as the above post says "take what is acceptable and leave the rest" is what goenka stress on. why do you think our mind always finds something wrong in anything? it just want to escape.. i had the similar experience when i first did my vipassana retreat. i was so hung up on experiencing the whole self, going beyond mind n matter , getting enlightened ...... that my mind got agitated beyond control on 7th day when all that anger come up on the surface. its the way mind reacts.
i would suggest that forget everything taught in the retreat discourse. just sit and remove sangharas(remain equanimus to all sensations) and see if it has helped you or not. (atleast for a month).
as for as the mantra meditation goes. since you havnt tried mantra meditation u cant condemn what goenkaji is saying. he says he has tried both and came to that conclusion. experiment first and then compare. what he is saying might be true. but just leave that aside if its hard to accept. he keeps repeating that so that u give a honest try to the technique and if you mix up you might not be able to sense any physical sensations on 4th day and rest of the time might go to waste.
While that he gives for many times various types of sensations just like the feeling of heat, coldness vibrations, tingling, expanding, distracting, itching etc. He tells this really many times. For that I was afraid that the true experience suffers. What if one just feels these experiences because he hears about them in a state of unconsciousness? Is then not rather a self-hypnosis that a meditation. Wouldn`t it be enough to give a range of possible sensations once? I became very angry at this time.
as for as the 4th day : i dont know where u got that idea. he keeps on saying (100s of times) do not imagine anything to be there. dont expect anything. just observe and accept whatever there is. he never says u will sense pressure, heat , itching, heavy ...... he says u might. he says u might not sense anything also. he also says not to name any sensation. the important thing is to remain equanimus.
he also says why he does that. many students come and say they have all the above and no sensations. its for them.
so i dont get it how hypnotizing is involved here??? please expain.
The students are encouraged to sit Addithana for 2 hours as he explains the technique.
this i think u miss lisnted . its not addithana on the introduction day. and its always for 1 hr. during group sitting.
Later one he repeats the words annichae the rule of impermanence again and it again, I counted it: at the end of the meditation it was named three times in pali and three times in English. Again I was afraid of brainwashing. If he would say “Constance” again and again would we experience Constance? We shall we have an experience very much influenced by words? Is this a true experience?
lol u were counting the words!!! wait thats not the kind of meditation he taught

anyway if u say consciously that everything is impermanent again and again, it does no difference to the practice , the unconscious mind never understands this by just thoughts, thats the whole problem you see. we r trying to rectify the reacting part of the unconscious . it will stop reacting, if it were to realize that sensations are impermanent. if that happened just by hearing what was said then wow!! that would be nice

no more hard work
Having this in mind I did not feel like being able to trust and therefore to continue the practice for the rest of the course. If there is a contradiction between what you believe to be right and what you do it creates more problems,
this is very good way to proceed on the path. clear all doubts.
so after the sitting I calmed down and later on had an interview the teacher where I briefly explained some of my problems mentioned above. He just let me go without discussions. After asking him for using the internet to organize my return he said (I am not 100% sure) that it is not “possible” but the manager let me use is, so the assistance teacher broke his sila as it was possible. He as the person with the most experience shouldn’t do that it speaks again against the fruits, doesn’t it?
well assistant teachers are of absolutely no use if u start asking doubts about technique, they just keep saying let it go , let it go. it pissed me off when i started but latter i understood that its better to find solution to all that within.
as for as braking the silla, are you very sure that he actually knew there was internet facility at the place? did you hear from anybody that he knew or u saw him using? if not then dont you think you are coming to conclusion very soon. he might not know , thats not breaking silla.
maybe links to other teachings which can be further steps on my search
if you ask me what u need is little more actual practice. intellectual games can take you only so far.
be happy
