Feel like having nothing to say

[lokariototal]

Hello guys,

Why do I find myself so many times without having anything to say to people, even though I want to connect with them? I just find that I don't know how to connect with them, or simply I don't know what to say?

Why is this? How can I connect with people (and how does meditation relate with connecting with others?)

Also I would like to know, is there any way I can apply meditation-kind techniques into socializing?

thanks

[Quardamon]

Hello Lokario,

Put it into practice with us:
Try to react to the different reactions that you got on your last post, "How to face others?"
If you cannot react, write down what happens. When ready, post that as a reaction to Renze, Redalert, Siddharthgode and me.
What you did now, just asking a new question and not reacting, gives the impression of being rude.
In a way, it is the same question again. So tell us how is was for you to get these reactions, please.

Friendly,

Quardamon

[Sylvia1982]

After reading your posts, I have just one thing to say and that is "SELF ACCEPTANCE". Buddha taught about three things 1. Dukkha (Suffering). Life is suffering, Anicca (Impermance). Everything changes, Anatta (No self). There is no self. Bear in mind this is the very high level teaching on what buddha taught. Once you understand these characterstics, all the problems become trivial.

Believe me, I was in your shoes at one point of my life and still am. But I am learning to accept things as they are. Only then I started to see a change in my life (positive change).

How you can learn to accept things are they are is a whole new can of worm and is not a very easy one and had anyone told me to accept my self eight years ago, I would have probably slapped the person but this the fact.

It varies from people to people but for me it was meditation and just meditation. Nothing else.

 Have a strong determination and give the teaching a fair chance. If it is possbile for you to go to a course, do so. If not, practise wherever you can. After all, it is INBREATH, OUT BREATH.

Try to maintain the precepts and if you slip dont be too hard on your self  because unleass and until we are perfect its all trial and error. Use the precepts as a yard stick to measure yourself and strive to purify the precepts daily. This will make you feel good about yourself.

Alternatively, get whatever counselling advice you can.

Also, on the positive note you are in a very safe and loving place. We all care for you.

Take Care

[Stefan]

Why do I find myself so many times without having anything to say to people, even though I want to connect with them?

... because, at this moment, there is nothing important to say?

The common way of connecting to others: smalltalk. But, once the self found out about the emptiness of smalltalk, the ego finds it complicated to connect to others via smalltalk. That's a problem because many people only know this way of connecting, chatter chatter 

So, in a practical sense, you need to talk about something important. And since it is important to you to connect to this person, then talk about him: Ask him who he is, what he thinks about whatsoever, what he does, what he did before, wether he needs help, why he is here, where he is from ... show your interest.

Be well!

[CameronJ]

In a general sense, I'd say our relationship with others improves by simply staying in the moment and being consistent about cooperating with others in an authentic and relevant way....looking at every interaction as as occasion to serve others while letting go of our own fixations in the process. It's a collaborative effort where we challenge one another in a supportive way for the spiritual benefit of the whole.

[GiantRumblebuffin]

There is nothing wrong with silence