Author Topic: help me indians if u can :(  (Read 7689 times)

dobe

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #25 on: December 18, 2010, 03:24:13 PM »
Quardamon:  Hes asking for help on how to deal with his lust, this is a universal problem for males... not just Indians. Besides, I'm sure I got some Indian in me in a past life time. LoL

Rideforever: I can see how you do not want to suppress anything.  You have a valid point here, if you spend all day resisting the urge to jerk and its driving you crazy, it is likely to have bad affects.  Body follows mind.  Think lustful thoughts all day and it will be bad for you not to masturbate, truly.  As a meditator, you need to dis identify with your mind!  Thinking lustful thoughts is a habit, and like all bad habits, they can be de-energized and eventually disappear.  You will never transcend your ego if cannot release from all attachments, its a fact.  Self realization is not a past time hobby you can have, do it half ass, and succeed.  To indulge in one's sense pleasures, but "do it with awareness" is a nice rationalization, a justification to indulge.  The ego is quite clever.  

One cultivates awareness to maintain consciousness.  Slowly ones conscious awareness strengthens to the point of intense one pointedness of mind.  This strong awareness is not the end, but a means to an end.  This strong awareness is a means to cutting away all illusion and glamor(sex being one), thus severing ones attachment to the collection of illusions(the ego).

rideforever

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #26 on: December 18, 2010, 03:39:25 PM »
Quote
One cultivates awareness to maintain consciousness.  Slowly ones conscious awareness strengthens to the point of intense one pointedness of mind.  This strong awareness is not the end, but a means to an end.  This strong awareness is a means to cutting away all illusion and glamor(sex being one), thus severing ones attachment to the collection of illusions(the ego).

Awareness is the end.  If it is a means to an end then you are living in the future.  If it is a means to 'cut' / 'sever' then you are living in the future.  Future = mind.

Also think of the words you are using cut and sever.  These words are not equanimity.

dobe

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #27 on: December 18, 2010, 03:48:33 PM »
I pray you one day realize the Luciferic distortions of OSHO's teachings.  Many things he said was true, many half truths.  I would recommend you read some more time honored enlightened work. Bhagavad Gita, Hinyana or Mahayana Bhuddist traditions... read Ghandi's story.  Read Ramakrishna or nisargadatta maharaj (more recent people).  Anyways good luck

Quardamon

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #28 on: December 18, 2010, 04:02:27 PM »
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Well I am half-Indian thanks !!

I am sorry not to have seen that.

Quardamon

rideforever

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #29 on: December 18, 2010, 04:41:58 PM »
Hey dobe, look I am sorry if I have angered you I am just saying what I see.  I find this useful.  Let's keep talking.

dobe

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #30 on: December 18, 2010, 05:14:18 PM »
sorry you did annoy me LoL.  Sorry for attacking your point of view.

The way I see it: Our mind is full of all sorts of thoughts, ideas, songs, projections of the future, regrets of the past, etc... And all these thoughts when engaged with have their concomitant emotions that follow.  Sex is not bad, nor is it wrong or something that needs to be repressed.  It is a necessary biological function to propagate our species.  But we here have made it our intention to transcend our ego and animal instincts in order to realize our true nature.  You cannot just do whatever, and do it with awareness.  That is a clever rationalization of the ego to propagate itself.  I do not live in the future.  In the present I make it my intention to maintain one-pointedness of mind continuously, and when erotic thoughts arise, I notice them, but maintain awareness that I am aware, and the thoughts fall away as fast as they had risen.  Its only when my awareness is week, and I unconsciously follow up the erotic thought with a whole porno story, then to my dismay I have a boner and the energy field is already dominating my consciousness.  The attraction builds on itself, reason becomes subserved to rationalize and justify masturbating "just to get it over with."  Thus the vicious cycle continues.  If you were to truly maintain onepointed awareness, and not focus your awareness bellow your heart chakra, then you will transcend this energy field and this whole sexual dilemma will fall away like a sad joke.

This is how I see it

Matthew

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #31 on: December 18, 2010, 08:15:13 PM »
...Awareness is the end.  If it is a means to an end then you are living in the future.  If it is a means to 'cut' / 'sever' then you are living in the future.  Future = mind. ...

Awareness is a concept. Concepts live in the mind. Awareness itself is not the end. The end of suffering is the end. Awareness is a means to that end. Without the right view and intention awareness can be used for evil and to create suffering. Hitler was very aware. He lacked balance in the other essential aspects.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2010, 08:25:08 PM by The Irreverent Buddhist »
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chintan

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #32 on: December 25, 2010, 02:39:30 PM »
sudhir - i am indian 41 years old - married for 10 years.. did my first retreat 15 months back... have been meditating for about 10 years and still have lustful thoughts when i see women.. they are not going to go away easily.. when i was your age I was deeply in love and hence lust was not top of my mind.. but yes it has been always around..

my only concern is that you seem to be taking meditation as an alternative to living - you need to go out interact with the women.. fall in love.. have sex (if it comes by).. look at it like this.. if you get married and do not find satisfaction in that you would rue your missed opportunity.. try going to prostitutes if you want to but am sure you will find it repulsive..

it requires immense strength and resolve to follow the practice.. given the current social milieu in india you would have very few friends who will understand you.. my peer group has started thinking i am crazy..  maybe you will find a partner who understands you..

with metta

Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #33 on: December 25, 2010, 03:11:57 PM »
thanks for the reply.

i tried to have  a relationship , but indian girls thoughts go way over my head. they talk about what happened in 1 hr. for the rest of the day. talk about that , this . bla bla bla.indian girls , atleast around karnataka, the way they are brought up is wrong.
 i got to a point where there characters itself started to scare me. im not like them. i cant search the so called 1 in this mess. so i gave up. let the time come if it has to.

still i feel whenever i see a girl i just wont be me anymore. i turn into someone else , thought pattern goes crazy. if i try to solve it , the end desire is sex only. so im trying to find some no guilt sex. hope it will solve my prob.

Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #34 on: December 25, 2010, 03:15:30 PM »
my only concern is that you seem to be taking meditation as an alternative to living

 i m trying very hard to incorporate it into my living.
atleast i think i am. :)

i life without samatha scares me now .

i m trying to leave true to myself. no more of that what neighbor will think. 

Vivek

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #35 on: December 25, 2010, 05:49:33 PM »
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bla bla bla.indian girls , atleast around karnataka, the way they are brought up is wrong.
If you are near Bangalore, you should be able find plenty of good girls there. I am sure you could get one of your liking. (Gosh, I forgot this is a meditation forum! ::) )
Let's go beyond this illusion, shall we?

rideforever

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Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #36 on: December 25, 2010, 07:31:29 PM »
I've got an idea Siddharthgode.  Why don't you do online dating BUT in your profile make sure you say that you are practicing mindfulness and that you want someone who is ... (just say whatever it is).

That's what I did (in the UK) and I am sure it got rid of 95% of the mindless women out there.  And I found a nice one.  Actually, I found several nice ones, mindful, not crazy, considerate.


Re: help me indians if u can :(
« Reply #37 on: December 26, 2010, 07:48:25 AM »
hey ! that is a good idea.

il try. ty

how to find them in facebook? :)
indians dont use anyother website.