Author Topic: I have to do something!  (Read 2782 times)

something

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I have to do something!
« on: November 13, 2013, 02:42:47 PM »
I couldnt really find a good title for the topic - excuse me for that -, but there are also several themes and thoughts, which are confusing me and sometimes even exasperate me.

So, basically the problem is, that most of the time, when I start meditating, I meditate to reach something - this can be the freedom of anxiety, the work on mindfullness, the disidentification of thoughts and many other things. I am conscious of this, yet I am caught in it. Therefore I am getting discontent or annoyed. And I am getting confused: "ok, what can I do now? I want to meditate, but I also want to reach something with it.. I want to let things be as they are, but I just want to do this, because I hate things like they are now". And then there starts a battle inside of me, which I only can loose (and which is a stupid mind-product). And this battle can last just while meditations or even for the whole day or several days - then I am getting really depressed.

But I dont really what to do against it. Mostly I cant escape of this "I-have-to-do-something-that-I-stop-doing-something-attitude". Do you have any recommendations? What can help in these cases in general and what can help regarding meditation?

Sometimes I can love myself - and within I can love that stupid battle. But most of the times I am just feeling desperate, restless, driven and helpless.

Is there a good method to create self-acceptance and acceptance of all things? (I tried a few times metta-meditation, but I wasn´t really into it (I always had problems with guided meditations))

Thank you all!

hottyicecat

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Re: I have to do something!
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2013, 03:50:28 PM »
Isn't meditation part to train yourself out of this battle in the mind? :D
Anyways, i got nearly the same problem, but a bit different, and the only thing that helps ME is that 1) i count from 1 up to 10 and as much as i need, like when u breath in u count "one" when u breath out u count "one" then again, u breath in u count "two" u breath out u count "two" again and so on.
2) sometimes i do chant this "Om mani padme hum" dont remember what it means, but i read a book of Dalailama where was told that, if u got hard to focus when meditate, u can chant this, and it helps to, but i dont use it much, just tried few times, it kinda helped, hard to say, for me easier to count to 10 :)
3) Sometimes, when counting doesn't helps, i try to focus on a word ( emptiness or maybe on more then just a word, a phrase, dunno varies....  ) or something, like a dot, imagination in my mind, its like an anchor*(? if i use the right word here ) but sometimes i just focus on breath or my heart ( to be more specific on a small light in my heart ).

Well that's all from me, hope it comes useful :p
and sorry for my bad English, hope u understand me.

something

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Re: I have to do something!
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2013, 05:03:18 PM »
Thank you for your response, hotty!

Hm, revealing to your question: no, I dont think so. It´s more the opposite: maybe it´s the insight that there is no battle, thus there is nothing to train for..
I have also tried counting, but I felt again like I had to reach something by counting. And I guess the same will be with the chant and the word.. or maybe words can help like the method, where you shortly name what is going on in your mind (like "doubt) and then continue focusing on the breath/body.


on topic:
It´s really weird: I had a walk and thought again about this topic here. And it came into my mind, that I almost always think about myself and what I am doing - even if I am in a good mood, I am asking myself why I am in this good mood (and maybe if it´s good to be in a good mood..). It´s like there is a part inside of me, which is commentating everything whats happening and is always saying to me, if something is good or not.. Have to give this a deeper look, without looking too much at it.. haha

Matthew

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Re: I have to do something!
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2013, 06:26:08 PM »
Mediate to meditate, not for other reasons. Set no goals. This will unbind you from unsatisfactory meditation. Peace will arise naturally.

Kindly,

Matthew
~oOo~     Tat Tvam Asi     ~oOo~    How will you make the world a better place today?     ~oOo~    Fabricate Nothing     ~oOo~

hottyicecat

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Re: I have to do something!
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2013, 06:55:34 PM »
Mediate to meditate, not for other reasons. Set no goals. This will unbind you from unsatisfactory meditation. Peace will arise naturally.

Kindly,

Matthew

Thanks for reminding, i have forgotten this...

Sorry "something", i cant help u with anything else :(

ramat

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Re: I have to do something!
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2013, 10:09:06 PM »
Not sure what exactly you have in saying: I meditate to reach something.

In My expeirience:
Brooding nature spoils our subconsious and when you start meditating, one is facing the chaos manytimes. I found how much brooding i was doing when i started meditating..that was 10 years ago.  Lack of ..patience, self confidence, low will power, doubting everything..like this..there can be many wrong habits adding to add all these.

What i did:
Don't believe the thoughts, emotions, just be aware but not affirm or reject them. Initially as our the thoughts have their own power , they will drag but slowly their power goes down and our will power increases. Need lot of patience.
We have mind but we are not the mind. It should be used when needed like we use hand when needed but otherwise need to rest.
Persist and follow the method of meditation you are doing.  Understand the method properly and stick to it. It takes time but surely you will be progressing.  Be happy that you are helping yourself by doing meditation.  Avoid "can not do" attitude.
We are all divine souls. We all can live peacefully and happily.

Good Luck