have something to focus on thats not the breath.

o yes i forgot that i broke my nose when i was younger now i can only inhale threw the one nose...
Why i dont like breath meditation too
Any other techniques are also welcome.

I feel i have to get the right one quickly so i can get a routine going.
Thanks again

[Alex]

It’s clear, Babylon, that you are very eager and motivated to find a practice that suits you. That’s very good!

But take your time…

Really, slow down! 

Rushing means that you might miss what is right here…

Yes you right and i am willing to break the pattern.

Then what would it take for you to break this pattern of constantly switching to different meditations when you get bored?

[Babylon A.D.]

It’s clear, Babylon, that you are very eager and motivated to find a practice that suits you. That’s very good!

But take your time…

Really, slow down! 

Rushing means that you might miss what is right here…

Yes you right and i am willing to break the pattern.

Then what would it take for you to break this pattern of constantly switching to different meditations when you get bored?

Thanks Alex

Its ok i will slow down i am just waiting/looking for the right one

To break the pattern will be to find the right one and stick to it.
The right one will be one i feel has to be a mindfulness meditation(so it helps me in daily life) that you focus on one thing and then what ever comes in your awareness you focus on it and when its gone go back to the thing you were focusing on before your mind wanderd.

The thing i am struggeling with is the thing i have to focus on when my mind wanders off to bring my mind back to the thing i should focus on.

Breath destracts my even more so i cant use breath any other suggestions.
Thanks again

[Alex]

You're very welcome. I find it very interesting to understand another human being! But I want to make sure that I understand you correctly, so I have some more questions, okay?

I understand that, when you do breath meditation, you encounter the tendency to control the breath. You also get distracted and you get bored.

Now, is seems that you consider those things as obstacles or problems, that you find them unpleasant and that they should be avoided as much as possible? Is this correct?

And when you say that you are looking for the right kind of meditation for you, do you mean that you are looking for a type of meditation in which you will not encounter control/distraction/boredom?

Is it that what you mean?

[Babylon A.D.]

You're very welcome. I find it very interesting to understand another human being! But I want to make sure that I understand you correctly, so I have some more questions, okay?

Please do, if you have more thats ok.

[quote =]I understand that, when you do breath meditation, you encounter the tendency to control the breath. You also get distracted and you get bored.

Now, is seems that you consider those things as obstacles or problems, that you find them unpleasant and that they should be avoided as much as possible? Is this correct?[/quote]

Yes but i which i could just use my breath but my nose was broken when i was younger so one nostril is always blocked.

[quote =]And when you say that you are looking for the right kind of meditation for you, do you mean that you are looking for a type of meditation in which you will not encounter control/distraction/boredom?[/quote]

control and boredom yes but distraction always happens in meditation right but not the main focus i just want to be comfortable most of my meditation practice let my mind distract me but not like breath or whatever is the main focus.[/quote]

[quote =]Is it that what you mean?
yes, sorry if i put it the wrong way.

I just wanted to hear some of this forums meditation practices that you guy's here suggestions before the mindfulness practice i had in mind but even so i still need something for my main focus (with Mindfulness practice)and it can distract me somewhat cause i think thats working you  mind muscle?but i must be comfortable what the breath does not do

Thanks for your time Alex i appreciate it

[Alex]

i just want to be comfortable most of my meditation practice

I guess most people here will argue that meditation is not supposed to be comfortable, Babylon. It’s okay if it is comfortable and pleasant. It’s okay if it isn’t. Just like life, right?

Meditation is more about being real and present with whatever is in your experience: control, distraction, boredom, discomfort because of one nostril being blocked… it’s all okay, it’s all part of the experience. It's all part of meditation. It's all part of life.

Part of the fruits of meditation come from the ability to tolerate unpleasant or uncomfortable experiences, to accept them as part of life. This this leads to less stress and less (experiential) avoidance.

If you are interested in my personal opinion, Babylon, I think you’re standing at crossroads. The important question, then, is in my opinion:

Are you looking for comfort in meditation?

OR

Are you prepared to be open to whatever you encounter in your meditation and just sit with it, and not avoid it by stopping and switching to different kind of meditation?

[Babylon A.D.]

Are you looking for comfort in meditation?

OR

Are you prepared to be open to whatever you encounter in your meditation and just sit with it, and not avoid it by stopping and switching to different kind of meditation?

Yes on the second one but not that frustrates me before i even start like breathing does and make my mind snowball effect.

