Need a little guidance and advice

[WilhelmVivas]

I'll try and keep it short. I've been meditating for about 2 months now. Some questions I have are:

1. When watching thoughts, sometimes it feels like I'm lying in wait, and when I catch one my mind seizes it and says aha! Gotcha!. Other times I'll realize I've been caught up in a train of thoughts and come back to my breathing. I try and stay relaxed, but when I get too relaxed my mind unknowingly wanders. How am I supposed to watch my thoughts without overdoing it?

Does properly watching thoughts and body experiences come from experience? I feel like sometimes I try too hard, other times I'm too relaxed. what is your advice?

Thank you for your time and responses!

[Max]

That already sounds very skilful. Usually, it takes people much longer to work with thoughts as this is one of the more difficult objects.

Re. the relaxation part: In my opinion, that's exactly what happens when your mind is trying to find the balance between relaxation and energetic attention - it sometimes "drops" below a threshold and it wanders. From what you are describing here, you are doing fine, it's a learning process. Sometimes, there is not enough energy in the system to work with subtle objects: If you are trying to go for subtle objects, you burn out. In this case it is better to open your awareness to a less subtle object (body sensations) and/or have a broader lens (watch the breath in the whole of your body).

This leads me to your last question: Yes, experience will help. But again, it seems to me you are doing fine. One of the best known western teachers once said (paraphrased): Working with thoughts can be difficult in the EARLY YEARS of meditation. (Because there is this "thought pressure", this storm of thoughts arising in the mind). So, taken this into account: You seem to do well after two month!

[Alex]

I agree that this sounds very good: you're noticing when you're too focused and you're noticing when you're too relaxed.

So that's where you're at. That's where your rubber meets your road and where you're gaining your experience.

It's not about telling you something which you could then simply "do". So keep watching and exploring... What does it feel like? How are you reacting to what you're noticing? Are you judging or simply aware? Is there a longing to have the "right" amount of concentration, etc.

 

[Matthew]

Hi Willhelm,

"There is only one way to learn to ride a bicycle and that is to fall off a few times" - it's all about balance and that only comes with experience ...

Matthew

[WilhelmVivas]

Ok thank you everyone! More practice and experience seems like the answer here, appreciate your answers and thought

[WilhelmVivas]

Oh and one last thing while I have you all, last question for a while.
when I'm meditating, I've come to notice that sometimes my mind will wander (as stated above), but then there seems to be another part that knows this. Its like my mind and this other part don't necessarily work together. The closest thing I can relate it to is when a child is goofing around, and the parent just looks at it, and the child quietens. Is this what they mean when they say that one is made up of a whole lot of parts working together?
Sorry if this sounds goofy or disjointed, Im still pretty new to all of this.

[Matthew]

Wilhelm,

It's a sign of developing awareness, sometime referred to as "the watcher". Let it watch

Matthew

[Goofaholix]

I've come to notice that sometimes my mind will wander (as stated above), but then there seems to be another part that knows this. Its like my mind and this other part don't necessarily work together.

What you are noticing shows good awareness.  Think of the mind as being a collection of processes rather than a single entity.  It's good to be aware of those processes as and when they are active.

So if we compared the mind with a computer, a computer has various processes that monitor activity (antivirus for example) or kick into action on a schedule or in response to events etc.  The mind is more complex than a computer.