the fun thread

[chintan]

Great one.. feeling bluesy lately.. this thread sure cheered me up...      

[Stefan]

I wouldn't want to miss that one here ...

http://www.vipassanaforum.net/forum/index.php/topic,1623.msg15377.html#msg15377

... I'd post the whole movie if it was not for copyrights sake ... 

[Vivek]

Charlie bit my finger! - nice one.

http://youtu.be/_OBlgSz8sSM

[Stefan]

... bull sitting ...

http://www.vipassanaforum.net/forum/index.php/topic,1627.msg15506.html#msg15506

[Stefan]

I insist in quoting Master Andrew here:

My guide to Vanilla and Bananna Meditation

First one must realise that Vanilla and Bananna are not contradicting flavours but rather complementary. Sometimes you want some Vanilla, sometimes Bananna, sometimes both.

When you have Vanilla it will leave it's flavour on your tongue, the key here is to Taste it.
when you have Bananna it will leave it's flavour on your tongue, the key here is to Taste it.

Which of course leads us to conclude that Vanilla and Bannana Meditation is actually Taste meditation.

Through extension of this concept you can easily see than you can have Tuna and Salad Meditation as well without actually doing anything different; it is still Taste Meditation.

Anyone doing Vanilla Meditation or Tuna meditation or Black Pudding Meditation without actually doing Taste meditation are actually just getting fat.

[Stefan]

We all knew it would end like this, didn't we?!

[Stefan]

... so we can conclude: "Who is Harrys grandfather?"

[Stefan]

and the third picture of this amazing trilogy: Harry's uncle!

[Matthew]

I don't know who this comedian is but he's quite funny. One of my fellow gardeners played this to me on Friday night - whilst we sat in the gardens around a fire in the rain, until 4am - drinking beer, watching the fox play and waiting to see if the burglars who broke into three people's sheds (including mine) last week, would return (they didn't).

[Stefan]

INSTALL THE SUMMER ..... █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░
44% FINISHED.

Installation failed.

404 error: The seasons are not found.
Season you are looking for may have been removed, had a different name, or is temporarily unavailable.
Please try again later.

[Mungo]

Not "funny" as such but interesting. I have seen that there are a few star wars fans here. I found it in with the steve jobs article Andrew posted. It is about the parallels between zen buddhism and the jedi.

http://www.livingdharma.org/Real.World.Buddhism/StarWars-Brenion.html

[Andrew]

very cool, The writer knows more about the Jedi that George Lucas does!

[Stefan]

and, not so funny any more but actually a sad story ...
the new Star Wars Trilogy provides us with insights about getting trapped by the dark side of the force.

While IV-VI tells us the rise of Luke, part I-III tell the story of the fall of Anakin Skywalker. And this story is full of all those trap doors that lead to wearing an iron mask in the end and breathing heavily all the time. What a horrible and accurate picture!
He is an-akin skywalker, meaning not familiar with "walking the skies" but lurking through all those emotions that are a path to hell without equanimity. Everything blinds him: love, power, life, death, because he clings to every detail of his life with all his power. And, shame, his power is incredible! So he is bound to fall into the darkest of nights, a night that doesn't end after a few days.

He is hopeless. He is only rescued by an external input (in this case the semi-enlightened Luke). That is why arahants choose to stay on earth, I guess. We need their help. They won't leave us stuck in a swamp.

Thanks to all the Buddhas, Jesus' and Lukes out there for sticking with us. Thanks.


I took TMO's thread from senseless fun to serious philosophy. So, TMO, sorry for that.

Metta, Stefan

PS.:

The writer knows more about the Jedi that George Lucas does!

actually I am not so sure about this. wise man, this Mr. Lucas.

[Stefan]

and now ... for something completely different ...

The Handfarters!

http://www.chilloutzone.net/video/handfurz-duett.html

[Stefan]

this is about right posture: YOGI CURLING

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMDA0MzlKbs

[Andrew]

Faaaar neeeee! 