Hi

I dont want to be that comfortable but as yes as a practice that i can tolarate that i know i can do for a while that does not make me feel like it not for me.

I have done meditations that feel like its ok i can do it and go in a meditative state but they dont help me with my problems in life.Like when i have stress,nervousness and my mind it going nuts in daily life, i want to be able to just focus on that sertain thing and my mind should go  quiet ot at least less stressed/nervouse.

[Alex]

Yes on the second one but not that frustrates me before i even start like breathing does and make my mind snowball effect.

I respect you, Babylon, so please receive my words in a brotherly spirit.

When I read your words, I read: "I can not deal with frustration before even starting breath meditation and I can not handle the snowball effect in my mind. I can't and I won't! And because I can't deal with those, therefore I must avoid them and do a different kind of meditation."

With respect to the choices that I gave, this is actually the first one: it is avoidance of what is unpleasant, it is looking for comfort.

This is a perfectly human thing to do, by the way, but you should know that it is what you are doing. That is not the second option, which is radical oppenness to experience, even openness to the frustration before the meditation even begins, even openness to the snowball effects in your mind.

Maybe there is a part of you that already knows this?

[Babylon A.D.]

Yes on the second one but not that frustrates me before i even start like breathing does and make my mind snowball effect.

I respect you, Babylon, so please receive my words in a brotherly spirit.

When I read your words, I read: "I can not deal with frustration before even starting breath meditation and I can not handle the snowball effect in my mind. I can't and I won't! And because I can't deal with those, therefore I must avoid them and do a different kind of meditation."

With respect to the choices that I gave, this is actually the first one: it is avoidance of what is unpleasant, it is looking for comfort.

This is a perfectly human thing to do, by the way, but you should know that it is what you are doing. That is not the second option, which is radical oppenness to experience, even openness to the frustration before the meditation even begins, even openness to the snowball effects in your mind.

Maybe there is a part of you that already knows this?

ok lets hope i get this right this time sorry 

Maybe there is a part of you that already knows this?
yes i know that

I have only started to do mindfulness meditation like 3 weeks back but i am struggling with it.I know you have to allow anything that comes up.
I was told to focus on the breath as a main focus, whatever comes up i should be with that and allow it to come and go AND THEN GO BACK TO THE BREATH AS MAIN FOCUS AND SO ON.
Which is a very nice meditation and i think i can benefit from it but the breath is an issue(You know the reasons why)

Take breath a side i am looking for something to replace the breath as a main focus.Say i take listning to anything(Have a issue with that too lolllll but just an example)Then what ever comes up i just allow it to be and let it go on its own AND THE GO BACK TO WHATEVER YOU GUY'S SUGGEST PLEASE.

I am also open to  other meditations if you have one that will help with my thoughs that is my big issue in life.I am a very nervouse,quite person and would like to heal.

Sorry for this hope it makes sense

[Alex]

I have only started to do mindfulness meditation like 3 weeks back
…
i think i can benefit from it but the breath is an issue (You know the reasons why)

There’s no need to apologize. I think we’re starting to understand each other. Let me try to summarize

After switching to different meditations for about a year, you have noticed that this has not helped you very much in daily life.

Now you have tried this mindfulness meditation and you have some confidence that it might help you and you want to stick with it.

But you have some issues with the breath: your nose was broken when you were younger. You keep controlling the breath, etc.

So, you were probably thinking “I think this meditation could be good for me, but I need another object as the focus point to return to. Not the breath, not sounds as well. I will ask for suggestions on a forum.”

And then, instead of offering suggestions about a different kind of object of attention, three people here offer you the best suggestion that they can: stick to the breath meditation, be present and patient.

That about sums it up, right

[Babylon A.D.]

Yes 100% correct

The patience and to be present i dont have a problem with but the breath man is a problem.

The thing is i have meditated twice today for about 30 min and every other day just sitting there and closing my eyes
and i go in a meditative state for about the last 15 min or so, so its not a problem to get there.

Just i feel i can benefit more from a mindfull meditation what you said with other object than breath.

You have it right now sorry for confusion.
Thanks for your patients

[Goofaholix]

The breath doesn't just happen at the nostrils, the chest expands and contracts, the abdomen rises and falls, the whole body vibrates and pulses in time with the breath.

You can practice mindfulness of breathing with any or all of those experiences, it's the best entry point to mindfulness of the body, then of feeling tone, awareness of mental states etc.

Get yourself grounded in the breath and the body first this will lead to awareness of other experiences.

