Author Topic: Buddhism and emotional repression  (Read 3715 times)

lokariototal

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Buddhism and emotional repression
« on: December 04, 2012, 09:27:59 PM »
What should we do with emotions?

For example, if Im very angry at someone, what is the right thing to do? Is it better to express my anger, or to repress/meditate it and forgive the other person or what?

How should one express his or her emotions? What is the correct way to express them?

Thanks

Vivek

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Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2012, 11:55:05 PM »
Buddha's middle path: neither to express or suppress emotions, but to observe them.
Let's go beyond this illusion, shall we?

lokariototal

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Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2012, 12:17:57 AM »
Buddha's middle path: neither to express or suppress emotions, but to observe them.

yeah, but what if im super pissed off at somebody...?

redalert

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Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2012, 12:50:55 AM »
Hey loka,

The outward reaction to your emotions is of little consequence in the big picture, the only real importance is the volition behind your action.
If my friend wins the lottery and deep down I'm jealous as hell and pissed off at him this is the mental volition that will cause ego to form, it is of no real value that I outwardly congradulate my friend and wish him well if this is not truly how I feel.

Vivek

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Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2012, 01:47:03 AM »
Quote
yeah, but what if im super pissed off at somebody...?
So what? Observe what you mean by "pissed off". How exactly are you creating the result of "pissed off"? Bring all your awareness to observe the body and mind. Observe the breath, sensations, feelings, visions/sounds in the mind etc. Do not do anything else but observe. Observe the beginning of "pissed off". Observe how it eventually subsides. Then how it rises again. There is no quick-fix. One has to learn to observe by practice. It is going to be difficult, but eventually it will become easier.
Let's go beyond this illusion, shall we?

Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2012, 03:28:32 AM »
try try try with all your might... thats what matters. do not worry about the results... if u couldnt observe yourself.. sensations were too grouse and your mind quickly got angered and you lost yourself.. its ok. happens. dont feel down. what matters is did u try your best?
eventually everything will get better.

Falkov

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Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2012, 04:44:58 PM »
Quote
yeah, but what if im super pissed off at somebody...?

And, what caused you to get really pissed off?  Regardless of situation, the judging mind fuel by negative emotion, and where will this lead you to?    Even if the other did something stupid to you, why would you allow yourself to fall into this abyss?    Are you not in control of yourself: your own mind and emotion to lead a more constructive path?    We meditate so we become more aware of what is going w/ ourselves, especially w/ the mind- and to eventually master the mind and feeling - not the other way around. 

Quardamon

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    • Teachers were: P.K.K. Mettavihari, Frits Koster, Nel Kliphuis. (In the line of Mahasi Sayadaw)
Re: Buddhism and emotional repression
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2012, 08:22:03 PM »
Lokario,

When I think for instance about a former boss, and how I would handle my anger with her:
I would talk to friends and family that would never meet my boss and ask them how they would react in my situation, what they would do, what they would say to her and to colleagues and such things. So that is on the level of social interaction. I needed practical tips on what to do. There were several practical things that I could do. None of them was expressing my anger - on the contrary. But I grew very fast in knowing the official rules and regulations. That helped. I also, later, learned from colleagues what behaviour of her to ignore, and they told me what they liked about her. That helped me also.

When I could not sleep because I was so very angry, I would do the following exercise:
I would relax and feel my anger. Feel it as an energy in the body, around the stomach area. Then, I would sense that purely as energy. An energy that had potential and could be good or neutral. Then I would spread it over my body. I would feel energized, and I would fall asleep soon after that.
I am not so sure that you can do this just by reading my short description.


 

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