Thanks so much for clarifing, Stefan
... if there's something to say, it's "straight forward" without sneaking around and in a friendly kind of way. we people from Vienna love that! Pamojjam I hope we reached this point!
Yeah, now I understand much better what's been going on between us and can relate to it really well. However, in my experience such openness needs unceasing - as Tara brought it to the point -
'awareness, awareness, awareness -- means awareness'.And the courage to talk about unpleasant preconceptions.
Which brings me, after quite some detours, back to our topic:
'Between indulgence and self-denial' ;-)
In its relation to some time I spend practicing in a Burmese meditation monastery, and my insight there - maybe appearing paradoxical due to having lived adventures many are only dreaming of - that out of my particular psychological setup I in reality lived most of my live in denial. And that I had to leave always politely smiling South- Asia (and not only the monastery really), if I wanted to balance myself. Denial not so much of pleasures, but inward pretense really.
However, I found that I've been really mistaken by the openness of most travelers into concluding Westerners to be more open than Asians. I've been away for about 10 years and what I felt coming back was a very subtle but deeply rooted fear of each other in public places here. And undesigned honesty - whenever it occurs - feels soo precious to me. So how did you mean Viennese being different in loving straight-forwardness? Don't you think they have this subtle fear too?
You have a lot of experience, ...
I hope you don't mistake my experience to mean authority - which in my opinion should never be given away. Though one's authority could be given, consequences remain always with oneself!
affront, insult, mortification ... if it really is so, I realise that it's on a very deep level and quite subtle..
Kränkung (?)
There is something on a very deep level within you which feels as 'gekränkt' (?)
Can you locate this feeling somewhere in the body? - does it still feel like that?
(I don't mean to get the answers you'll get written down here! They aren't at their proper place on a public forum.) However, you being so ready for this inquiry, it's this time my turn to say thanks for your insights!
No not towards you! I don't sign with "Metta" for nothing I (try to) mean it, I try to send it, imperfectly as I am at this stage. I am just not quite sure at the real intention behind (parts of) your forum.
Wholesome and unwholesome mind moments, kusala and akusala dhamma, always change and alternate. That's the rule and no different with me, or you (I assume).
The map of 4 stages to liberation, if nothing else, should make exactly that clear. So it would be the pretense we wanted to leave behind, which would claim that I was able to write a text in such a length out of - let me look on our map - the stage of an Anagami? A Non-Returner? -
Real intentions are always mixed, till then, you can be sure.
the very best..