Author Topic: what is love?  (Read 5222 times)

Phaedros

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what is love?
« on: February 11, 2014, 02:41:24 AM »
Is it just another illusion?Is it to be avoided?....Im interested in any and all insight.....your help is appreciated......Namhaste.
Clothed in no-cloth robe
Feet clad in turtles fur boots
I seize my bow of rabbit horn
And prepare to shoot the devil ignorance.

Matthew

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2014, 02:52:34 AM »
Hi Phaedros,

Love is many things.

The most common variety, romantic-love, is a chemically induced state of blissful ignorance that arises due to repetitively thinking about the person who is the object of this "love": such thinking raises the levels of endorphins such as Dopamine circulating in the brain. Then when you see the person who is the object of this love, BOOM! - your Dopamine levels shoot up and you feel happy and "loved up".

Unfortunately this chemically-induced blissful ignorance wears off after about 4 years which is one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high :D

My favourite definition of love is from M. Scott Peck's book "The Road Less Travelled":

Quote
Love is the work you do to go beyond yourself in service to others.

This definition fits well with Buddhist teachings on selflessness, service, generosity and Metta.

I'm sure other's will have something to say on the subject :)

Warmly,

Matthew
« Last Edit: February 11, 2014, 05:21:32 PM by Matthew »
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

Re: what is love?
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2014, 05:19:14 AM »
Quote
Love is the work you do to go beyond yourself in service to others.

fantastic definition... It does apply for romantic love as well if you ask me.... true romantic love, Not the one shown in Indian movies.   :D

Phaedros

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2014, 05:56:55 AM »
Could it be that love...probably all.....I guess i would think inanimate objects would tend to be more disordered/dillusional/illusion......but take romantic love as the best for the example.....could it be that it is the pull of the self to the Self......back to oness.......I would have to look it up but the Upanishads say something about this......ofcourse I know this is just one way of looking at it...But I think interesting.....any thoughts along this line.....maybe this longing for Oness becoming disordered by the mind?
Clothed in no-cloth robe
Feet clad in turtles fur boots
I seize my bow of rabbit horn
And prepare to shoot the devil ignorance.

Re: what is love?
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2014, 06:45:36 AM »
Quote
could it be that it is the pull of the self to the Self

I would say its the lose of one self for the other.

Phaedros

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2014, 06:56:52 AM »
Quote

I would say its the lose of one self for the other.

I like that definition...I think there is more to it...but i still like it.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2014, 08:58:50 AM by Matthew »
Clothed in no-cloth robe
Feet clad in turtles fur boots
I seize my bow of rabbit horn
And prepare to shoot the devil ignorance.

PeasantProphet

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2014, 12:06:00 PM »
So would you say life is about meeting and experience and learning with no people?

Alexander

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2014, 05:17:02 PM »
I'd say dopamine is more related to pleasure, reward and gratification. Oxytocin is more to do with intimacy with serotonin occupying the mood aspect influencing what some experience as loving feelings to others

Matthew

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2014, 09:53:22 PM »
I'd say dopamine is more related to pleasure, reward and gratification. Oxytocin is more to do with intimacy with serotonin occupying the mood aspect influencing what some experience as loving feelings to others

I'm sure you are right - dopamine does play a part as do the other chemicals you mentioned, and more.

Interestingly a scientist on the radio was explaining the other day that we have more dopamine in our stomach and heart than in our brains.
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

Alexander

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2014, 10:26:10 PM »
Don't know about the heart but I think dopamine  has a role to play in gut motility.

Often neurotransmitters act on aspects outside of emotions etc. Serotonin does all sorts of stuff.

rob

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2014, 09:18:21 PM »
Perhaps interesting a ted talk about the romantic love

http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love#t-23873


VipassanaXYZ

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2014, 06:56:57 AM »


For me, it is not so black and white esp. regarding romantic love.

Meditators make for more sensitive partners.

Meditators (if householders) are drawn towards relationships that are wholesome and inspiring, their love is pure and unsullied.Commitment comes naturally to someone who is meditating earnestly

Buddha said it is a real fortune to meet someone who matches you …

Rather than seeking to fill a void or a need, meditator’s love is expression of a bounty within.

Sexuality becomes a choice (far from a need or compulsion). In Khaggavissana Sutta Buddha mentions that meditators are not as eager to start a family …

Coming out of the cycle of life and birth, procreation becomes a baser instinct, like we do not need to ‘hunt’ and have evolved to ‘growing’ our food, meditators experience (I lay stress on the word ‘experience’ here) a sexual resolution, there remains no duality and lesser external or physical need. There is no sexual repression.

I can relate to people like that, they will feel very very low aggression, liberation from passion actually involves disintegration of anger and hatred as well.



rob

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2014, 04:03:56 PM »
My opinion is perhaps other than the opinions on this forum. I think that mother nature has produces us and all we are can be related to that.
 We have 3 main areas in the brain for love, The attachment, main purpose is that people  stay long enough together, because we are the only species on earth with so long childhood. Second part is romantic love, probably close connected to attachment. Is needed for the initial state of bonding. At third is the reptilian part. All those parts work together and are more activated by the chemicals,neurotransmitters.
Meditation. I think it is very natural for us to meditate. We are in part meat eating animals, In order to hunt, we must be very wakeful and attentive. Take a cat it, perhaps it meditates. Is being wakeful and silent in order to hunt. We have outgrow this hunting skills, but can use it as a state of mind in meditation.

VipassanaXYZ

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2014, 06:38:10 AM »
Human beings have higher capacity than animals.
Though, you can choose to compare.

Love can be high and subtle, or reductionist and despicable - problem is not just with semantics but also the approach we use to view love.

the way to overcome attachments and dependencies is not through reducing the meaning of love; compassion is the basis of all teachings.

VipassanaXYZ

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2014, 06:40:56 AM »
About the cat example, all actions require a degree of concentration. In Pali scriptures there is a difference pointed out, right concentration is one of the eight factors, read more here:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/suwat/concentration.html

Right concentration is not the concentration of the cat.

rob

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2014, 12:34:17 PM »
My believe is that we are special animals, very good at communicating, logic thinking and creativity. Dolphins have even a more complex brain then ours, i have heard. Perhaps they need it to convert the ultrasonic sound to 3 d image.

Samadhicat

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2014, 10:18:39 PM »
Love is knowing...for sure

flowair

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Re: what is love?
« Reply #17 on: January 31, 2015, 07:59:42 PM »
To me, love is when your emotional wellbeing depends on the emotional and spacial closeness of another person or group of people loved. In these terms, love can be seen as an addiction to someone else. Shared love means double love, this is the difference from a chemical drug.

But, please, mind that as any definition of an abstract concept this one is faulty, too. It is just a piece of a mind's view of the world, a mind constantly changing while the world changes.

Matthew

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  • Meditation: It's a D.I.Y. project.
    • KISS: Keep it simple stupid.
    • Getting nowhere slowly and enjoying every moment.
Re: what is love?
« Reply #18 on: February 06, 2015, 08:45:30 PM »
Human beings have higher capacity than animals.
Though, you can choose to compare.

Love can be high and subtle, or reductionist and despicable - problem is not just with semantics but also the approach we use to view love.

the way to overcome attachments and dependencies is not through reducing the meaning of love; compassion is the basis of all teachings.

Beautifully put :)
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

 

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