Letting go of your ego??

[John Bruzi]

What does letting go of the ego really mean? Surly it can't mean that you will no longer value yourself and let others downgrade you like some whimp? I mean if ego is the reason why I don't let people bully or downgrade me, does letting go of my ego mean that I will now tolerate such behavior?

Or is letting go of your ego mean that you are paving the way for a better one, but meanwhile need to let go? I don't understand.

[dimeo]

Letting go of the ego is like realizing that the true you is not the team jacket you wear, nor your name printed on your licence. 
You are not your foot, because you can survive an amputation.
Your sense of who you are, your "I", your sense of self importance is something you've learned through your life.  You've learned it through the conditions you've experienced in life in the past.   

But inside, under all of that, at the very core of you is your 'pure awareness'.  It's like the sky, beautiful, pure and empty. 

Are you ready for a profound change in your life?
Imagine a complete shift in thinking!
What if you were not who you really think you are?
Imagine this sense of "I" falling apart like a hollow shell and finding pure spaciousness within.

Would you, could you, be willing to lose your foot to save your child from harm?  Would you give your life to save another?   Perhaps your 'selflessness' could maybe even change the world!

Look at people like Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and others who have given their life to benefit of others.

[John Bruzi]

Well that's very encouraging. I don't know if I'm ready yet or not, but I do know that I want to change at all costs. It's becoming more and more difficult to live with myself, with what I have become, with everything that I have found out about myself (my fears, preferences, and emotional habits).

But I have to ask, since our most concrete habits of thinking and emotionaly responding to stimuli are chemically/neurologically imprinted in our brains, can letting go of our ego and meditating really erase all of that and create a new response system in our body?

I can't think what life would be like if I ever got over that terrible side of myself and adopted the bright side which I can only feel during moments of inspiration, but not during real-life situations.

[dimeo]

I can't think what life would be like if I ever got over that terrible side of myself and adopted the bright side which I can only feel during moments of inspiration, but not during real-life situations.

Don't worry about seeing "the glass half empty".  Don't worry about not seeing the glass half full.   Maybe instead you can begin to broaden your vision and see a glass with some water in it.   It is "such" as it is.


Also take a look at the Karmapa's dream flag. What do you see?  The waves are each created by and dependent on the other.  In order for us to perceive one, the other exists.  We can eventually learn to be aware of both existing together as a whole.   

Have you ever find yourself feeling very convinced of the way things are, and in one moment saying, "This is reality" or "I'm being realistic"?
On many occasions in the past, I often was saying that to myself, especially when I was feeling negative about things.
We sometimes think that "reality" is absolutely a certain way when the next second suddenly its not!

The other day in 'real life' I saw the most amazing sunrise appear.  A beautiful fire  filled the sky.  In a matter of minutes the angle of the sun shifted and it was gone.  It wasn't there one second, then it was there, and then it was gone again.  What we think is 'reality', and is plainly apparent to everyone, is in constant change moment to moment.  This 'real life' that we cling to, we sometimes mistake it to be a thing thats solid, eternal, unchanging and absolute.


Similarly people tend to be aware of or pay attention to only one (apparent)  thing of the moment.  But it's like having short the attention span of a fly in a much much larger universe, unaware of everything that exists.

But what if we start looking at the whole of things! What if we allow ourselves to see the "suchness" of things just as they are.     All around us is potential! A whole new world of possibilities!

[Johann (Hanzze)]

What does letting go of the ego really mean? Surly it can't mean that you will no longer value yourself and let others downgrade you like some whimp? I mean if ego is the reason why I don't let people bully or downgrade me, does letting go of my ego mean that I will now tolerate such behavior?

Or is letting go of your ego mean that you are paving the way for a better one, but meanwhile need to let go? I don't understand.

There is the time to let go, and there is the time to stick to it, John. But still, to be or not to be is not a question of the path. Maybe you like to investigate more:  Selves & Not-self - The Buddhist Teaching on Anatta Take your time.

