Some of us are much better off quieting "high amplitude" afflicted emotional states thru other means .... some psychotherapeutic techniques are oriented to this.
I calmed my very deluded self alot before starting with Shamatha by practicing Ki-breathing for almost 6 month. BUT, Ki-breathing couldn't give the insight into the actual nature of my deluded self. I couldn't see that this self was not real but just a repetitive CD running in my conditioned mind. The mind still had great impact on my life and still remained very angry and agitated.
This is where Calm-abiding Shamatha helped ALOT! Through
calm abiding Awareness I have witnessed the SELF running wild on its own and me helpless not able to do anything at first. I could see how suffering comes to be.
With time AND PRACTICE I felt more and more disconnected from the deluded self which still is running wild but has no true power over the conscious/awake me as much. The more I notice the delusional self through calm awareness the more Awake I become.
Becoming a Buddha/Awakened is not something which happens in ONE particular moment (I feel) like enlightenment but something which is created like a pullover with each and every single stitch we made, the path is not the goal but each and every single step we make, today we awake once, tomorrow we awake twice, the 3rd day 3 times, etc... with practice we awake more and more BUT do not FABRICATE anything and let "the biggies" be just that

and
simply go back to calm abiding not thinking that Shamatha needs some special preparation. Shamatha is the actual preparation for the Insight and Bliss to happen.The sitting practice is of no big importance but the actual life off the cushion where one clearly sees the change happening. My siting sessions are still very chatty and noisy but that doesn't mater to me anymore and I clearly feel bliss and calm sliding into my off the cushion life all day long which is where it matters most

Let the biggies stay on the cushion, and let the Bliss enter the actual life where we interact with our selves and others the most.
The practice is important VERY SO, but we do it for the sake of the ride not for the sake of some fabricated "perfect" sitting.
SO, please Jeffrey my friend, try and get your strengths together and put it into the daily practice for a few month not taking the deluded self too seriously.
It is NOT about calming the ego self but about separating one awake self from the deluded ignorant self that creates the suffering by simply being aware of all that takes place without engaging into it, or if engaged by disengaging from it and going back to calming the body with each in and out breath.
Please STOP calming the ego self and calm the body instead. Just notice the ego self without taking it seriously and let it be as it is without engaging into it. Being annoyed by it IS engaging you see. So please try to notice this and disengage by not taking it seriously.
We engage each time we Desire or Reject thoughts, emotions, sensations. Just let it be while sitting and ONLY come back to CALMING THE BODY WITH EACH IN AND OUT BREATH.
It will all be good my friend you will see just keep sitting

Friendly Che