Share your experiences in daily practice

[DerDomi]

Hi everyone,

I thought it would be a good idea to have a thread where we can share whats coming up in our practice, much like a journal.

Today I was doing my normal sit of 1 hour. I made a resolve, first to develop concentration by watching the breathing and to afterwards focus on and mentally label thoughts and feelings. I wanted to especially focus on the 3 attributes of those thoughts and feelings - impermanence first, non-satisfactoriness after a while, and finish with non-self.

26.7.

Breath watching went quite nicely: I had the feeling of going deep, distractions became less and less noticeable and the experience of breathing became quite tangible and clear. I then switched to watching mind and feelings which after a while somehow became really unsatisfactory. Distractions like car sounds or noises became quite strong, way more than in any other practice session before. I noticed myself getting angry at this, thinking stuff like "why the f**k does every idiot need to own a car and drive past my house in the morning". In sessions before, I could easily have let it go. A flavor of "poor me" I noticed as well, coming together with the anger. I switched to focussing on the outside sounds a few times but even that didn't work. Something was definitely different this time. 10 mins before finish I felt a sudden rush of rage, bigger and faster than I could disentangle from it to watch it and I snapped out of meditation, cursing "f**k!"  . To be fair, this was the first time in about 2 months or so, that I prematurerely quit a meditation. I very seldomly experience the feeling of "when is it over" now, that's really nice. I went back into meditation to finish the session off after a minute, concentration was low however, so this feeling of "meh, thats unsatisfying" remained at the end.


I'd love to hear how it goes for y'all, be well =)
Dominik

[Andrew]

Hi Dominik,

I made a resolve, first to develop concentration by watching the breathing and to afterwards focus on and mentally label thoughts and feelings.

Do you often make resolves like this? If so how do they go?

For me my experience today was like this;

Sat and relaxed in burmese style for about 30 mins, adjusting until I was sure I could do no more to be comfortable. Gentle started with the breath and the sensations like waves as I breath in and out. Started noting gently as I wandered from the breath to the pains in my back and shoulders, watched as a series of itches started, noting gently (things like; itch, aversion, burning, thoughts, unpleasant, pressure) returned to my breath and felt myself control it, so I mentally noted "control" and relaxed careful to let the breath come in and out as felt natural. Breath was quite shallow and tense. Stayed with that a few minutes, before the next round of bodily pains and itches started (well they didn't really stop, but my attention went back to them) gently noted them again, noting also thoughts and feelings of doubt about my posture, straightened up a bit by adjusting my head. Decide to move to a chair and did another 15 mins of the same. Later came back and sat another 30 mins of similar.

 I've started for the last 3 or 4 sessions to be as free flowing as possible using noting to keep the mind occupied when it would otherwise want to daydream until I can return to the breath. Whatever I do, I'm avoiding controlling my breath or forcing my mind, as I found previously this was leading to hypnosis  and  eventually discouragement rather than mindfulness.

Perhaps you would like to start a dedicate practice thread for yourself?

in the dhamma

Andrew