Author Topic: Ego fighting me, and awareness of awareness  (Read 1592 times)

KingMe

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Ego fighting me, and awareness of awareness
« on: January 08, 2015, 01:51:54 AM »
It seems like normal everyday awareness is like a spot light. Attention seems to go out to something while everything else is only barely in awareness or not at all. And in being, what I call aware of awareness, attention is expanded to take in vast more amounts of information and the "spot light" is only where the eyes are directed and focus on, but everything else (mostly) is illuminated.

I have a fear that in this higher state I'm losing some kind of ability, intellectually or observationally. I seem to not trust this higher state. Maybe that's just the ego afraid of losing it's imaginary control, afraid to die. There is a feeling like I might die, but I know thats BS, so it must be the ego right? I think I need to just have total faith in this shift.

Any thoughts or advice?


Goofaholix

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Re: Ego fighting me, and awareness of awareness
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2015, 02:18:55 AM »
I wouldn't call it a higher state.

Basically awareness is capable of doing it's job, narrowing down to a spotlight when needed expanding out to a floodlight when needed.

All you need to do is encourage it to do it's job by not trying to second guess it rather by giving importance to monitoring the awareness itself.

I'm not sure why you fear a "shift", like everything else awareness is subject to change, any shift is impermanent and the quality of awareness is subject to change, though if you're practicing right should trend for the better.


KingMe

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Re: Ego fighting me, and awareness of awareness
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2015, 03:25:30 AM »
Not a Higher state but from my experience a profound difference. From anxiety-ridden madness to peace and calm. Thanks.

Nicky

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Re: Ego fighting me, and awareness of awareness
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2015, 12:12:15 PM »

I seem to not trust this higher state. Maybe that's just the ego afraid of losing it's imaginary control, afraid to die. There is a feeling like I might die, but I know thats BS, so it must be the ego right? I think I need to just have total faith in this shift.

Exactly as you said. If the quiver & panic of fear occurs, just know it, be with it (until it eventually passes).

Matthew

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Re: Ego fighting me, and awareness of awareness
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2015, 08:18:25 PM »
KingMe,

Ego will try and f*** you up all the way my friend. I agree with your thoughts on this.

Kindly,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

 

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