Meditation Forum

Vipassana Meditation Forum => Meditation, Practice And The Path => Topic started by: noupsordowns on October 13, 2018, 08:36:10 PM

Title: Meditation revealing subtle addictions
Post by: noupsordowns on October 13, 2018, 08:36:10 PM
Quick background about my meditation experience - my first major meditation experience was 1.5 years ago at a goenka vipassana retreat. I had a lot of epiphanies about my life then, stopped meditating soon after and just getting back into the groove of meditating again due to some life events.

As I'm getting deeper into my meditation practice, I find subtle addictions revealing itself. By "subtle" addictions I mean the kind of things that people don't usually consider addictions, but nevertheless are compulsive cravings

Consuming excess information - from social media, news, etc. Clicking post after post and getting lost in here

Obsession with sex - searching for and seducing new partners, having sex for hours on end etc.

Binging TV or food or sometimes weed

Doing random things when bored which aren't necessarily useful in a long term sense such as partying, checking our random events etc.

Obsession with a new hobby...only to stop it in a few months or a year's time



Meditation has revealed to me that I move from one of these compulsions to the next in phases...but there's always some predominant compulsion. I find it hard to stay "balanced". I'm not sure if everyone is like this or it's just me...knowing a few others deeply, I'm tempted to say that almost everyone is like this (the set of "subtle" addictions are different for each person). I'm not entirely sure if that's true though, what do you all think?



Another key insight that meditation has revealed to me -> excessive thinking! Being distracted at work and giving 50% attention to a task that requires 100%. A few weeks ago for the first time I was able to "stay mindful" for a few days at a stretch and I could just feel the silence. I got about 10x done as a typical work week and I wasn't stressed at all. I've been trying to recreate that ever since but no luck. In fact, more recently I find that I'm quite troubled after meditating vipassana for an hour at a stretch (due to problems in my life revealing itself). I feel like I've wasted a large portion of my life through several of my obsessions which have led nowhere. I hope this feeling is just temporary, but it's very worrying to me.



Let me know your thoughts! I hope I'm not alone in all of this.
Title: Re: Meditation revealing subtle addictions
Post by: VipassanaXYZ on October 14, 2018, 09:00:05 AM

Seek help to come out out addiction from weed.

Seek help to come out of sexual addiction.

This first, then anything else.
Title: Re: Meditation revealing subtle addictions
Post by: emptyhand on October 14, 2018, 11:09:46 PM
@VipassanaXYZ I disagree and don't think this advice is very useful. It's more like you're offering to deal with the effect rather than the cause. The problem is not the weed nor the addiction to having sex itself. The problem is more than anything an attachment to impermanent states that are caused by the above. Primarily, pleasant sensations.

Also, to the original poster. Keep meditating. The reason you're feeling troubled after meditation is because you're stirring up some things that are buried deep in your subconscious. THAT'S PROGRESS in my eyes  :) As things come up, allow yourself to feel. Whether it be shame, guilt, unsettling feeling, good feeling or something else. Much like a breath, every breath is different, there's no need to control it. Just observe. And after the meditation session, I usually contemplate why certain states of mind or emotions overcome me. A lot of realisations happen during and after for me. After a while, after I would identify and deconstruct them more and more...even when I would start to feel a certain sensation / state of mind arising, it just wouldn't bother me as much.

Having said that, the above is based on my own experiences, so it's possible it may not apply. Take what makes sense to you and discard the rest!

May you find what you seek  ;)
Title: Re: Meditation revealing subtle addictions
Post by: stillpointdancer on October 15, 2018, 10:55:49 AM

1. Meditation has revealed to me that I move from one of these compulsions to the next in phases...but there's always some predominant compulsion. I find it hard to stay "balanced". I'm not sure if everyone is like this or it's just me...knowing a few others deeply, I'm tempted to say that almost everyone is like this (the set of "subtle" addictions are different for each person). I'm not entirely sure if that's true though, what do you all think?


2. Another key insight that meditation has revealed to me -> excessive thinking! Being distracted at work and giving 50% attention to a task that requires 100%. A few weeks ago for the first time I was able to "stay mindful" for a few days at a stretch and I could just feel the silence. I got about 10x done as a typical work week and I wasn't stressed at all. I've been trying to recreate that ever since but no luck.

3.In fact, more recently I find that I'm quite troubled after meditating vipassana for an hour at a stretch (due to problems in my life revealing itself). I feel like I've wasted a large portion of my life through several of my obsessions which have led nowhere. I hope this feeling is just temporary, but it's very worrying to me.

You make some good points emptyhand, although as VipassanaXYZ says, any clinical addiction may need some professional help rather than just meditation. Here's my thoughts:

1.There's always something cropping up like this for everyone not in the 'enlightened' category, and even then who knows?

2.You can't recreate in meditation. You go through an experience then have to move on to the next. Expectations tend to hold back the meditation process.

3.I have certainly felt in the past like I wasted much of my life before I took up meditation, but was given some good advice, that it's better late than never. Maybe if you hadn't gone through stuff you might never have found meditation and Buddhism.