Having no control over myself - Just let go and watch what happens.

[KingMe]

Listening to some of Alan Watts' lectures and in particular about how there is no little "I" within us making decisions and voluntary actions. These things being, just "happenings" of the universe. And so I think, "'Well sense I have no control over myself, I'll just let go and get out of my way and watch what happens." So I still do things and think and talk, but there is a spontaneity there. A relaxation of my muscles, and it's that relaxed alert state. Very pleasant. The ego has been reduced substantially. And I am not the neurotic, anxiety ridden person I am often, but rather self-actualized, healthy and normal. But this feeling/realization does not last. Especially if I am around other people. Self consciousness kicks back in.

This "not trying to control" and just observe experience seems to be a bit like the "equanimity" in Vipassana. Just observe. But it has to do with voluntary actions rather than how a part of my body feels as I do the V practice.

All I know is that if I am able to be in this state for 80% of my life, my life would drastically change of the better. Socially, professional, etc.

Just thinking aloud. Any advice or thoughts are welcome.

[Marc]

It's an obvious thing to say, but i see no other way to develop this skill of letting go than by practice. Just go on meditating? Probably this is of no help

[Tobin]

Great to hear it's making such a huge difference in your life King.

Just keep at it. Like you said, your habitual patterns tend to kick in during certain situations. You are now slowly retraining yourself with new patterns. Don't expect it to be a quick process. Just continue to notice the relief or anxiety from your actions and I'm sure you'll be well on your way.

Mindfulness is changing the world!

[siddharthgode]

It's very easy to tell n teach the conscious mind all this... How do u teach the reacting unconscious mind??
By practice it experiences this itself