[Matthew]

Firstly is the realisation that ego is not a solid thing .... It is a collection of collections: conditioned habits of body and mind .... Meditation starts to let you see this for yourself, that your sense of self is 'made up on the fly' or put together in real-time to suit the situation.

Then comes the realisation that as you gain insight into the way ego is constructed you can change this. You won't let go of ego in one go, because of this very nature, because it is not a 'thing'. So you might start by letting go of some of your habits and conditioning and as you do this you'll learn how to let go ... Slowly at first then quicker as you learn and perfect this skill you will let go off all the crap that make up this false sense of self bit by bit.

[Nikolay Perov]

Hello everybody)

I decided not to make a separate topic, and to put my question here.

Do we really have to kill our ego? Of course, ego is the source of suffering: you get jealous, you get angry, you get proud... It is ego. But does the manifestation of your ego means only bad things like being angry being envious of your neighbor when he buys a brand new car?

I think Ego refers to some good things also. Your pleasure connected to the fact that someone thanks you for helping him to cope with some problem is also ego. Your happiness related to the fact that someone loves you and shows approval towards your actions is also ego. You are happy that you became better, healthier, more self confident, cheerful is also ego.

If we completely kill our Ego we will become indifferent, apathetic. We have to control and manage our ego, but not to kill it. Isn't ego the sourсe of all our desires to become happier and better? Isn't is a sourсe of love? I'm not quite sure about my last statements (ego is the source of happiness), so i will like to read your comments.

Is Ego sourсe of only suffering? Do we have to kill it or only to manage it, or rebuild it? If Ego is not the source of happiness, what is the source of it?

Recently i changed my meditation practice from mantra meditation (i did it for 3 years - it has done a great thing to me!) to mindfulness (with focusing on breadth) . I need to conclude that mindfulness is stronger, more deep meditation (at least for me). But i am little concerned about the prospects of killing my ego with more powerful technique. I want to be happy with my life, with whom i love (now i am happy!) but not to kill all my desires and attachments. So this question is also devoted to this problem.

And one more question, is it right, that mantra meditation (don't want to use term "transcendental" - it is just a brand) is Hindu practice and mindfulness is Buddhist practice?

[Dharmic Tui]

Happiness or sadness are going to happen with or without the ego, the key factor is suffering. Suffering via attachment or aversion is a product of the ego. So if you want to end suffering, the ego has to end, you can't cherrypick parts of the ego you want to retain, that would be delusional. You're welcome to try though

[ramat]

" I want to be happy with my life, with whom i love (now i am happy!) but not to kill all my desires and attachments" If one does not want to let go of desires..no body is forcing. Everyone has freedom.

Lord Buddha had everything before he went to search the reason for all sorrow. After Enlightenment he told Desire is the cause of all.
I practice all this meditation to know and reach the ultimate reality. Reality of what we are and what we will be when we leave this body.
There is nothing like killing ego..ego is only set of thoughts we acquired without verifying their validity.
If I am an Engineer and when i tell that I am an Engineer when first met..that is not ego. Ego is set of false ideas. Ego insists we are separate from others and world.
IMO,
As Mathew wrote..practice sincerely then thoughts about ego itself evaporates.

[Quardamon]

Hello Nikolay,

This kind of meditation was taught by someone that wanted to taste life to the very bottom of the cup, however bitter or sweet it might be. He (Buddha) learned not to care about sweet or bitter in the process. What he taught can take you on a very tough ride. At times, to go on, one needs a sense that the very bottom of one's being wants this and sees this as natural. At other times one can have beautiful vista's.
You say:  "I want to be happy with my life, with whom i love (now i am happy!) but not to kill all my desires and attachments."

Walking this path will bring you to the point where you will not take very seriously the ego that was built form fear. And later it will bring you to the point where you will not take very seriously the ego that was built form desire and attachments.
Er   . . .   I suppose this is a warning. If you want to be happy and are fairly happy, then respectfully stay away form this path.

It is funny, that my reaction to you is very different form my reaction to the original poster in this thread. With him, I get the feeling that he needs to walk this path - and he wrote that himself also, in another thread.

