Mikeler mindfulness questions thread

[Dharmic Tui]

How on earth have you achieved to stop the internal speech ? This is a thing that I notice a lot when meditating, even almost everytime I think: words. I have trouble being simply aware of things without speaking about it in my mind.

Your advices on it would be helpful.

This is difficult to achieve, as language is intrinsically tied to thought – but being able to switch off from one helps with the other. There is no hard and fast way to make this happen, and something that involves not using words is tricky to enunciate. But anecdotally for me, I stopped noting things so much, and just experienced them as they are. Feel it (whether its breathing, a sound, a sensation in your leg, the sensation of calm, or stress, etc), rather than think, name, and/or critique it.

[Matthew]

...How on earth have you achieved to stop the internal speech ? This is a thing that I notice a lot when meditating, even almost everytime I think: words. I have trouble being simply aware of things without speaking about it in my mind.
...

It stops itself given the right conditions: Calm, equanimity, non-violence (towards the phenomena of internal chatter itself included). Right mediation based on right view will take you there.

Don't try and achieve it. Just sit on the cushion and notice the sensations of the body or another meditation object such as sound, each time you realise you are chattering, quietly and without guilt, peacefully return to the sensation or object of meditation. Relax the body throughout.

[Dharmic Tui]

How on earth have you achieved to stop the internal speech ?

Thinking about this question some more made me remember this insightful dharma talk by Ajahn Brahm on this subject, and of vanishing your thoughts altogether. Here's the link to the mp3 file:

http://www.ceylonoutsourcing.com/dhamma/AB/RTRT11/04%20Vanishing.mp3

[Mikeler]

I'm still so inexperienced in meditation/mindfulness that it's ridiculous.

All it took for my entire day to be ruined today was a weak moment when I woke up in the morning and felt my most vulnerable. Grim stories related to relationships, socializing and all that. Fears that I'll die alone and always be ruled by fear and anxiety. Fears that I'm weak, inadequate, and incompetent. I bought into them, believed them, let them rule by conscious mind and my depression came roaring back and hit me like a ton of bricks dropped on my shoulders.

I'm literally feeling like I've had the crap beated out of me after a day of painful emotions....

[redalert]

....
I'm literally feeling like I've had the crap beated out of me after a day of painful emotions....

 And this too shall pass.
 Accept that at this moment this is how you feel and know that this will not last forever.
 Forgive yourself for getting caught up in thoughts, and practice some loving kindness towards the self.
 

[Mikeler]

Are there certain signposts that tell you how much progress you've made in meditation practice?

Should you be looking for greater feelings of relaxation?

[Dharmic Tui]

For me the signposts are the sensation of less and less engagement with thoughts, like being able to step outside of them and just let them pass by. You should be seeing more of the immediate in inside rather than casting your mind outwards at past, present and fantasy.

Oh, and the cessation of looking for signposts is a good signpost also

[Mikeler]

I bought a seiza bench the other day and I had high expectation for it.

I thought my meditation will become easier because of the back support and I will enter concentration much faster.

However, it's proving to be a living hell. My feet, ankles, bones are in agony every time I sit. I have to shuffle every 10 minutes. I've only had 2 meditation sessions on the bench, and I wonder if it gets better with time and practice.

I'm afraid I made the wrong decision and I don't know if it's worth to buy another bench or simply endure this one?

Here's the bench I bought.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MEDITATION-STOOL-with-stainless-steel-hinges-/231003090283?pt=UK_Health_Beauty_Natural_AlternativeTherapies&hash=item35c8db6d6b

[redalert]

Hey mike,

I have never used a bench before, but I have seen many people put cushions on the bench seat to raise them up slightly. Also, are you using a meditation mat or kneeling directly on the floor.
And, yes it will get better with practice.
Pain is the quickest teacher, you are lucky to have this.

