Meditation Forum

Vipassana Meditation Forum => Meditation, Practice And The Path => Topic started by: raushan on June 14, 2017, 03:00:53 AM

Title: Having too much doubt and self doubt
Post by: raushan on June 14, 2017, 03:00:53 AM
Hi,
 
I feel like I am having too much self doubt about me. I feel not smart enough. Even regarding any decisions be it related to career, or any thing I am having decision paralysis. Self doubt is present. I tried for higher studies for past 2 years but couldn't get good college. So, I stayed here in this job. But, I feel like I don't like this job currently. Now, they are offering Part time Masters. I am not able to decide whether I should stay here and do the part time m tech or switch to other place and try again next year.

How do I deal with it? How do I deal with the feeling that I am not smart as other people. I feel like in my office every one is progressing, learning but I am too slow. But, from my past experience I know that I was not slow. Means I always had good grades and did well in school and colleges.

Also, recent thoughts coming in my mind that I don't like this job at all. I should switch. But, again I don't understand is this feeling arising because of the self doubt?
Title: Re: Having too much doubt and self doubt
Post by: LoneWolf on June 15, 2017, 04:59:39 AM
Hi Raushan,

I think self doubt is pretty natural. Everyone gets it, although for different things. So the first thing I want you to know that nearly everyone has self doubt and that's okay! Even Einstein doubted himself before his paper on the photoelectric effect!

From a practical note, I found one thing to help with self doubt. Because the ego will cling to self doubt as its identity, it can take a long time to overcome it completely. So take very small steps outside of your comfort zone regularly that just slightly challenges your self doubt and the egos conception of yourself. Each time, take another step forward and you will find one day you feel much better.

I will give an example. Let's say someone has self doubt about driving a car, they just don't think they can do it. The thought of driving a car scares them. The first thing they would need to do is just unlock a car and sit in the drivers seat without driving at all. After doing this many times, they can turn on the ignition and off. The next thing they can do is drive at 1mph for a few seconds then hit the break. Slowly and persistently, they will eventually feel comfortable driving a car.

This might be similar to how you could approach things in your career. You could say this month I will focus on mastering this one task. Then next month, on something bigger. Then you might say you will spend one hour each day after work studying what you want to do your masters on. Slowly but surely, you will find yourself much more comfortable and gaining momentum. The trick is to focus on one thing at a time which is slightly out of your comfort zone but digestable.

On an unrelated note, only you can make the decision for what career path is right for you, but I would say gear yourself up to something that excites you! And if the change seems too scary, use the technique above. Good luck Raushan!
Title: Re: Having too much doubt and self doubt
Post by: stillpointdancer on June 16, 2017, 09:40:59 AM
Some people find the hardest meditations are those aimed at being kind to yourself. Saying "May you be happy, may you be well" to yourself during a metta meditation may be a good starting point.
Title: Re: Having too much doubt and self doubt
Post by: Obol on June 16, 2017, 06:46:00 PM
I will give an example. Let's say someone has self doubt about driving a car, they just don't think they can do it. The thought of driving a car scares them. The first thing they would need to do is just unlock a car and sit in the drivers seat without driving at all. After doing this many times, they can turn on the ignition and off. The next thing they can do is drive at 1mph for a few seconds then hit the break. Slowly and persistently, they will eventually feel comfortable driving a car.

This might be similar to how you could approach things in your career. You could say this month I will focus on mastering this one task. Then next month, on something bigger. Then you might say you will spend one hour each day after work studying what you want to do your masters on. Slowly but surely, you will find yourself much more comfortable and gaining momentum. The trick is to focus on one thing at a time which is slightly out of your comfort zone but digestable.

Hi Raushan,

This advice will help you. Take something small you doubt yourself over, and do it, as many times as is necessary. Pay attention to the fact that you have done it. Realise that you doubted yourself, but you could do it. Enjoy the feeling of having accomplished it.

My advice, on the basis of LoneWolf's, is to pay close attention to how you treat yourself before, during, after doing it. Overcoming the doubt will result from proving to yourself that you can do the thing.
Title: Re: Having too much doubt and self doubt
Post by: dharma bum on June 17, 2017, 03:32:31 AM
Raushan, it is actually common to be in that situation. I have been there myself. When you're working, it is hard to have the time and focus to prepare for exams and it is common to get confused and have self-doubt. You could talk to experienced people in your field if doing a part-time mtech helps you in your career path or not. If you are determined to pursue any path you decide, you could get help in your decision. For a full-time MTech, you could join classes or team up with other students for motivation and momentum. But like others have mentioned, only you can make the decision.
Title: Re: Having too much doubt and self doubt
Post by: raushan on June 17, 2017, 05:53:46 AM
Thanks All guys, It was really helpful. Will implement some of the advice given above.