hello there...

[Quardamon]

Hi Andy,

Farewell - that means: have a good journey. It is so weird, this mixture of the internet and almost-friendship.
When we change jobs, we say farewell to colleagues, when we move houses we say farewell to the neighbours and the shopkeepers - if they are there. Maybe it is like that. I was glad to meet you on this forum. For me it was good to hear how you dealt with a Pentecostal movement, for instance.
As it sounds, you are doing wise to stay away from the forum. Get to sleep when it is time to sleep - it is afternoon for me now, not for you.
May your path be glad that you are walking it. Take care.

Love,
Quardamon

[ivana]

Hi Andy
I think we will be sad without you but do not worry we will manage it and we will not hate you. I wish you good luck.
Take care
Ivana

[Morning Dew]

I'm just spending far too much time on here. It is really a two way thing at the moment, I seem to be learning things, but when I try and disengage from the thoughts and comments I'm not able.

Good man for actually being aware of this I remember when I decided to go away from the forum. That was the time I ran into the Dark Night stage and man it was good I just get the hell out of here because I had only my self to focus on, no forum, no posts, no replies and other mind garbage. Those few weeks out of this community meant a lot to me. As Matthew sais reflection and practicing in solitude (mind solitude is enough) will do you good my friend 

I just tried to sit for an hour as I have said i needed to start doing and i couldn't get this place out of my head. And thinking back it has been like that alot.

This happened to me alot when I started meditating in this community but even today it can happen a lot. Before I would be very upset because of it while today i just observe it until it goes away on its own     I cant be annoyed with my deluded mind anymore since it simply doesn't know what it is doing. It would be the same as being annoyed with a schizophrenic person    I smile at my mind instead.

but I'm talking my ball and I'm going home

Oh cmon mate, at least leave the ball behind   

One more thing before you go away; make sure you recognise if you fall into the Dark Night stage and the whole INNER world turns NEGATIVE and DARK. This is very likely to happen to all meditators. Make sure to explain this to your wife and make sure not to show this at work. In a case you feel you must say it all out you are more than welcome to come in here and say it to me instead 
Before you are able to actually differentiate from the deluded self the ego will resist the change. Off the cushion life is where you will see the signs of the Dark Night. I for example suddenly had lots of fights with my wife, hated my work, many old emotions and memories came out, i hated this forum, everything was so confusing like the very ground was disappearing under my very feet ... any way dont stress about this now, some people go through this stage very fast.
Remind yourself that all what comes to the mind are arisings and will pass if we dont cling to it only by clinging to the Dark Night stage one gets pulled into it for long periods. Treat it as you treat any other thought, breath, notice and let go of it again and again and again... and of course calming into the body

OK, I better let you rock n roll now (I am worse than my mum), you will be just fine my friend

All the best!

Your friend, Che Guedusko

[Vivek]

Andy, take care, mate. It's been great having you here. Hope you'll come back when you feel it to be prudent. All the best.

[ramelec]

Hello Andy,

Even though I don't know you well enough, you take good care and it is great you contributed a lot to this forum.  I wish you all the best and hope to hear from you.

Best Regards
Jeffrey

[Stefan]

What i really want is to replicate an experience I describe as 'my 8 seconds' that occurred many years ago.

I had my 8 seconds and was bashed ...
of course I wanted to reproduce them ... wouldn't happen (of course!) ...
so I forced it, some ascetic weeks should do the trick ...
after five weeks it really happened BUT ... you don't get what you WANT ...
I was speeding beyond my eight seconds in a blink of an eye ... faaar to faaar  . aaaaaargh!!!
I managed to get back somehow, it took me hours ...

right now, I just do it and don't care too much about replicating anything.
That feels good, even if nothing spacy is happening for a long period.

Metta to you!

Stefan

[Stefan]

so ...

Sounds like some time practicing and reflecting on that practice will be very beneficial.
Just don't replace the forum with another addiction.

...YES!

[dragoneye]

I really appreciated your input here Andy. I feel more confident in humanity knowing people like yourself are on the path and are holding such love in their hearts.
Bless you and good travels, with love,
DE

[littlegrape]

It was nice osmosis'n ideas with ya Andy, maybe our paths will cross again - 'till then, keep it real.   

[kidnovice]

I'm certainly going to miss hearing from you, Andy. I've really valued your honesty, wisdom, and heart. You know that you are always welcome here.   

Much metta,
KN

[Stefan]

Not familiar with every detail.
Moving on is good. Running away isn't always good.
Telling the difference is hard when in distress.

I like your posts, too.
Metta on your path,

Stefan

[Andrew]

Andy,

Love is something you may not have gotten enough of or in the right way as a child. So accept it now, from all life has to offer.

Be well,

Matthew

Damn, how many pennys do you want from me? 

Edit; Quardamon you can tell me this; every time I write' from', it spell it 'form', does that mean something? 

[Quardamon]

Formally there was this former me, but now I do not know where came this "me" from.

           Does that help?   

Some wants penny, some wants pain. Some do not know, but do refrain from someone's pain.

           Do not ask me what this means - I am just an artist.          
Does this remark on pennies imply that you are struggling with the theme of cynicism?

[Andrew]

haha thanks mate, no one could have said it better!

no I wasn't cynical, I was in full 'no self' flight and had a beer, which put me at another level of mind. At that level the  memories of the childhood 'self' making were there waiting with questions of pain. I saw that the reason for pain was beyond the understanding of anyone in the circle I could draw around the poor monkeys involved. 2 strata down. 14 to go.

[Matthew]

Andy,

Love is something you may not have gotten enough of or in the right way as a child. So accept it now, from all life has to offer.

Be well,

Matthew

Damn, how many pennys do you want from me? 

...

"i" want nothing from "you":
"You" give so much,
"You" repay everything,
"i" have given "you":
A thousand times each day.
So, there is no-thing to pay:
There are no words to say,
The touch of life you bring,
That heart that has to sing:
Of freedom deep within,
Within, within, within.
Keep journeying,
Within.

Be free. Like "my" advice.

Louis Armstrong - what a wonderful world