[Mpgkona]

I have used one of these in the past, and I enjoyed it. However, for me it didn't provide the back support the advertisements claim. I have a herniated disk and need to adjust three or five times each sit, and there's not much adjusting one can do with a seizable bench. I would recommend though that you place a small cushion under your feet as well as place a mat under the bench, or else your knees will not be kind to you. I gave up the bench because it just didn't feel natural. Something about crossing the legs and sitting on your behind felt more natural to me (and this can be done anywhere so one doesn't have to worry about transporting a bench). Use it for a month though, make adjustments and then make a decision.

[Dharmic Tui]

I just sit upright on a stool or chair, I find theres no difference between that or a lotus style position.

[Matthew]

Mikeler,

Using Seiza bench you will need to have a cushion or mat on the floor or your knees, etc will get quite painful. Fold some blankets or a quilt if you don't have a suitable mat.

kindly,

Matthew

[Crystal Palace]

Hi Mikeler,

If you're not feeling comfortable, you should change your sitting-style rather than endure the pain. Feeling comfortable and relaxed is key to meditation.

I have never used a seiza bench, but as Matthew suggests, blankets are a good idea. I have attached images of my meditation cushion before my surgery. You can adjust blanket thickness according to your comfort, and even create a slight incline (15 or 20 degrees) if you'd like. All depends on what you are comfortable with.

I would recommend sitting without back support if that is possible. If it isn't then a chair works just fine, as long as you do not slouch and keep your back straight.

Post-surgery I went on 2 retreats and sat on a chair throughout, and I did not notice any difference in the quality of meditation when using a chair versus sitting cross legged.

Happy meditating 
Shreyans

[Mikeler]

The bench is horrible. My legs feel like they'be been crushed by a cinderblock even when I put blankets underneath my feet.

Also I can't concentrate as well as when I cross my legs.

I feel so sorry for buying this garbage when I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread.
What am I supposed to do with this useless bench now?

How deluded.

[redalert]

Hang on to it, I have an assortment of meditation paraphenalia that I have purchased over the years and some things that I found useless shortly after purchasing them, I am using at the moment. You could also donate it to a dhamma brother or sister when the time is right. Keep on keepin on, and you will be successful.

Also, feeling comfortable and relaxed is not always the way the present moment shapes up. Its nice to start sitting in a comfortable and relaxed posture but after some time(maybe only 5 mins.) this is bound to change, our job is to simply observe this process and not add additional mental suffering. If you can sit relatively comfortably on the cushion or on the bench to start then stick with one of these, but it is normal for discomfort to rear its ugly head at some point. Concentrate on the breath or whatever your object of meditation is and when discomfort seizes your awareness bring it back to the object. If this is not possible and the awareness is drawn towards some pain or other intense sensation then make this your new meditation object. Look at the pain, does it move around, what does it feel like, how long can you sit with it before you change your posture, does it eventually subside, if you make subtle adjustment to your posture does it subside or get worse, does it appear quickly or slowly build. Don't think you are not meditating if you focus your awareness on pain, if you can observe this pain and gradually build equanimity towards it, you are well on your way.

And, I was not joking when I said you are lucky to have this pain. Pain is one of the greatest teachers you can have, very quick progress can be made observing pain. Just remember to be kind to yourself during this process, and don't blow out a knee!!

If you find that this pain arises after 10 mins and you usually change posture, then see if you can make it another 3 mins before you adjust posture, sit with the pain and look at it, really zero in on it, with the full intention that I will adjust my posture when I reach my limit. In my experience this time will increase and you will find that the pain does not just keep on intensifying endlessly, it subsides and then intensifies and then subsides and then intensifies. Believe me I know when it intensifies it can feel very solid and permanent, but this is not the truth. Focussing on pain will really concentrate and sharpen the mind.

The way of the cross, purification through pain

It's a rocky path buddy!

[Dharmic Tui]

How deluded.

Our need for meditation assistance devices like fancy benches, mala beads, specific clothing, etc is part of what holds us back. True insight and peace knows no forms, needs no buildings or trinkets.

[Mikeler]

I've started using a cushion under the bench and now I'm finding it much easier to meditate. The pain has mostly gone away and I can focus on my breathing.

I'm glad I persisted.