If you have no idea what I am talking about and you want to know, then please read the "Foreword and Warning" of "Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha" by Daniel Ingram. It is available as a book, and also as a free pdf-file on the internet.

Be well.

[Nikolay Perov]

I suppose this is a warning. If you want to be happy and are fairly happy, then respectfully stay away form this path.

So if this path doesn't lead to happiness, harmony, inner peace, where does it lead to?

[Hazmatac]

But I have to ask, since our most concrete habits of thinking and emotionaly responding to stimuli are chemically/neurologically imprinted in our brains, can letting go of our ego and meditating really erase all of that and create a new response system in our body?

You need some programming to function. If you truly got rid of ALL of it, you wouldn't know how to tie your shoes because the info would be gone. You need something to function, and to that extent you will be conditioned by it, if our conditioning is (purely) in our neurology.

This answer may go into metaphysics and spirituality, but the above I believe is likely a solid concept when it comes to purely the physical universe.

[Dharmic Tui]

So if this path doesn't lead to happiness, harmony, inner peace, where does it lead to?

That wasn't what Quardamon was trying to say. The path can lead there, he was more inferring that if you have a relatively happy life full of ego and relative ignorance this path will probably rock the foundations of that happiness, and potentially distress you.

[dimeo]

So if this path doesn't lead to happiness, harmony, inner peace, where does it lead to?

If my self and my actions largely revolve around my base instincts....
I live  a life that is driven by unconscious impulse.  Without thinking I may feel threatened and might become aggressive or hostile towards whomever appears to be preventing me from having what I desire.  This state of mind has no freedom and all action comes out of habitual tendencies.  Samsara (experiencing and causing repeated suffering) results from this level of being.  It is an endless tangle of karma and disturbing emotions.  As I age I become further mired in a hell of suffering, and drag others down with me. 


But if I regularly practice the development of my spiritual being, (ie. living according to the Noble Eight Fold Path ) then my actions and awareness starts to be liberated from attachment to base instincts and material existence.  This offers the best chance to attain liberation from samsara.  Awakening and enlightenment can occur, instead of continually re-entering another stage of Samara.

If I practice a compassionate existence that is based on the perfection of wisdom (prajna pāramitā) as an enlightened human (Bodhisattva), I can help all living beings achieve salvation.   As my body and senses age and eventually fade away, I am more prepared to let go of this human realm and find true freedom from suffering (nirvana).

"I practice all this meditation to know and reach the ultimate reality. Reality of what we are and what we will be when we leave this body. ... ego is only set of thoughts we acquired without verifying their validity.

A similar thought was in my head this week while driving to work.  What will I be when my body dies?  Will I "be" anything?

We sometimes talk about reality as though 'reality' is a knowable solid permanent object.... but what is it and where is it?  In Buddhism it is taught that "all things lack intrinsic reality" (sunyata).  In mahamudra teachings,  mind and phenomena are empty of identity.  My 'reality' is continually changing based on context and different from what you see in your perspective and changing experience.     Similarly we tend to treat the I / ego as though it's a knowable and real thing.   

It's a beautiful idea that when the body dies,  the true self could become
dharmakaya, and  enter direct experience of nirvana & sunyata.   

[Nikolay Perov]

So if this path doesn't lead to happiness, harmony, inner peace, where does it lead to?

That wasn't what Quardamon was trying to say. The path can lead there, he was more inferring that if you have a relatively happy life full of ego and relative ignorance this path will probably rock the foundations of that happiness, and potentially distress you.

understood - thank you.

of course i will chose to do meditation.

I was only concerned that Ego is the possible source of all emotions. And the desire to develop you spiritual self comes from Ego too. No Ego = No desires (Even no desire to follow the path of meditation) = No emotions (no pleasant emotions) = No compassion (you simply don't care) = No moral principles. And killing it completely we will become indifferent, de-motivated, unhappy and even immoral.

[Matthew]

The ego is not the source of emotions. The ego likes making a big deal out of them.