[Alex]

The thing is i have meditated twice today for about 30 min and every other day just sitting there and closing my eyes
and i go in a meditative state for about the last 15 min or so, so its not a problem to get there.

Seems to me that the breath works fine as an object of meditation 

[Matthew]

As Goof says the breath does not just happen at the nostrils. Actually from my experience nostril mediation is not particularly beneficial. If you have gone to the trouble of reading the mediation instructions on the homepage I first pointed you to then you will know it has nothing to do with nostril mediation.

I'm interested in what you mean when you say you can enter a meditative state after fifteen minutes. What qualities does this state have?

[Babylon A.D.]

As Goof says the breath does not just happen at the nostrils. Actually from my experience nostril mediation is not particularly beneficial. If you have gone to the trouble of reading the mediation instructions on the homepage I first pointed you to then you will know it has nothing to do with nostril mediation.

I'm interested in what you mean when you say you can enter a meditative state after fifteen minutes. What qualities does this state have?

Hi Matthew

Sorry i will take as look at the meditation you suggested and keep and open mind about the breath.
Sounds like you guy's think breath is important for meditation so i will give it a try.

The meditative state depends on the day, as its never the same most of the time(You know that)
Some times 5 min then sometimes after 20 min but i do quiet my mind and the quality i guess its getting deeper.

I do feel some times my cells vibrate, feel very calm and relaxed.Of course it could always be better but it only helps during
Meditation and not in daily life were i need to calm relax and be alert so i could beat my anxiety and nervousness.
Also i am jurning(sorry for the spelling) for inner peace but i guess it will take time, i am really patient and know the inportance of being present
cause that helps me but it very difficult for me to be present in life as my mind still controls me.

Thanks for your advice and time
If you think breath will help for what i am looking for i will do just that
Peace

[Babylon A.D.]

The breath doesn't just happen at the nostrils, the chest expands and contracts, the abdomen rises and falls, the whole body vibrates and pulses in time with the breath.

You can practice mindfulness of breathing with any or all of those experiences, it's the best entry point to mindfulness of the body, then of feeling tone, awareness of mental states etc.

Get yourself grounded in the breath and the body first this will lead to awareness of other experiences.

Hi Goofaholix

How do i ground myself in the breath and the body?

Thant for your advice on breath it makes allot of sense, i did not think it in that way.

[Babylon A.D.]

The thing is i have meditated twice today for about 30 min and every other day just sitting there and closing my eyes
and i go in a meditative state for about the last 15 min or so, so its not a problem to get there.

Seems to me that the breath works fine as an object of meditation 

Hi Alex
I respect you but u put me threw all the explanations and info and you tell me that.
Wow dont know what i would of done with out you.

How does that tell you that the breath is a fine object to focus on.
Sorry but i dont get it 

[Goofaholix]

How do i ground myself in the breath and the body?

Just observe it, make sure whatever meditation practice you are doing that you are aware of the body and the breath.

[Babylon A.D.]

How do i ground myself in the breath and the body?

Just observe it, make sure whatever meditation practice you are doing that you are aware of the body and the breath.

Thanks again will do

[Middleway]

Hi Babylon AD,

I have started meditation practice about year and half ago and I can relate to your feelings and frustration albeit for different reasons. The body scanning technique I learned at Mr. Goenka workshop was not getting me anywhere because I had doubts about the technique the way it was taught by Mr. Goenka on the tapes. I will not go into details as it is not relevant to the discussion here. I switched to meditation technique provided on the home page of this website and I continue to use it in my practice to this day.

As I understand, the purpose of meditation is to always be aware of the present moment and not get lost in thoughts (either past or future) or overcome by emotions/feelings. When mind is tranquil and is focused on the present moment, then the mind is able to see "what is" rather than looking at "what is" through filters and making it no longer "what is" (hope this makes sense). When a calm and quite mind focuses on the present moment, we get insights into things. For example, when you quietly and with great alertness observe your anxiety and/or fear (that you want to get rid off) in order to understand it, you may be able to identify the underlying causes. Those insights may help you overcome your anxieties and fears. 

Using breath as meditation object is very useful because it is always accessible/available anytime for mind to focus and train to be here in the now. Any other meditation object is a mental formation which will not last long enough for you to train your mind. I think if you focus your mind on full body breathing rather than just at nostrils (as Goofaholix pointed out), you may not feel the discomfort you may otherwise feel when you focus on your single nostril breathing.

Hope this helps.

Middleway