[Masauwu]

Hungry kitty vs can of food, aka masauwu vs mindfulness of breath meditation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzgfGhqQ4KQ#t=13s

[Stefan]

 

[Stefan]

  this one is from Ivana:


A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone4, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."

[Andrew]

 

[DerDomi]

^^

in the same spirit: A yuppie crashes his BMW convertible in a horrible accident on the highway. The paramedics have to free him from his car, since its so deformed that he cant get out. All the while, the yuppie laments "My car! My beautiful beautiful car! I saved for years to buy this car, and now its crap! Oh god this is horrible!".
One of the paramedics turns to him and says "Mister, screw your car! You're lucky to be alive after an accident like this! Look,  your left arm is missing!"
The yuppie looks baffled and then says "My Rolex, my beautiful Rolex!"

 

[Quardamon]

I am considering setting up a website

   UselessTruth.Com

There are lots of places where one can sell or buy second hand stuff.

Why not sell the insights and wisdoms that you do not want any more?

Truth is not useless at all - it can be used to generate money. And respect. It is quite sexy to sell Spirital Development, is it not. And it is spiritual not to want it just for yourself. So, share it with the world. Especially if you have grown cynical and do not want your truths and ideals and the hard work any more for yourself.

Give your self-respect a boost by selling people what they are graving for.  (   . . .   Hey, wait a moment    . . .   graving,   grave?  The word was craving, isn't it? Sorry for the Freudian slip of the pen.   ) 
Everyone craves for happiness. So let's sell Happyness. Just for a reasonable amount of money.
   . . .   And I will tell the people, that in the spiritual world, less is more. So Appyness is even more than Happyness. Let us say, it is the advanced stage. Some are so dedicated, that they make it to the next level of less-is-more, and they are ready to appreciate Pyness. Of course it costs them a few dimes extra, but then they know the true spiritual worth of what they got. And they admire me, which I like. Their true spiritual development will be my responsibility, so that makes their lives easy. They happy, me happy.

For some who will swear to keep the Secret secret, I am planning to give the real and ultimate insight into emptiness. The true thing is not a -ness or a -like - it is the thing itself, the Py. Of course, those who make it to this sacred realm will see the world in a different way, and will have left behind them the simple world of ordinary manifestations where it all started: with a craving for happiness. They are now dedicated to the realm of purity and insight, the Py. They are the happy few. (Or so they will believe, that is the point. And I will be the happiest and fewest of them all.)

To keep up to date with our marketing techniques, we will have to have an inner-inner circle, the secret Py club, in short: the spyclub. We will use this club to knock down everyone who wants to spoil this harmless fun, by taking away the aura of the numinous of this by explaining it in simple words to the public. 
(Do you notice: I am using the "pluralis majestatis": talking about myself as "we". I do feel quite majestic, rolling out this vision for a better world.)

Of course, the really smart ones will at some day come to the conclusion that      is even more than Py. Like some smart-asses tell, that God can not be seen or sold. Of course, if they start to bother us with legal actions or so, we will humbly admit, that indeed we made their hearts warm for      (usually called "nothing") and that that is what they paid for. But we can point to the fact, that we have been telling that from the beginning.
So, I did not trick or cheat anyone.
I just made people happy with ideas and ideals I did not use any more.

Is it illegal to be cynical?       

I love being cynical.     . . . he  he   he   .   

Be cheated and be happy     gna    gna    gna

Humbly, yours for never,

QurushThemAll ForBreakfast

[Matthew]

Thank you for that Quardamon

[Andrew]

if you have grown cynical

I love being cynical.     . . . he  he   he   .   

After the laughter faded I wondered who you are parodying?

They drew a circle that shut me out,
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout!
But love and I had the wit to win
We drew a circle that took them in.
(Edwin Markham 1852-1940)

[Stefan]

A pity you left out the sexual aspect.
I'll fix that for you    "Money for nothing and the chicks for free" shall be thy motto.
Quardamom sign me up as your PR-agent!

There's nothing to be scared of!
May nothing stand in your way!
May nothing be with you!